Rainy day thoughts
I’m still in NZ, it seems to rain a lot here.
Today, I guess, more than usual. It’s been raining all day long, off and on. It would probably suck if I were trying to hike, or wandering some mysterious new place, but I’m not, I’m warm, and mostly dry, and safe in my little room, listening to the rain, and watching it.
I just wandered back from the common room, actually. With just a t-shirt, no sweater, or jacket, or umbrella. The rain is cold, and it’s probably only about 60 out, but… For a minute or two, standing there, in the middle of the courtyard, I wasn’t sure I really wanted to come in. Sometimes, when it rains like this, the steady, all day long rain, I just want to curl up somewhere warm and dry, and think warm thoughts, and cuddle.
Most of the time, though, like tonight, I want to tear my shirt off and spin, arms outspread, in the rain, head tilted back, just enjoying it. I want to run, bare assed nekkid, crazy, through it, feeling the cold, and the patterns, and the wet. I want to lay out on a table, or a wall, or a walkway, or a grassy field, and just watch it fall on me, the spattering sounds all around, the weight of the water as it lands. Just sink into the rainy night, no thinking, just being.
I’m sure there’s something wrong with people like me, people who love the rain, and long drizzley days that drag on forever in a gray foggy cloud, who can sit and watch it snow for hours without getting bored. Or maybe it’s that there’s something wrong with everyone else. They just see the gray day, not how it makes the greens brighter, or how it makes things look softer, easier. They see the rain-slick streets, not the neat puddles to jump in, the worms crawling across the sidewalk, the way the moss between the paving stones gets so green it hurts my eyes.
They want to hurry through, not get wet, not ruin their hair, or makeup, or suit. I want to stand in it and spin, and spin, and spin. Then again, I can spend an entire day just looking at one item in a museum. Obviously I’m not right in the head.
But yeah. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort for me to drag myself in from the rain. I think maybe rain is like fog. While it’s there, the world is more magical, things look different, and you don’t know what could show up.
I wandered A’dam in the rain, actually. I didn’t have much choice. I wasn’t spending the day in the airport, and it was raining. With in a few minutes of it really starting, the streets were mostly clear, even the winter carnival thing down by the museum. A little rain and I had the place almost totally to myself. I’m sure people thought I was crazy, wandering in the rain, no umbrella or raincoat.
I want to go back out now, lay in the rain, listen to it, get soaked, and cold, enjoy the quiet of it, the way voices echo funny, and the distance it seems to put between things. But I’m sick, and I can’t afford to get worse, so I’m staying inside. If I had a bathtub to warm up in after, and maybe a boy, I’d be out there now, laughing, and spinning, getting soaked, hair swirling around me in a tangled mess.
I love the rain.
j.
Tags: life, Travel
lazyjayn
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