A Million Minutes in Africa

So what is it like to drive south of the border? Mad times, crazy, man. Let´s just say this is sort of freestyle driving. Sure, you could follow all the traffic rules, but what fun is there in that? I think that would just show a lack of creativity. Actually, Mexico compared to some countries we have driven in is quite calm and safe. The drivers here usually show a lot of restraint, even when stuck behind the infamous Doble Remolque which is a ridiculously long tractor-trailer. Yes, we have them in the US, especially the western states, but in Mexico the double trailers and even the triple trailers go almost everywhere a scooter will try to go. Also, there are many mountainous two-laned roads around here that are a challenge for a new Porsche. There is a stretch of road called El Espinoza del Diablo (the Devil´s Spine!) that lives up to its name. The big rigs on these roads sometimes clip along at a donkey pace- no exaggeration. And that´s not a donkey in any hurry either. I tried going at a dog´s pace, but Giselle started to get a little green, so I slowed back down to hobbling goat.

Another very exciting aspect of driving here is the “tope.” Otherwise known as a speed bump, topes can catch you by surprise because they are the most common form of speed control on every road except the toll roads. The roads here are usually in excellent condition, often better than in the US (remember we live in DC), but the topes knock driveability down a few notches. A tope can be anything from a gentle lump of asphalt stretching across the road. These topes say, “Excuse me kind driver, perhaps you might consider reducing your velocity. Remember, there are children about. Thank you, and have a nice day.” There are other topes with bad attitudes. These topes are like the waiters who spit in your food if you ask them for more water. When you drive over these topes, even at the aforementioned donkey pace, the tope says, “Look here mo-fo, I am going to rip your transmission a new hole, and there is not a dang thing you are going to do about it. By the way, I hope you have a terrible day. Now get out of here and don´t come back…ever… or else.” Another interesting aspect of topology is that often, when you slow down for these lumps people on the side of the road come up to your car to sell things. Many things. We have seen all varieties of fruit, clothing, unrecognizable things, big things, small things- you get the idea. Never let it be said that the people of Mexico are not industrious. It seems like all market niches have been covered; at least on the side of the road.

Concentration is the name of the game. On Eisenhower´s interstate highways back home you can often take catnaps with little consequence. (Dear Insurance Company, please disregard last comment). Here, I blink with my right eye and then my left eye. I have hit a few topes at over 25 mph and it is not a happy feeling for passengers or vehicles. In addition to topes there are animals of every variety using the highway as a barnyard. No kidding, we have seen every one of Old MacDonald´s menagerie out there on the pavement. Note: cow big.

There is also a lack of sidewalks outside of cities. People who live in the villages along the roads have no choice of how to get around. Most of them are not hopping in their Camrys, so they have to walk along the roadside. There is usually not a lot of space for such activity. There is the center line, your lane, the line on the edge of your lane and then about three and a half inches for a person to walk. Going to school kid? Hit the highway. Going to market? Highway. Going to wherever. Highway.

The mix of huge trucks, roaming animals, hapless pedestrians, killer topes, and vomit-inducing curves keeps a driver on his or her toes. My favorite passenger clutches the sides of her seat, stares straight ahead, lets out the occasional scream and tries to avoid puking into her Sudoku puzzle. I think she has finished one in 5,000 miles.

Here’s the pyramid known as El Castillo at Chichen Itza.

We brought a laptop with us to manage the huge volume of photos we anticipated. After only a short time on the road it has bitten the dust. We were in Tulum, which is along the Caribbean cost, when we bit the bullet and paid someone who actually knew something about computers. Eric is an expat Canadian originally from Ontario. He has a dive shop in Xcalak (be careful when you try to say that) which he is selling because now that he has kids he needs a place with a little more infrastructure, thus the metropolitan Tulum area is his territory. Anyway, after standing around the computer for a couple of hours with several ups (yeah, it works!) and more downs (if I ever see that Bill Gates guy on the street by himself) I came to the conclusion that painting in watercolors would be a better way to capture the visuals of our trip. Unfortunately, I am not much of an artist, so we will have to figure something else out.

Even with the blue screen of death lurking on our laptop, Mexico is a fabulous place. We just spent a few days at the beach and relaxing in basically a very nice shack with hot running water and mosquito netting. That is Tulum when you add in a clear blue-green ocean and beautiful sunrises. Also, for some reason, they have terrific pizza there too. Lots of Italians. Go figure.

Today we drove from Tulum back to our favorite jungle hangout, Panchan sur Palenque. The drive was exciting as driving down here can be, but fairly uneventful. The only real excitement was at the military checkpoint where they brought out a drug-sniffing dog to give our vehicle the once over. Maybe I was too emphatic when the guy asked me if we had any drugs. He let El Rover run all around inside our truck and he kept trying to convince the dog there were drugs in there. Dude, the dog said there was nothing there! The military guys have without exception been professional and reasonably friendly. I even made a deal with one of them that if we passed through Mexico I would sell him the truck. I am not sure what kind of price he expects.

Not one of them said, “Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.” So much for old stereotypes.

The Explorer is holding its own. Thank goodness Bill Gates doesn’t make cars. It seems that Ford is a good choice so far. In Mexico they are quite popular. Also, we have seen a smattering of vehicles with U.S. plates.

Tomorrow we continue south to some more ruins at Bonampak and then to the border with Guatemala. We’ll see how that goes.

Experiencing minor technical difficulties. Please stand by for more pictures and stories. We are in Tulum, on the Caribbean coast. We’ll be heading south and then inland to cross the border into Guatemala.

Meanwhile, in recent days we’ve visited the city of Merida and ruins galore. One of the things we did in Merida was visit El Diario de Yucatan (newspaper). We were very warmly received by the staff. They wrote an article about us:
Click here to see it.

Also heard a wonderful concert of trova music for free! Love Mexico.

Went to Palenque today (Nov. 21). Wowee!

This is a city of Mayan ruins in the middle of the jungle. There were a lot of German tourists there, as most places. So, how did we get pictures with so few people in them? It’s all in the timing. You just wait until the schnitzel cart pulls into the parking lot and then you have the place to yourself.

Nice setting. The guide book refers to a “Crazy Count” who took up residence in one of the buildings in the middle of the 19th century. How is that crazy?

We were relieved to have sun after a full night of heavy rain. But man, it was humid.
Remember, it is not the heat.

We’re not staying in Palenque town but in a hippie enclave called Panchan, in the middle of the jungle. It’s quite interesting. There’s a vegan restaurant run by tattooed, dreadlocked chicks and an Italian place with a wood-fired oven to make incredibly delicious pizza. We’re talking 2 Amys quality. Yep, we drove all the way to Mexico for Italian food. In the jungle.

OK, moving right along. We made it to Oaxaca on the night of the 16th. The last few miles in the pitch black surroundings on hairpin turns sure were fun.

Oaxaca has a big art scene. Lots of art galleries, and local art is hanging on the walls of all the cafes, restaurants and bars. I liked it.

The morning of the 18th we heard a brass band playing. It was so loud, it sounded like it was in the next room. Turns out it was in the next block. The 20th is Revolution Day in Mexico, but for some reason they were having a children´s parade celebrating the holiday on the 18th. Hundreds of kids, ages about 3-7, were dressed up like Pancho Villa, mustaches and bandoliers included. (The girls lacked mustaches, but they did wear bandoliers over their frilly long skirts and white peasant blouses.) Brass bands played in between the different school groups marching. Now that´s entertainment.

Next we went to visit the nearby Zapotec site of Monte Alban — more pyramids! I love them pyramids. Alas, our camera´s memory card went boom and erased all of our pictures from that day. We replaced the card but didn´t have the energy to climb back up all of the pyramids again. Just took ground level shots. Maybe next time.

From Oaxaca we went to Juchitan, an ugly, windy, dusty, miserable excuse of a town with the only appeal of being halfway to our next destination. We try not to drive at night, so we picked this place out as being a convenient stopover. Funny thing, when the town is nasty, the prices of hotels go up. I guess they know that you are not going anywhere else, so, ha-ha, they got you.

Then to Zapatista country. We stayed in the town of San Cristobal de las Casas in the house of Sub-Comandante Marcos. He was a great host, despite all of the rhetoric about revolution- blah, blah, blah. But seriously, it was interesting to be in a place that was a focal point of recent revolution. The idea of organizing peasants, who clearly live in difficult conditions i.e., no electricity, running water, or even sidewalks for crying out loud, seems very logical. I can not talk more about this intelligently, suffice to say they have been marginalized at least since the time of coffee plantations; that is, at least according to the coffee museum which was more about the socio-economics of the bean than about tasting a good cup of joe. They were taken advantage of by the growers and coffee middlemen who made buckets of money. Not that there is anything wrong with making buckets of money, just spread it around a little if you do not want a revolution. Strange that there were celebrations of the November 20 revolution by Zapata and company, but the Mexican government gets all uptight when someone else takes the same page from the book.

Today is Saturday, Nov. 19, but the last thing we wrote about happened on the 15th. That night we went to hot & steamy Veracruz, a port city on the Gulf of Mexico. Took a lovely evening walk along the Malecon (seafront) and had dinner at a sidewalk cafe there. After dinner, we went to the main town square (zocalo), where an orchestra was performing as townspeople danced the Danzon. It was a pleasure to watch them while eating ice cream that warm night.

The next morning, the 16th, we had cafe lechero at the Gran Cafe de la Parroquia, famous throughout Mexico for its fabulous coffee. (Thanks for the tip, Bert!) The waiter brings you a glass about a third full of coffee. Then you summon the milk guy by tapping your spoon on the glass. The white-coated milk guy brings a steaming kettle and pours it high above your table into your glass without spilling. Yummy coffee, plus a show. What more could you want?

Oh, I know. Chilaquiles without chicken! Why do they sometimes contain chicken and sometimes not? Warning, vegetarians, always ask BEFORE ordering. Sopa Azteca sometimes is vegetarian and sometimes contains gloppy globs of fatty bacon!

So we headed for Oaxaca. Warning: do NOT go on route 175 without dramamine! It twists, turns, pitches and yaws for 5 hours without a gas station in sight. (Dan narrating here:) Genius boy driver, who said “Aw, there´s gas stations every 10 feet in this country” decided to go fill up on the other side of the hill. The hill turned out to be about 100 miles long, and there was much sweating on brainiac’s part as he rolled down the other side of the mountain in neutral to save gas. We made it, though, and there was probably a good 3 spits left in the tank. Now I fill up every 10 feet, whether I need it or not.

More later…

On Tues., Nov. 15, we went to the ancient Totonac city of El Tajin and saw a bunch of cool pyramids like this one.

We also watched a performance by the voladores, men who spin around a pole suspended by ropes while hanging upside down! They spin slower than you think, as a musician plays the flute and drum (yes, both) from the very top of the pole.

There are some crazy things happening in the jungle around the hill town of Xilitla, which we visited Nov. 14. This guy named Edward James had some time on his hands and built many surreal structures that have rightfully been compared to MC Escher works. I am not sure who was first, but it is a lot of fun to walk through these concrete artworks.

After leaving Mrs. Higgins, we headed to Austin, TX to visit a friend we have known since we were 12. We stayed with him and his family for a couple of days before hitting the road to Mexico.

We crossed the border at Brownsville/Matamoros. If you ever get the chance to stay in Matamoros, do not. The guide book says it is the most charming of border towns, and that says a lot about the other borders.

From there we headed south to Xilitla on the 13th. As soon as possible we will post a picture of something surprising we saw there in the highland jungle.

The next day we drove to Papantla, which is the 1986 winner of Funniest Town Name in All of Mexico. Actually, it is close to the Mayan ruins in Tajin. They have been carefully excavated and has a manageable museum.

Right now we are in Veracruz, which is a surprisingly beautiful sea port. We are not sure where we will go from here, but we will head in the direction of the Yucatan. Merida is probably on the way.

Ok, now that I have gotten itinerary out of the way, let me tell you a little story about driving here. We knew from previous foolishness on my part (Dan here), that it is surprisingly easy to get tragically lost. This includes walking or driving. Driving in Latin America is often a challenge for anyone who relies on road signs or maps to find his way. Hey Honey, let’s take a road trip! Maybe that is up there with “Oh, that is just a big friendly bear, like Yogi, except he’s not wearing pants.” Well, Giselle is a sport and she proved that yesterday. Mexico has different levels of roads- on the map red and yellow is a toll road on par with the Autobahn; really. Red and white is a fast highway, just like in the US. Red is a two-lane road in good condition with traffic going along between 50 and 60 mph. Thick yellow is a local road with rough patches and you travel about 20 mph. Thin yellow is very local and has the most chickens, speed bumps, potholes, dogs sleeping in the middle!, washouts, etc. It can be very Mad Max with rough looking vehicles. And then, there are the roads which do not appear on the usually complete Guia Roja map book. These are the “streets with no names” that U2 sings about. At least that was what was playing on our radio as we passed through the last town on the map. In the town of Huejutla there are about 4 different roads leading out of town. The one we chose went from red, to thick yellow, to thin yellow, to not on the map at all. No names, no pavement. No good. We bounced along for about 30 minutes. Softball-sized rocks clunked around the undercarriage. I plodded along, mindful of the hole I put in a gas tank once. By the way, stay away from a certain Ford Taurus available for rental from Hertz in Texas. At this point Giselle asks if I think this is the right way. I tell her I don’t remember from the last time I was there; that’s my standard unfunny joke. Our choice: turn around for 30 more minutes of severe abuse, of push forward and hope for a velvet covered lane ahead. After about, oh, two hours later it really started to look bad. We stopped to ask locals about where we were and if they knew how to get to our the closest town actually on the map. How can there be soooo many towns not on a map? While they were friendly, they weren’t so helpful. One guy rattled off the names of a bunch of towns; not one of them on the map, of course. Our trusty Radio Shack compass guided us in the general direction and after about another hour and a half of guessing and loosening fillings, we finally hit asphalt. Yippee!

Wed. Nov. 9

Richard, a classmate from our ballroom dance class, recommended that we stay with his mother in Louisiana. So we did. Mrs. Higgins kindly took us in, chatted with us and even made us breakfast. It was a pleasure to have met this charming and generous woman.