The Brel Chronicles

(Jack is Mel´s 4 year-old nephew)

Hi Jack!

You would have loved the Amazon!  We saw all sorts of frogs: poison-dart frogs, tree frogs, glass frogs and a bunch I don´t remember the names of. We thought you might enjoy the photos.  See you soon! Love you!

Getting to La Selva Lodge (www.laselvajunglelodge.com) isn´t easy: the journey begins with a flight from Quito, followed by a 2.5 hour ride in a motorized dug-out canoe along the Napo River, a 30 minute hike through the dense Amazon rainforest, and finally, a paddled canoe ride across a lagoon.

Just a few hours into our stay, we knew it had all been worthwhile. We´d already spotted 4 kinds of monkeys, seen a toe-toed sloth up close, and added the hoatzin to our birding life lists-a proud feat by any birder´s standards.

While neither of us were thrilled with the 5:30 am wake-up calls, the early morning nature viewing and night paddles were incredible: 57 new birds identified including 6 owls (Mel has been trying to see owls for 5 months now); 7 types of new monkey species; tarantulas, frogs, mariposas, lizards…..

We´ve clearly made significant progress on Operation Bird Discovery, Phase 3, and predict this may be our most successful venture yet.

Our lodge, an “upmarket rainforest eco-resort” felt like home – that is, if home was a groovy palapa and bamboo hut set amidst the wild and unpredictable Amazon rainforest.

Note to Mel´s parents: You´ll be pleased to know that Brendan made me wear a lifejacket all the time. But I´m pretty sure the piranha would have got me first. And no, I didn´t get malaria.

In a country with as much history as Ecuador, it seemed only right for Brel to spend the night in the oldest hacienda, 400 year-old La Guachala.

Amidst our antique furniture, we easily slipped into the roles of the pioneers. Brendan built us a fire. Mel considered baking some bread. And oh yea, we watched movies on the laptop because it was too cold to go outside. We´re pretty sure the pioneers would have done the same thing though, had it been an option.

No visit to Ecuador would be complete without a visit to the place where the middle of the world was declared, in 1736 . The equator, the widest part of the world, crosses only 7 countries.

The museum at the Mitad del Mundo strives to prove the power of the equator, through a bunch of experiments. Yes, the Coriolis Effect makes water run counter clockwise in the  northern hemisphere, and clockwise in the southern hemisphere, and straight down on the equator. Yes, centrifugal forces at the equator allow you to easily balance an egg on a nail (we have the certificates to prove it!). And best of all, yes you do weigh less at the equator…at last, a workable solution for the Brel travel weight gain!

Our only equator disappointment was in the weather…while the sun does shine directly down (i.e. no shadows), the 2,800 metre altitude means it´s still pretty darn cold.  

We find ourselves in Otavalo, Ecuador, home to South America´s largest outdoor market. I should have anticipated this would be trouble.  

Lessons learned:

 1. Markets are a lot of fun. I actually hyperventilated a little when I saw it.

2. Bargaining makes me feel good. It doesn´t matter if I only save $1 on a $30 item- the thrill of winning is pretty fine.

3. Avoid the hammock and table cloth people at all costs. And it´s a good idea to learn how to say – ¨I don´t even have a house, let alone a table¨, in Spanish.

4. Think of a good story for crossing the Canadian border. It´s quite possible that Canada Customs will assume I am in the alpaca importing business.

5. When you can no longer carry what you´re buying, you should probably stop. Dumping your stuff at the hotel and going back can be an expensive idea.

With our tour of South America almost over, we will be in Toronto from June 15 – 20, before heading off to Turkey.

We´d invite you all for a BBQ were it not for the fact that we are homeless. We´re hoping that perhaps one of our dear friends will volunteer to host? Mel is happy to do the cooking. Shameless, we know.

So mark Thursday, June 19th on your calendars. (That date, coincidentally, will be the Brel 2-year anniversary. So whatever we do, a beer at the Foggy Dew is required.)

It´s high time Brel spent some time apart. And with Brendan writing away and working hard to meet deadlines, I ventured into the Ecuadorian cloudforest for the weekend. Two hours from Quito (the capital and largest city in Ecuador) lies a beautiful, mostly untouched cloudforest. And you get to cross the equator 3 times on your way there, which is kind of cool.

Staying at an extremely remote eco-lodge 2,200 metres from sea level, I  added some great birds to to my collection: new trogons, a multi-colored toucan, and a whole array of hummigbirds. Can´t wait for the birding in the Amazon and the Galapagos Islands…and of course, having my birding companion with me…Brendan really is a good spotter…

We are in the midst of planning the third and final leg of our adventure and would love your thoughts if you´ve been to any of the countires on our itinerary. We´ve changed our plans considerably (yay Africa! see you next time Spain and Portugal!). Below, the current plan:

Turkey – looking for Istanbul and Turquoise Coast ideas
Greece – sailing through the traditional islands, but looking for original island options?
Italy – Rome, Naples and Tuscany – looking to road trip through Tuscany, affordably
Africa – South Africa, Namibia, Botsawana and ??
Morocco – looking for Marrakesh ideas

And of course if any of you are planning to be in any of the above countries, please let us know….we always welcome a break in the Brel Party of Two.

Please feel free to use the Comments feature of our blog, our email us directly…..

With over 1,000 wineries, Mendoza really is a wine lovers´paradise. And with only one week to explore, you can imagine the pressure Brel was feeling to sample as many as possible. While our livers may take some time to recover, we really did try our best. Below, our favourite picks:

Trapiche – Fond de Cave
Luigi Bosca* – Malbec Reserva and La Linda
Norton Classico
Ruca Malen–  Kinen¨Malbec 04 and Petit Verdot 06
Punto Final* – Malbec, Reserva and Enamore
Carmello Patti* – Cab Sauvignon, Malbec and Gran Assemblage

And so with a final bottle of Malbec, we bid Adieu to Argentina.
Now you can cry for me.

* They tell us these are available at the LCBO

“Wine tasting is the sensory examination and evaluation of wine. There are five basic steps in tasting wine: color, swirl, smell, taste, and savour. Essentially, a taster is looking for clarity, varietal character, integration, expressiveness, complexity, and connectedness.”

Brel: “Can we have a refill, please?”

We all know some people take tasting to an extreme level. Despite the number of wineries we’ve visited, it all seems a bit pretentious – even for Brendan. Below, Brel tasting notes, as overheard at a recent tasting: 

Mel: “Ugh, I don’t love that.”
Connoisseur Translation: Full bodied, peppery, bold, with hints of spice. 

Mel: “Yeah I could drink a bottle of that.”
Connosseur Translation: Smooth, fruity, yet light on the palate.  

Brel: “We could serve this to our friends. In a decanter. After 1 a.m.”
Connoisseur Translation: Cheap, cheap, cheap. 

Mel: “This one, I like.”
Brendan: “Uh Mel, you’re drinking the spittoon.” 

Mel: “I taste wine. Nothing but wine.”
Connoisseur Translation: Dark, smoky with hints of berries, vanilla and oak. 

Brendan: “Dry on the palate with notes of chocolate…”
Mel: “Chocolate? Did you say chocolate?” 

Wine Connoisseur: “A perfect accompaniment to poultry, pasta and seafood.”
Brel: “We could totally drink this for breakfast.” 

Wine Connoisseur: “Enhances the flavours of red meats, spicy foods and chocolate.”B
Brel: “The perfect chaser for 5 pints of Tankhouse, 2 jello shots and a Roger Moore.” 

P.S. We actually wrote this on our 4^th winery visit, on a tasting placemat. Don’t worry, we’ve taken real notes too and will be posting a guide to great Argentine wines soon.  

 

Sorry Chile…our hearts are still in Argentina, so we´ve returned to spend some time in Mendoza, a.k.a. Argentine wine country.

Moments We´d Rather Forget…

• How much we made everyone worry that we were too close to the erupting volcano
• The sticker shock – especially after a month in Argentina
• How North American it all seemed…

Highlights…

• The views in the Chilean Lake District 
• Showing off our salsa moves at Havana Salsa
• Walking through the vineyards and sampling wine
• Avocado a.k.a. palta

Memorable Quotes…

• “It´s awfully chilly in Chile.” (Mel)
• “I’m chillin’ in Chile.” (sadly, also Mel)

This is a bad time of year to visit Santiago. Surrounded by the Andes, it’s kind of like a cesspool of pollution. The air is thick and nasty and you can’t actually see the mountains. Apparently there’s a thermal inversion here – a phenomenon whereby a stable layer of warm air holds down colder air close to the ground and causes high levels of smog and pollution to concentrate in the valley. Call it what you want Wikipedia, it’s still kind of gross.

Santiago is home to a lot vineyards, and we visit Concha y Toro, makers of the world-famous Casillero del Diablo. We’re in Cabernet Sauvignon land now, and our livers are co-operating nicely. Chile is also home to a lot of salsa clubs, and we’re surprised to find that we actually remember some of the moves we learned in Costa Rica.

As Chile is the world’s 2nd largest exporter of salmon, fish and seafood are everywhere. B is in food heaven. Mel is eating a lot of chicken.

Not sure we love Santiago. Well at least not at this time of year.

We´ve crossed the Andes and entered Chile at a most interesting time – the Chaiten volcano is erupting for the first time in over 9,000 years and it´s all over the international news. The smoke and ash is being blown 12 miles into the sky, and it´s quite a sight. While there are 2,000 volcanos in Chile, 70 of which are currently considered active, the area hasn´t seen activity like Chaiten in recent memory.

We are staying in Puerto Varas, and aren´t actually that far from the volcano – just over 200 km away in fact. Chaiten residents are being evacuated to Puerto Montt, just 20 km away.

The volcano we have come here to see – Osorno – is historically one of the most active in Chile.  At 8,701 feet, Osorno´s perfect conical shape is easily recognizable – and the snow-capped mountains surrounding it are impressive. Thankfully, it hasn’t erupted since 1869, so you won´t be seeing us on CNN anytime soon.

By The Numbers

• Number of Purchases:
  • Leather purses: 7
  • Leather jackets: 5
  • Shoes and boots: 7
• Number of animals who gave their lives for our purchases (including a guanaco): uh, not really sure we want to know this
• Number of days the Toronto weather forecast was better than the Argentina forecast: at least 9
• Bottles of wine consumed: ok, we don’t really want to go here either
• Number of consecutive days of beef consumption (Mel): 13
• Percentage of days we went to the gym: 0%

Moments We’d Rather Forget

• Living beef-free our first week in BA
• Trying to escape the smoke caused by the burning fields
• Mel’s desperation for a taste from home: it’s amazing the lengths some people will go to for romaine lettuce, bacon and cheddar cheese
• Fighting with our internet connection on an hourly basis
• Mel’s repeated altitude problems at 1,100 metres
• Too many Andean markets in Salta
• Actually reaching the limit and not being able to consume prosciutto or wine (just for a few days)

Highlights

• Living a semi-normal existence in an apartment and not having to pack/unpack all the time
• Riding horses and staying at a ranch in Salta
• The food: filet mignon, home-made ravioli, empanadas and thin-crust pizza
• Finding some non-Argentinian restaurants for a break from all that beef: thanks Green Bamboo, Moishi Moishi and Kansas
• Soaring high in the sky in La Cumbre
• The Malbec wines: Fond de Cave, La Linda, Luigi Bosca and the $3 Norton Classic
• Mel correcting Brendan on his Spanish pronunciation – and actually learning how to form sentences in Spanish
• Finally understanding Brendan’s obsession with llamas
• The views, the chocolate, the beer in Bariloche
• Actually coming in $25 under budget after a month of good living

Memorable Quotes

• “All the ugly girls go home after the third beer. “(Peter)
• “It wouldn´t be Brel if there weren´t some homicidal thoughts every now and again.” (Leith)
• “Do they sell ferrets at the ferreteria?”  (Sam)
• “I have found out that there ain´t no surer way to find out whether or not you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” (Brel quoting Mark Twain)
• “Chile is the skinniest country in the whole world!” (Jack Kirwan, 4 yrs. old)

Bariloche, in northern Patagonia, Argentina, is home to more than 50 artesan chocolate shops and over a dozen microbreweries.

How do you spell Brel heaven? B-A-R-I-L-O-C-H-E.

Set amidst the Andes, Bariloche is also a world-reknowned ski destination. Though it isn´t ski season yet, the mountains are snow-capped and it´s -2 degrees Celsius. We´ve clearly left our bikinis and Havaianas behind, and for the first time in a long time, are longing for Canadian weather. Is the Foggy Dew patio open yet?

Bariloche is a great town with a great vibe, and deserves a much longer visit than we have planned. The chocolate shops provide free samples, the micro-brew is $2, and fondue is served everywhere. We love fondue. And chocolate. And beer, of course.

And for those of you who caught the Homer Simpson quote in this blog´s title, here´s the link to that famous scene where Homer visits the Land of Chocolate…an inspiration to us all…

You know Mel is the one writing this blog when this photo actually makes it onto the site. I just can´t help laughing out loud every time I see it…do I actually date this person?

Of course this photo begs the question…is this the worst photo of Brendan EVER? I´d love to receive your submissions for a future post… pichemelanie@hotmail.com. 

Gaining an understanding of Argentina means more than just hanging out in trendy restaurants and binging on beef and wine in Buenos Aires. (Not that there´s anything wrong with that.)

And so we journeyed to the province of Salta, way up north near the Bolivian border and encountered an Argentina we hadn´t yet seen . We traveled north along an Inca Road to Humahuaca, through Indian villages, andean markets and old-school cemetaries. We went south to Cafayate, and gawked at the colourful rock formations caused by millions of years of erosion. And of course, we visited the wineries and sampled Torrontes, the white wine Cafayate is famous for. Did I mention the llamas? They were everywhere.

Back in Salta, we checked out the world´s best preserved mummy – a child sacrificed to the Apus (sacred mountain gods) in the 15th century. A little freaky, but cool.

We clearly have only just begun to scratch the surface of Argentina. Next stop: Bariloche.

An open letter to Ted Rogers:

 One would think that being out of the country for 4 months would translate to fewer issues with you, the cable and internet provider from hell. I’m sure you understand our surprise then, to find out that our Rogers woes continue. It seems you have misplaced our PVR and decided to charge $700 to our Visa until WE can prove to you that we returned it. And to add insult to injury, you’ve now decided to send our account to collections for a new, mystery $279 bill you say we haven’t paid – despite the automatic credit card payments you have been taking from us for the last 10 years.  

Rogers, allow us to remind you: we have no house. We have no cable TV or internet. In fact, we don’t even have an address. Enough already! 

And by the way, did you teach your business practices to Primus? If so, you’ll be pleased to know that they too are still looking for our VOIP gateway, which we also returned. Rogers and Primus: you suck.  

P.S. Ted – we know where you live. The UCC boys were the ones throwing all those cigarette butts on your lawn in the late 80’s.

We are going to Grooooove Armada! Right now!! In Buenos Aires!

 Wicked.

Since the City Slickers movies of the early 90’s, Mel has dreamed of staying at a working dude ranch – learning to ride while living the cowboy life. (Surely this is coincidental to her ongoing attraction to men in cowboy hats and boots). What better place to experience this, than in Northern Argentina, home of the Argentinian cowboy, the gaucho? 

We are spending the weekend at Sayta (www.sayta.com.ar), an authentic estancia (or dude ranch in North American terms). Sayta is about an hour’s drive from the city of Salta, which itself is a 22-hour bus ride (or 2.5 hour flight in the Brel world), from Buenos Aires. Our estancia is everything we could want and more – gauchos in chaps chewing coca leaves, random chickens and geese running about, legends and myths, a tobacco plantation and a pasture of gorgeous horses. 

Our host, Enrique, is a hard-core gaucho – think Curly but with an incredible positive energy and spirit – the kind of guy who makes you instantly feel like you’ve been friends for years. His hosting style is one Brel can appreciate – bottomless glasses of wine, copious amounts of home-cooked food and a sense of humour second-to-none. Our lunches are cooked on a huge outdoor asado – endless, perfectly grilled meats arrive at our table for what seems like (and probably is) hours. Enrique goes to great effort to make sure we feel we are truly guests in his home. For dinner, we join him in his kitchen. We are served (and sometimes force-fed) beautiful Salteño wines until late into the night. In the afternoons, we join Enrique and his friends for mate. 

Riding is obviously a big part of staying at Sayta – there are morning and afternoon rides, through trails, up streams or into the mountains. Our delicate bottoms, too accustomed to our recent life of leisure, protest after every ride. 

We won’t soon forget our stay at Sayta. Enrique and his team have given us a welcomed sneak-peak into the world of the gaucho. Gracias! 

No, that wasn´t just to get your attention.

We are spending the next month in wine country – Bariloche, the Maipo Valley and Mendoza.  So as you can imagine, we don´t want our love affair with Argentinian wines to end.

We know we can´t just ship wine to Canada, because our wonderful country and it´s wonderful liquor control laws won´t allow it. The question is…if we ship it, what´s the worse that can happen? How much duty-taxes-penalties might we have to pay? There will be  3-4 weeks between the time we would ship it and the time we return to Canada.

One case of Malbec to the first reader to solve our dilemma…and our life-long gratitude…or gratitude for at least as long as the wine lasts. 

Thanks!

While it may seem like our trip is all fun and games (and it is, mostly), Mel has been taking private Spanish lessons (3 hours/day) for the past few weeks. Well beyond telling time and counting, she can now form entire sentences – in the present AND past tense! And her vocabulary, while still pretty basic, has moved well beyond fruits and basic introductions. Her teacher Celeste (are all Spanish teachers hot? Rosa?) has also worked hard to teach her Argentinian slang – much to the dismay of Papi. Muy copado! In the spirit of doing my homework while blogging, here’s a summary of my weekend in Spanish – sorry to all Spanish speakers, my keyboard is turned to English.  English translation to follow.

En español…

Despues de mi clase de español, mi novio y yo cenamos en Club Eros. Fuimos a la terminal de omnibus, pero el collectivo se canceló por el humo. El dia siguiente, yo caminé por Palermo y mi novio trabajó en casa. Esa noche, nosotros fuimos otra vez a la terminal. Doce horas mas tarde, llegamos a Cordoba. Brendan olvidó su carnet de conducir. Yo estuvé enojada. Nosotros dormimos en Villa Benitz – muy linda!  Caminamos por el Camino de los Artensanos. Comimos una tabla de quesos y fiambres y una botella de vino Malbec. Despues, fuimos a Juku y bebimos la cerveza casera y comimos una fondue. El domingo, fuimos a hacer parapente. El mirador es muy bonito. Caminamos por La Cumbre y yo practiqué español con los dueños de la Casa de Chocolates. Yo compré los chocolates. Requisimo! El lunes, alquilamos un taxi, pero las estancias estuvieron cerradas. Nosotros volvimos a Buenos Aires en collectivo. 

In English…

After my Spanish class, my boyfriend and I had dinner at Club Eros. We went to the bus station but our bus was cancelled because of the smoke from the burning fields. The next day, I went shopping while Brendan worked. Friday night, we once again went to the bus station. Twelve hours later, we arrived in Cordoba. Brendan forgot his driver’s license in Buenos Aires, so our road trip became a bus/taxi/walking trip. I was not pleased with him. We stayed at Villa Benitz – very beautiful! We walked along Caminos del Artisanos. . We had a cheese and meat platter and a bottle of wine at Zagreo – delicious! Later, we went to a micro-brewery and drank beer and ate fondue. On Sunday, we went paragliding. The scenery was beautiful. We walked around La Cumbre and I practiced Spanish with the people at the Chocolate House. I also bought some chocolates. Delicious! On Monday, we rented a taxi but the estancias were closed. We returned to Buenos Aires by bus.

With two years of dating behind us, and this many months of intensive dating via travelling, it was only a matter of time before we would start to become each other.  Yes, groan away, we’re going to give details. Ways in which Brendan has been Pichefied:

• Has made a habit of turning sound effects into words. For example: “We went woosh down the slide.” Sorry UCC, guess a good private school education only lasts until your Old Boys meet a girl from Espanola.
• Tends to anthropormorphize everything. Words like “it” and “that” are no longer necessary when everything is “him” and “that guy.”
• Brendan now nags Mel about cleaning, doing the laundry and doing the dishes. [Although it seems to have no effect – B] Albeit grudgingly, has also been known to clean the toilet immediately after use– in a hotel.
• Working for a living. For real. Writing, making money and having a BOSS.
• Increased stubbornness and pig-headedness are witnessed on a regular basis.

 Ways in which Mel has been Powelled:

• Hang-gliding, para-gliding, caving – need we say more?
• Eating eggs no longer considered extreme eating. Random and local foods are now a part of regular diet.
• Knows the meaning of the word “anthropomorphize.”
• Employment now considered optional. Living in a foreign country on Canadian currency starting to seem like a reasonable idea.
• 10 o’clock wake-ups – completely normal.
• Increased stubbornness and pig-headedness are witnessed on a regular basis.

 And so, if you ever wonder if Brel really exists, trust us – in scary and disturbing ways, Brel is alive and well. 

We find ourselves in La Cumbre, a posh town in the northern part of the province of Cordoba, about 800 km from Buenos Aires. Known as a groovy, artsy town, La Cumbre is world-famous for one thing – paragliding. In fact, they recently hosted the paragliding World Championships.

Still high from our hang gliding experiences in Rio, we confidently donned our paragliding gear and ran off the 330+ metre cliff. Sailing high above the ground, we saw the world (and valleys and rivers) as only the birds do.

Note to Mel’s parents: Mel is actually doing this voluntarily, I swear. I promise I am taking good care of her and will return her intact. -Brendan

1. Unpacking your bags once and settling down for a month: brilliant.

2. Don’t mess with the farmers. See previous blogs on beef strike and field burning.

3. You can never buy too many leather coats, boats or handbags. At 1/3 the price and at higher quality and design than back home, it’s really just a matter of how much you can sneak past the Customs people when shipping them home.

4. Alfajores are an acquired taste. These chocolate-covered sandwich treats (think really dry Joe Louis) are a national obsession, yet despite repeated attempts, we haven’t quite developed a taste for them.

5. Overnight, long-distance buses in Argentina rock – imagine fully reclining seat-beds, hot meals and wine service. Local buses – still suck.

6. It is possible to drown in wine. With so many fabulous bottles of vino (Malbec is the speciality), at ridiculously affordable prices, wine with every meal is standard. At least in the Brel world. Oh, and the $1 bottle of wine – not really worth it. The $3 bottle of wine – superb!

7. Blogging about joining a gym and then never actually going – not such a great idea.

8. There’s nothing wrong with a little dulce de leche at every meal. Argentinians put this version of caramel on everything – and so does Mel. It’s also good straight from the jar.

9. Champagne isn’t just for celebrations anymore. Think breakfast – and not just as part of a wimpy mimosa.

10. Mel wants to move to Buenos Aires. Desperately.

The literal translation of Buenos Aires is Good Airs, which is kind of ironic given what’s going on right now. The farmers, having recently given up their plight to restrict beef in Buenos Aires, have taken to burning fields. This essentially translates to thick smoke everywhere. As in the kind of smoke that burns your eyes and throat and causes highways to be closed.

The lowdown on what’s happening politically: Soy is the most lucrative agricultural product right now. The government introduced a new 30%+ tax on soy exports to discourage farmers from abandoning their old crops. The government’s position is that they are trying to protect jobs by ensuring diversification of the crops here. And the farmers, understandably, are looking to make as good a living for themselves as possible.

So we’ve moved on from pitying our lack of beef to hiding indoors, unable to leave the city for our scheduled trip to Cordoba. And don’t even talk to Mel about the 3 million chicks that had to be drowned because the farmers are restricting feed.

But…we still love Buenos Aires and Argentina…

I realize that as an animal lover, I’m supposed to be anti-zoo. But I’m not afraid to admit it: I normally really, really like them. 

The Buenos Aires Zoo, located in the heart of the city in Palermo is just a 10 minute walk from our condo. The zoo was built in the late 1800’s, back when zoos were purely for entertainment purposes, as opposed to their purported current goals of research, education and breeding.  

Walking through the gates, I’m initially impressed with the line-up of animals – 89 breeds, 350 animals, including elephants, lions, monkeys, zebras, a giraffe and a polar bear. The sounds of the city are just mere feet away and many of the area condos have views directly into the zoo. Wonder how much that adds to property value? 

Like in zoos all over the world, random local animals have decided to make their home at the zoo. But rather than pigeons, racoons and Canada geese, I am surrounded by beaver-like and tiny deer-like critters I can’t identify. Random giant birds are walking about everywhere. I’m quite excited.  

So there I am, snapping pics, when I start to realize that the caged animals don’t look particularly happy. OK, I always find elephants look sad, but it seems that at the BA Zoo, many of the animals are despondent, their little faces staring out at me with sheer desperation. Many of them are pacing back and forth. I find myself hoping that it’s feeding time – that must be the explanation for all this anxiety. 

The BA zoo has done their best to replicate original habitats for the animals – but they are extremely limited by space. 20 baboons live in a smallish cage. Monkeys are kept on a man-made island surrounded by water so that they don’t escape. Cool birds (yep, I still love them) are kept in cages no bigger than you’d see at a pet store. 

All in all, a heartbreaking day. Though I suppose it could have been worse – apparently a zoo outside the city sedates the lions so that you can have your picture taken with them…  

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog reading to bring you an important beef bulletin.

We’re not sure why, but there’s some sort of reprieve going on with the whole beef strike. No need to lose sleep on our behalf anymore: beef is back.

MOOOOre beef please!

Some of you may have noticed the repeat appearances of two scruffy and dishevelled 18 year olds in our photos over the last few months. Max and Ollie (or Bill and Ted as we affectionately re-named them – yes, from the movie), came into our lives on our sailing trip in Brazil, and through some odd stroke of coincidence, were also on our 17-day trip from Rio to Buenos Aires.  To fully grasp the entertainment value of Max and Ollie, you need to know a few things:

• They arrived in Rio for carnival and didn’t leave for 2 months. Somehow, they didn’t have time to see Christ the Redeemer or Sugar Mountain.
• They did laundry twice in two months. Seriously. We’re still trying to forget the smell of those infamous shoes.
• They survived on one meal per day (not including beers). One day, survived on one container of yogurt between the two of them.
• In a club in Uruguay, some random woman on the dance floor decided to brush their hair
• Shampoo, showers and sometimes deodorant: optional

 Max and Ollie: we love you guys. Safe travels back to England. We know you’ll make it back to Rio.

Buenos Aires is a vain city by any standards: 1 in 10 women have an eating disorder; 1 in 30 people (that’s people, not women) have had plastic surgery; stylishly dressed and perfectly preened people are everywhere. 

It should come as no surprise then, that within days of arriving here, Mel decided it was time for a radical change  – time to cut the long hair she’s been painfully growing out for the last 2 years.

 Lessons learned at an Argentina salon:

1. It takes guts to ask for short blond hair in a country where dark, long hair is the norm. There are only 5 blond shades to choose from. And no pictures of short hair in ANY of the magazines.
2. It helps to speak Spanish. While she likes the end result, the bangs were not intentional.
3. Cut and color at a high end Palermo salon – $35 US. Equivalent at Mel’s salon in Toronto: $250.

 All in all, we’re pleased with the results. Though of course, we’ll miss the pig tails which had become Mel’s signature look. 

And so, we’re acclimatizing to the vanity here – we’ve even joined a gym. We’ll report our progress at the end of the month – unless of course, we opt for beef and wine instead of spinning and pilates, which is very possible.

Tango is the soundtrack to Buenos Aires – whether it’s old school tango dancing in the streets, or the sounds of pop/rock songs that have been tango-ized, tango is everywhere. At once both seductive and aggressive, watching a couple tango is mesmerizing. 

And so, of course, we took on the brave (and looking back, perhaps stupid) challenge of learning to tango. We won’t lie – it wasn’t pretty. And don’t even ask Brendan to recount Mel’s attempts at the backwards through the legs kick – those memories hurt too much (and so does the victim of that the kick).  

Lesson learned: Mel, Brendan and the rest of humankind would really benefit from Brel sticking to salsa and meringue. Really. It wasn’t pretty.

One of the highlights of Argentina, as we learned from our travels here in 2006, is the beef. Unlike anything we can get at home, Argentinian beef literally melts in your mouth. And while you could piece the cow back together like a jigsaw puzzle at the table (they eat everything here, including bowels and glands), the tenderloin is second to none. 

You can imagine our disappointment to find out, soon after our arrival in Buenos Aires, that the FARMERS ARE ON STRIKE. And they have been for a month. This essentially translates to: NO BEEF. Well, almost none. 

Through our tears, pasta and pizza, we are praying for the strike to end. And Mel is seriously considering lending her HR skills to help make that happen.

At long last (sorry Brazil and Uruguay), we have arrived in Buenos Aires, the Paris of the Americas; the land of beef and wine, where history meets style and where thanks to a currency crisis, we can gorge on a filet mignon dinner for $5, and a good bottle of wine for $7.

 We’ve rented a condo for the month in trendy Palermo – a cool neighbourhood littered with restaurants, cafes and park areas.  After three months on the road, we’re more than ready for a break from sleeping in pousadas (guesthouses) and more than anxious to hang up our clothes and put away our packs. 

Buenos Aires feels like home – there’s just no other way to describe it.

We spent a quick four days exploring some of the highlights of Uruguay. While not enough time to do it justice, we were able to get a flavour.

By the Numbers
• # of bottles consumed of medio y medio (a fantastic concoction of ½ champagne and ½ white wine) : 4
• # of times Montevideo mispronounced: 18 (correct pronunciation: not video like a movie, but with stress on the final soft e)
• # of cockroaches spotted near Mel’s bag: 1
• # of times Brendan enjoyed Froots’ label of the Full Montevideo : 6

Moments We’d Rather Forget
• The random (RF 7) chocolate therapy service at the thermal baths in Salto. Complete with an alternating soundtrack of Spanish news and too-loud Celine Dion, the treatment involved being painted in chocolate by a large woman and wrapped in Saran wrap.

Highlights
• Walking through the cobblestone streets of beautiful Colonia – a quaint UNESCO World Heritage town
• Exploring the Old Town in Montevideo
• Chilling in 39 degree thermal baths in Salto
• The end of overnight bus travel, at least for a little while

By the Numbers

• Number of chicken bones swallowed: 1
• Number of times Brendan talked about his chicken bone: 42
• Number of beaches visited: too many to count
• Percentage of time spent sleeping while on a 22-hour bus ride: 60%
• Average price per kilo of food: $11 (lunch or dinner)
• Average daily temperature (excluding Paraty): 34 degrees
• Number of pairs of Havaianas purchased: 4 (total now owned: 12)
• Average price for a beer in a bar: $1.70
• Most expensive meal: $150 US – but worth it
• Least expensive meal: $6 US for two, including drinks – not really worth it

 Moments We’d Rather Forget

• Rain, rain and more rain in Paraty – both times we visited
• The 432^nd ham and cheese sandwich –no,  ham and cheese are NOT food groups
• Brendan discovering that he can’t eat mango without hours of stomach troubles – despite numerous stubborn attempts
• Mel’s chest cold and phlegm-iness

  Highlights

• The sights and sounds of Iguassu Falls
• Sailing out of the Rio harbour on the Tocorime
• The thrill of flying and seeing Rio from above
• Finally spotting dolphins – after countless hours and days spent on boats
• Surviving a frenzied motorcycle ride through a favela
• Mel highlight: beaches, beaches, and more beaches
• Brendan highlight: bikinis, bikinis and more bikinis
• Not gaining additional weight in Brazil – but not really losing the Belizean weight either

With 275 separate waterfalls and 23 kilometres of foaming water, Iguassu Falls is about as spectacular as it gets.  The falls lie on the border of Argentina and Brazil, so to truly see Iguassu, a visit to each country is pretty much mandatory. Despite horror-filled memories of jet boating in Niagara Falls (Mel), we decided to board a speedboat to go under the falls – and we do mean, under the falls.

Some of you may not know that there is actually more than one blog being written about this trip.

Since January, Brendan has been writing for a new travel website called Planet Eye, as their “Global Nomad.” The blog is a collection of travel tips, tricks and insights from an experienced traveller, and is completely free of pictures of Mel with flowers on her breasts.

One cool thing about Planet Eye is their mapping and geotagging technology, which is used in all website elements, from photos to reviews–all of it is placed on a clickable, zoomable world map, including any of our (particularly good) photos that have been uploaded to the site. Planet Eye has even supplied us with a GPS device that records where on earth we are at all times, and embeds the data in all our photos. Cool!

Check it out at Planet Eye.com

and of course, check out Brendan’s blog as the Global Nomad here.

Cachaca – Ever indulged in a caipirinha? Well it ain’t a capairinha without cachaca. Brazil’s answer to rum, cachaca is a sugar-cane liquor that basically goes down like burning gasoline – even when flavoured with lovely fruits or dulce de leche.

 Capoeira – Brazil’s national sport, capoeira is a cross between martial arts and dance – picture Bruce Lee breakdancing. With a long-winded history that Brendan would be more than happy to tell you about, all you really need to know is that the hot Brazilian men who practice it are mighty fine. Of course, our fearless Brendan had to give it a go – see pic below. 

Churasco – Beef. Chicken. Pork. Sausage. Repeat. Churasco is a style of dining whereby an enormous rotisserie bbq, lined with 4 foot skewers of meat, tries desperately to keep up with hungry patrons. An army of black-tied waiters run frantically around the restaurant slicing off giant hunks of meat directly onto your plate. The gorging begins when each patron’s personal signal disk is turned so that a green side faces up. This triggers something akin to the start of a drag race, complete with clouds of smoke and screaming crowds. The only way to stop the constant flow of flesh and signal that your colon is indeed full is by turning over the disk, red side up. And even then, eager waiters waive swords of chicken hearts at you, all the same.

…from the world’s largest Catholic country.

 Brel

1.  Public displays of affection are not only the norm in Rio, they’re kinda expected.  Sadly for B, Mel still hasn’t come ‘round.
2. When driving in Brazil, feel free to create your own lane – and if on motorcycle, driving in between cars and buses is totally ok.
3. It sucks to be blind or maimed in Brazil – though I guess that’s true in most countries.  Who knew Rohinton Mistry’s descriptions of beggars in A Fine Balance were so accurate?
4. Heed safety warnings – like don’t go to Copacabana beach at night. Just ask the poor Swede who was swarmed by three locals and arrived at our hotel covered in blood.
5. To speak Portuguese (the official language here): Spanish + Italian, spoken with a thick nasal accent.  Don’t say ‘Gracias’.
6. It sucks to run out of clothes – and wearing a bathing suit cover up (Mel) and jeans (Brendan) for 36 hours in 35 degree heat isn’t particularly a good time.
7. Your pack only gets heavier and more annoying the longer you’re gone. Surely magnets make ideal souvenirs for everyone back home?
8. There is a limit to the amount of ham you can eat – no matter how many different ways they try to serve it.  And no, ham will never compete with bacon.
9. Even Brel can start to annoy each other three months in to a year-long trip. Take a deep breath and repeat the following: “Compromise will NOT kill me. Surely he (she) isn’t this annoying in real life – I’ve spent 2 years with him (her) and surely would have noticed this (fill in the blanks: hygiene/morning cheeriness/ pickiness/ stubborness/pig-headedness) issue before?
10. Coming up with Top 10 lists isn’t always easy, especially if you only have 9 things to say.

As we live it up in beautiful Rio, the reality of how much of the population here lives is never far away.

Favelas, the slum areas of Brazil, dot the countryside – in fact, there are 350 of these impromptu villages in Brazil, many of them within Rio’s city limits. Run by drug lords and gangs, the favelas are a side of Brazil few tourists venture into – so of course, we have to check it out.

We choose to visit Rocinha, the largest favela in Latin America, where 200,000 people live in makeshift homes. The sights, sounds and smells of this community are an in-your-face reminder that there are no government services here– no electrical power, no water, no police, no sewage systems and no garbage removal. Fifty-five percent of the kids between the ages of 4-13 attend the four schools in the favela – many of the rest are “put to work”, begging on the streets of Rio. Two hospitals here attempt to service the needs of this huge community, suffering from ailments we haven’t seen in Canada in decades.

We are told that people born in favelas will generally die in favelas. We are shocked to learn that many of the hotel and restaurant staff who has welcomed us to Rio lives here. We question our tipping practices.

As we walk through the narrow streets, we are often told to put away our cameras – not for concern over theft, but because we are passing through armed gang-member areas. When surprise visits from the federal police (mostly corrupt) occur in a favela, gunfights are sure to erupt. Three weeks ago, an 11 year-old girl was killed by a stray bullet. In the words of our guide, “gunshots are the way most people here will die.” We hope he was exaggerating.

Life in a favela, of course, isn’t all bad. A rich artistic and musical community thrives here and the sounds of samba and artwork capturing life here are never far away.

Our tour guide is from Be a Local tours, an organization which seeks to educate the outside world about favelas, while striving to change them. The day we visit, we bring chocolate Easter eggs for the kids. The profits from the tours fund a wonderful day care centre.

It comes as no surprise, I’m sure, that this month’s Brel Drop in the Ocean Foundation has selected he Rocinha Daycare as its cause. If you’re interested in donating, you can do so here: http://bealocal.com

Our visit to Rocinha won’t soon be forgotten – and is a sombre reminder that there is a lot more to Brazil than caiparinhas and beaches.

Although this blog had started primarily as a way to chronicle our trip, stay in touch with our friends and family, and keep Mel occupied when Brendan was doing work, it has grown a life and following of its own. We’ve received support from friends and strangers alike and wanted to say thanks and acknowledge some of the friendly feedback we’ve gotten.

Blog Stats:
Total hits: 7634
and 1302 unique users since January

Recent links and friends:

PC2Paper
Some nice folks at PC2Paper (“All About Travelling, Keeping in Touch, Penpals, and Sending Letters”) decided that our humble BC was worthy of their Travel Blog of the Week

Flip Flop Flyin’
We met Craig in San Salvador Airport. For an amusing if slightly twisted view of his own travels though Latin America, check out his blog.

Lost In Translation
Want a taste of what it’s like to be a gaijin? Brendan’s old buddy Pat from his days living in Tokyo has a fun blog with regular tidbits of life in that craziest of places—Japan. Pat even went so far as to marry a Japanese pop star this year… and is now a proud new daddy!

Note to Mel’s parents: don’t worry, we come out of this alive and well. 

Ok, we’ve officially lost all sense of reason (if B ever had any….) 

Today we went hang gliding. Ok, technically, B test-piloted it yesterday, and when he came back intact, Mel decided to give it a try today.  

For those of you not fully recognizing the enormity of this event…have we mentioned that Mel has never gone for a ride on a roller coaster? Or that she refused to stand on her parents’ 23^rd floor balcony? 

Ok, back to hang gliding…here’s how it all went down (perhaps not the best choice of words)… 

To get airborne, you basically need to take a running leap off a 1,700 foot cliff – that’s like a 170 storey building, for all you non-math-types. Once you start running, there’s really no changing your mind without disastrous consequences – we suspect that’s why a man was conspicuously standing behind Mel to help (read: push) her along, if need be. Seriously, we have pictures.

Soaring high above Rio and the Atlantic Ocean, the view was, needless to say, pretty incredible. Catching the currents, flying along with the birds (literally), the whole experience was kind of surreal – and lasted about 15 minutes. B had reassured Mel that the flight was ‘relaxing and really calm’ – obviously, he hadn’t predicted the change in weather overnight and accompanying turbulence…thanks B.

Thanks to our fearless pilots Ricardo and Renato at Just Fly, for keeping us alive.

All in all, one heck of an adventure. The only question that remains….what can we possibly do next that will top this?

For all of you who’ve been reading our blog with envy, you’ll be pleased to know that we have made the difficult decision to reduce our lifestyle…albeit reluctantly. Gone are the beachfront hotels with rooftop pools, the bottles of wine, private transfers and fancy dinners. We’ve been welcomed into the world of the more genuine backpacker – bread and cheese breakfasts, per kilo buffet dinners and beer purchased at the grocery store. Pre-drinking, anyone? Oh yes, and let’s not forget about the buses…

We have, at long last, returned to land. As we look back on our week aboard the Tocorime (the same ship used in an episode of the Amazing Race, by the way) we remember….

• Sailing in a tropical storm – that in the end, lasted for 5 straight days and brought countless inches of rain
• A delicious, although improvised ‘beach bbq’ on the ship – complete with our chef cooking by headlamp
• Lots and lots of white rice
• No dolphin sightings – and not for Mel’s lack of trying
• Mud hikes – and a different definition of ‘gentle, flat walk’
• How gross it feels to not shower or wash our hair for a week – and the shock of how long leg hair can grow in that time
• More monkeys! They may look more gremlin-like then monkey-like, but how cute are they?
Not sure we’re true sailors yet, but it certainly has been an adventure we won’t soon forget. After a few (wet) days in Paraty, we’ve headed back to Rio…and hopefully some sun.

We knew it would eventually happen: the transition from vacation to travel. We are currently sailing on an old-school wooden tall ship, along the coast of Brazil. Adventure: yes; luxury: not so much.

After getting her own sea-sickness under control (thanks transdermal patch), Mel quickly assumed the role of Mother to the pukers. We’re sure this has nothing to do with the fact that she could, in fact, be the mother to some of the 19 year-olds on the ship. Thanks to a Costco purchase of Dramamine, she had everyone under control mid-way through the initial 12 hour sail on the Atlantic.

The cast of characters on our ship does not disappoint. Our faves – 2 brits on their gap year after high school, who we’ve nick-named Bill and Ted (though Cheech and Chong was a close second).

We should also point out that we are not just passengers on this ship – but act as a pseudo-crew when it’s time to hoist the sails. To be honest, the whole thing is a lot of work, and I’m not sure why we don’t just have some remote control that we can use to manoeuvre the sails. Surely that exists somewhere? An Easy button perhaps?

It’s funny how the brochure neglected to mention that we would all be sleeping in the same room, in bunk beds. Thankfully, the ship only has 9 passengers this week, so the amount of noise and disgusting sounds/smells being emitted isn’t entirely unbearable. We opt to sleep on deck, under the stars, whenever we can.

The miniature bathrooms onboard are yet another interesting part of the adventure. You basically need to collect a bucket water from the sea prior to doing your business and force the flush. Mel realized after the first day on board that limiting consumption of liquids in order to minimize bathroom use is probably not a good long-term strategy.

The food onboard is surprisingly good, though we think our cook may have a weakness for pot – and not the kind that she’s cooking rice in.

All in all, we have enjoyed our first 3 days on the ship, though a shower would be a welcome luxury right now. And Mel is dying to shave her legs.

Soccer Brazil-style

While Brazil may have more Catholics than anywhere else in the world, the real religion here is football – not the NFL kind, but soccer. So of course, we had to take in a game at the world-famous Maracana Football Stadium. Matches here are among the most exciting in the world – not just because of the quality of the players, but because of the fans. Hours of endless chanting, smoke bombs, flares and samba drums are just some of the ways the 90,000 fans show their support.

We watched Fluminense, one of Rio’s top teams, slaughter the Arsenals, bitter rivals from Argentina, 6-0. We were pleased to be on the winning end of the slaughter – and pleased not to have ‘beer bottles, cups full of urine and dead chickens’ hurled at us. That last quote is a warning, directly from our Lonely Planet guide.

Seriously, these guys take being a soccer fan to a level unheard of in North America. We could only imagine Canadians getting this excited, if, for example, the Leafs came back from last place to win the Stanley Cup in triple overtime, with Gretzyky, Bobby Orr and Rocket Richard leading the charge, after the Leafs have somehow already won the World Series and the Superbowl. Oh yea, and the 1976 Canadian team….

Here are some fun videos of the game. If they don’t work, the video server may be down (it was when I loaded them but assume it will be back soon.)