Traveling seeker in British Isles

Well I’m just under the 6 weeks mark. I finally bought my tickets 2 days ago. It was a very emotional thing- I was so excited because it was set -and it was very scary-because I really had to go!

It’s not like it’s a trip- it’s a life change and I’m scared. I have never traveled by myself before- not even in the states! But here I am giving up everything and everyone and going to another country to live. So many things pass through my mind. Will I be able to find places to stay, will I be “nice” enough- when I have no feeling of security that I have grown accustomed to? Like food, water, and a bed with heat? Will people be willing to put up a stranger in their house? (would I in the states?) I think I’m a independent person- but am I really? Can I sell myself? (not in THAT way!) but in selling my talents for food, shelter?

After I ordered my tickest, I e-mailed my sister the trip info. One for her to keep a record, in case something happens. And two, so she would know that I finally got it set. She called me the next day and said “I’m so proud of you! And I will put on my calender that I will drive you to the airport.” I told her that my friend Linda would take me, being that the airport was not the Cleveland Airport, but The Akron/Canton one. It was much closer for my friend to take me – and it won’t be so emotional. She said “NO! I’m taking you! I will call and get us a hotel room for the night before and we will have our last night together! No men to bother us (she has a husband and a son). We’ll stay by the airport and have just “us” time together. And so what – you’ll cry!” I was kind of stunned by her reaction. I know that I will miss her and her me- but I figured it would be just a hug and kiss good-bye. But I guess it’s pretty important to her. And I have already started to cry! Even as I write this, tears are rolling down my face…..boy, this is really going to be hard!

I had a lot of days in a row running around getting stuff ready. I have to sell my car and can’t find the damm title- which I know I have, but with all the trashing of old papers and packing- I have no idea where I put it! So had to run around getting a duplicate.

Then I am trying to get some small business’s set up with accounts to sell my greeting cards in their stores. And getting advertising jobs sold for extra cash. all this takes lots and lots of time and my nerves are frayed!

I’m living out of my suitcase already at a friends house. She has my darkroom in her basement and I came here for a week to finish up a bunch of photo’s for my friends and family that I need to make. It’s Thursday and I’ve yet to get down there! I have a bunch of stuff to produce and I’m scheduled to leave on Friday!

I ran home to do a final look for my car title before I ran to get the duplicate and find my mother is not doing well. She’s in a big depression and won’t get out of bed. Finding out that I got my tickets didn’t help the situation. As much as she is supportive of me leaving- she is also very lonely. So more depression and then she plays out the depression with liquor. It doen’t make me NOT want to leave, it just makes me worry about her more. And it makes me mad. But she is sick and can’t help herself. But as bad as it sounds, she can only help herself. So in 6 weeks, it’s up to her!
And I do feel sorry for my sister, who will have to carry the load once I leave.

I went to my ex-husbands to get my registration for my car (he’s sellling it) and to see my dog, Brandy. It just broke my heart! She is happy with her daddy (I got her in the divorce and when I decided to leave, Brandy started to have longer visits with her daddy- but now she has moved in full time) but she was so excited to see me! And when I left I felt she was so sad. I would rather have my heart broken then hers….and it seemed both of ours broke when I left. And boy, will I miss my ex! I had just told him that I got the tickets and I could see his sad look. He said that he was happy for me, and sad for him. He wants me to come stay a few days before I leave and spend time with him and Brandy. BOY- this is going to be so hard. Even though our marriage didn’t work out – we are such good friends. We still fight like a married couple, but we have always been there for each other. I will really miss him. I left there in a real funk. For even a few hours I felt the tears just under the surface.

After a few other stops, I was finally on my 1 hour ride to my friends house and I just couldn’t get this feeling of loss to ease up. I came into the house and she could sense that I wasn’t feeling right. He husband went to his TV room and her and I just talked. She’s a really good psychic and offered me a reading. She helped ease some of my concerns and she said that I have done what I can for my Mom and my ex. It was up to them to deal with their issues on their own now. It was ME time. She told me lots of other things about the trip and some of the experiences that await me. It did seem to ease my mind. I was so drained I fell into bed.

I can’t believe all the stuff that has to be figured out before I leave. Friends to see before I leave, the business issues to get final, how to cut down my packing of clothes, buy a coat and boots, get my teeth cleaned, find someplace to stay!, money, money, and more money, need a new lap top, have to get more equipt. for the radio show, find a place to stay, get my family history onto my computer, make more contacts in Dublin and Westport, find out why my little toe is not healing (I broke it), finish moving out of my mom’s, finsh my website, keep my blog updated, dispurse some more items to my siblings and ex, finish photo books for my nieces (they are my muses, and are the stars of my childrens greeting card line),shoot new photos of Christmas lights and trees for Christmas cards for next year, get all my darkroom photos done, money, money and more money – and last but far from least- FIND A PLACE TO STAY!

Add in my feelings of loss, worry, and my biggest- FEAR!

So that’s what is up on the closing of an old life and the opening of a new one. There is comfort in what I currently have- and fear of the unknown. I will mourn the loss of the old- but the new will make it all worth it! I will survive, and so will my family.

I hope that this blogg helps some one who is going through the same thing as me. All the other bloggs are about the excitment of leaving, and the experiences of what they see and who they meet. But what about the emotion of it all? Many people are leaving for long trips and yet they don’t mention the emotional part of leaving – even if for a while? I can’t be the only wacko out there- or am I?

Till we meet again-
Kym

I’m 9 weeks and counting to the day I leave Ohio, USA. 7 months ago I decided to close out the life I had been living to venture out to another country to make a new life! I put my belongings in storage, gave the joy of my life (my dog- Brandy) to my ex-husband, quit my job and focused on preparing to travel around the British Isles.

Within the week, my tickets will be secured. The next few weeks my website will be ready (KymMcBride.com), my travel blogg can now be crossed off the list and my bags will stuffed to the brim. My mind is ready for this venture, but in the mist of the calm is a small voice that is screaming “What the hell are you doing!?!?!” I’m trying to quite this voice and I seem to do pretty good until I lay down to sleep and the voice gets really loud and the sleeping part of my day starts to elude me.

The voice points out all the things that I don’t have done – like the really big ones! Like where am I staying, the money I don’t have, the exact travel route not clear- just to name a few. But I do have one thing – TRUST that this is the ONLY thing I can do at this time in my life. It’s a PASSION and passion is the most commanding voice of all- even over doubt. So this is my story…..

I’m a woman in her 40’s. Divorced, with no children. I’ve been attending college for the last few years and have loved every moment of it (Pshychology and Art major (in Photography). I am now a photographer (after a long long list of other jobs) and I am in a art gallery in my home city. I have just started a Greeting card company (McBrideCompany@gmail.com) which will allow a variety of artist to get their work out to the general public. Now here is the part that will either interest you – or make you leave this bogg- I am also a Psychic/Medium. I usually follow this statement with “I see dead people” as in Sixth Sense and most recently “Medium” the new TV show- as an example of what a medium is. I have been a praticing psychic/medium for about the last 7 years. It seems that everyone has some “unfinished” business with someone that has died. Either they have not said “good-bye” or they left something unsaid or something they wish the dead person had said to them. It’s not the need that stops people from letting me help them- I think it’s just the fear of HOW I can help them. It’s not all “whooo” stuff. It’s a conversation – that heals. But enough on this part of me- for it’s just that a PART of me. I don’t have a crystal ball, or dangling crystals or a turben on my head. And NO I have never been on the the “Psychic Network”!

I do have a radio show that I will be doing as I travel. It’s format is music and interviws with people that are working in the metaphysical areas. Healers, Psychics, Mediums (not all psychics are mediums), etc. I will seeking out like minded people and with the radio show – teach people that it’s not the whoooo stuff that people have been instilled with. As of this post the show is in development (it was up and on for the last few months) but it is getting some more work. It’s “Lightworker22Radio.com”

My trip is starting in Westport, Ireland (my family heritage-grandma’s side) meandering to Dublin (within 3 months vacation visa). Then to Wales then up into Chester la-Street, England (my family heritage- grandpa’s side) then up to Scotland (the real home of the English) then back down. At the end of this, I should have MILLIONS of photos (mostly people- my area of interest), tons of radio shows in the can, added a huge amount of new family to my genealogy and an amazing amount of new friends. And most of all – a decission of where I would like to settle down at – and an idea of how to make that happen!

My trip will entail meeting a wide range of people that will assist me on my travels. I am asking for help from anyone that reads this blogg! I will barter my talents for room and board. I can take photo’s of you and your family, clean your house, help cook (not one of my strongest talents), or help you connect with a passed on family member! I don’t smoke nor drink very much. I’m not loose nor am a prude! I don’t push any of my beliefs on others (whoooo) and I’m a very good guest (I’ve been told).
I would work where I was needed (if you have a family business).

Well, that’s “MY STORY” – I hope I didn’t bore everyone. But if you can help – please either contact me through this blogg or my email : KymMcBride@gmail.com. If you even just have tips that I could use – PLEASE HELP. And if not – as my family is doing – “Pray for me Argentina!”

God Speed- Kym