Canada to Patagonia at a Worrying Age

Not a bad likeness, although you´ll see my hair has grown very quickly.

PS. Derm says Bird of Cuzco by Nina Nastasia written for John Peel should be a track of one day while I´m here. Haven´t heard it yet, but I´ll trust to his judgement.

Well we knew it would have to happen at some point. Yes – I’ve been kidnapped by a tribe of South American Indians, but it’s not all bad as they have made me their God. Which is nice, for me as well as for them.

Now, I’ve been charged with coming up with a latter day Eden, hopefully without the bad apples and Disney baddy snakes – and this is where you come in.

We seem to be fine for psychotropic drugs and penis gourds, but other than that we’re short of one or two essential items. If someone can arrange to have them delivered I’ll grant you eternal life or 5 years as the celebrity of your choice – whichever you think is the better…

The complete works of Shakespeare and a copy of the bible are already here (next to what appears to be the shrunken head of Sue Lawley), so the only reading materials we’re short of is Match of the Day Magazine and Take-a-Break. If someone could sort out the subs, that would be great.

The drugs do work, but leave us with rotten hangovers, so a (gross) box of Nurofen would be handy.

By and large the girls seem to be fine, their only requests are for push-up bras and a few crates of Bacardi Breezers (all flavours except melon).

The lads, on the other hand, have been arguing for days about what the priorities should be. Finally, they’ve landed on a complete range of Clinique men’s grooming products. Please ensure the sun block comes in SPF 30 as well as 15 for those who are more sensitive to the sun.

The children will be fine with Sunny Delight, as all children are.

Thanks in advance to the first one who can sort this out. Don’t forget to state your preference on the reward thing.

Address is Chief Juan Martin 1, The Incas, The Andes, Peru.

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