BootsnAll Travel Network


Ah, Texas. The biggest state west of the California border. Land of Big Trucks, oil, George Dubya Bush, carpenter ants, and famous for the shot on location “A Very Brady Christmas.” I drove in from Tucson to El Paso. Don’t confuse El Paso with Old El Paso. Old El Paso is a brand of Mexican food, featuring taco shells, seasoning, sauces, hot dogs, lemonade and car wax. You can find it at your local grocer, unless they are super fancy and only sell items labeled as “Private label,” “Gourmet,” or “Throw away in 7 days or else!” In that case, try Albertsons and you should find Old El Paso. But be sure to bring your Albertsons card, because if you don’t, you won’t be able to save 15 cents off the shelf price like their privileged ‘members’ do. Did you know that those loyalty card programs kill off 20% of our land mass air every minute? That’s right, the ozone is being depleted by our inability to comprehend the factual findings that leading scientists have compiled in the last 20 centuries, but our elected officials refuse to confirm this data because they have pork programs to consider. That is why, in the year 2029, you should vote for Pedro Peter Picadilly. He’s only 2 years old now, but he will make a fine president to lead our country. Or at least Texas.

Dallas is home to that moment on November 22nd, 1963, when President JFK was assisinated. I visited the memorial and listened to the enterprising entrepreneurs trying to sell “souvenir” conspiracy programs and newspaper headlines. It made me want to watch the Oliver Stone flick, which he titled “JFK.” Which means John Frederick Kennedy. He wasn’t in the film, they used someone who looked like him. The real star was Kevin Costner. Maybe that’s why I never saw the movie. Cause everyone knows that Kevin Costner can only play 3 types of parts–a washed up baseball player; a post-aployptic anti-hero; and a disgraced sumo wrestler in in old frontier days. Which makes you think….has he ever been in the same movie at John Travolta? Hmmm.

Dallas is on Central time, which means it is 12:32 as I write this, but actually only 10:32pm at home. I am tired. Been pretty active this whole past week. I’m happy I brought my bike. Tomorrow, Sunday, is the Dallas marathon. If I was crazy enough, I’d run it. But my body is so worn out. So instead, I biked part of the marathon route today, around White Rock Lake. Also caught a Dallas Mavericks – Boston Celtics basketball game–tickets were only $5, how could I pass it up?

At anywho, you didn’t come to my travel blog to actually read about my travels, did you? I know you are really more fascinated with profound revelations about this world we live in and grand thoughts of wisdom that only travel can bring to the unbridled mind, yes? Well, you are in luck. I leave you with this quote, from my serious, harmonica-wielding friend Dave “Gherm” Barmon. He recommends to “Eat lots of poop.” I sleep now leaving you with that to digest. And maybe when I’m not so tired, my blog will actually make some sense.

P.S. I’m sleepy.

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