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In Loving Memory….

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

pisces-flower-72.jpg

A friend that I hadn’t known for a long time, passed away from a rare form of cancer over the weekend.

His father had called me the day before he passed and asked me about chinese doctors in Gainesville. He said he is getting weaker. It didn’t sound good and for the first time since I met B, it occurred to me that he may not live very long.

I’m shocked and sad and relieved knowing that he’s in a much better place. I also wondered about his passing and where the spirit is. I wonder if his family can be comforted in peace that he is free from that diseased-ridden body. He was only 20 and had cancer since he was 9, it went into remission, but came back.

For a young guy to be bed-ridden for what has been the last few months of his life, he was upbeat, positive and sociable. He was a bright kid, had a great sense of humor and we could talk about the most intellectual things and switch to the most mundane base humor. He was a cool kid.

His mother was his nurse, taking care of him 24 hours a day and she was also taking care of her family as well. I pray for her to see the hope in all of this and in her son, that physically she may not be with him, and that beyond this realm we all accustomed to, is something beyond our understanding…that he is no longer he, and that spirit we all loved is now everywhere, free, and she can commune with him all the time.

I am proud and grateful that I had the time with him. Much love B!

Friday, March 28th, 2008

in my mind

a thousand times

the past is relived

pushing the buttons

over and over

masochism

though I push him away…

there he remains…

slowly fading…

trying to say good bye

and holding on

and letting it all go

the past,

the past,

what was

what was never meant to be

but in that time

releasing

there is a less of a charge

but a part of me

that holds on

for some reason

perhaps that is where we are still

joined.

why is that I only write prose when I’m down about something someone

less identified….strangely, but still I

push and push my button

that has his name all over it.

The name I put there.

ugh.  love.  it all.

open and unattached.

what ever that means.

Aia and me…

Monday, March 24th, 2008
Once upon a time, in a far away land, and even further, further away was I, from reality...I heard this song, and instead of freaking me out (as the other songs were doing), it piqued my interest. I heard ... [Continue reading this entry]

Openhearted break up

Monday, March 10th, 2008
In this place of stillness, of openness in my heart after being attached to him and to the outcome, things are becoming more clear.For some reason, I thought I could stay with a man that ... [Continue reading this entry]

Thanksgiving, well, Post, thanksgiving…

Sunday, November 25th, 2007
I don't know where the time goes....just more into being in the moment then writing it down...but here's something to ponder... Yup.  Being, poli....no, being, a humanist again... http://www.lucasgray.com/video/peacetrain.html Just to remind everyone there are people living there, with lives, just ... [Continue reading this entry]