I can see her now, like a Southern Baptist goddess standing on the stage in a flowing purple, gold fringed robe, spotlighted on a tall wooden stage. She starts out with an "Oh Lordy!" while slowly sidestepping back and forth, feeling the power swell up, eyes closed and swaying, hands raising into the air. "HmmmmmmMmmm..." humming like a lion purring. It starts slow and subtle but there is more to come, something fierce, loud and powerful- it is just a matter of time. This is the prelude, the introduction, a taste of the future. You do not have to be a religious person to realize it is an emotional image, building like tectonic energy pushing mountains into the sky.

People have asked in this last week before leaving for Japan for a year, maybe two, maybe six months, if I was excited. Not yet. Not now. I was. I will be. Increments of excitement is a better description.

I received my work visa and put in my two weeks notice. A little excitement welled up in me as I removed my CD's and pictures from my cubicle walls, placed to remind me of anything other than work. Driving south out of Reno, NV, to Arizona, to drop off what personal belongings I own in a 4' X 4' corner of my mother's garage a little excitement sputtered like my first $200.00 car the first time I started it. In the last week I talked with friends and family, seeing all I could in the few days I was in town, another item marked off the list. Intermitten excitement.

The last leg before leaving, hanging out in Napa, CA, with friends, my flight to Japan a few days away. Pending excitement. It has been a long process of moving forward. Five months since it started, maybe a year and five months depending on how the timeline is put together. Excitement cannot be maintained for an extended period of time without turning to numbness, so it comes and goes, syncopated rythm.

I am getting ready. Logistics: inevitably I will leave something at home and in trying to pack I consider tossing things into the garbage just so I do not have to fit it in the corner of a $35.00 suitcase. At this point, it may just stay there on the garage floor. It is not so bad being forced into doing something different. I catch up with memories and old stories like Grasping Strange Tongues and Deconstructing Travels To Tikal, reminding myself the big picture takes place in small moments. It is easy to get distracted from what you want until you feel the hot wet breath on your neck. It is a matter of time and how it is spent.

The answer to being asked if I am excited about going to Japan: Yes. Sometimes. Here and there.

When I step off my plane in Japan, check through immigration trying to remember more than the "You want a drink don't you?" and "My place or your place?" I recall from the 10 "Learn Japanese" CD's, I'll hear the fat lady humming a bit louder with growing intensity almost to climax, getting ready to burst into a loud gospel song, and I'll know it is time.