Our train blew into the great Thar Desert creating our own personalized sandstorm that coated us with fine golden sand so that when we got up from where we sat, a perfect outline of our bodies remained on the benches. We arrived in Jaisalmer, home to a golden fort that is one of the last living forts in India. Jaisalmer lies in the state of Rajasthan which is in India, although it sounds like it could be a former Soviet republic. We quickly got situated, organized a three-day camel safari into the desert, and sourced out a real cup of coffee. Jaisalmer camel safari organizers are notorious for their scams and diligent homework and interviews are required. We of course went with the first guy we met and did not speak to another soul. Buyer beware… be damned!

Our safari started early the next morning when we met our companions, Sean (Brit), Stefan and Juliena (German) in the back of a jeep. We have had great luck with safari and trekking companions so far and within a few minutes we could see this was to be no exception. We made some quick stops at a few carved stone temple sites that more than demonstrated that Rajasthani stone carvers were some of the best in the world. Scalloped stone roofs dropped into identical stone lanterns on every corner. Thousands of idols looked reality-perfect and as detailed as the day they were carved 500 years ago.

Then it was time to meet our camels and our guides. These shaggy, fly and tick-infested, walking fart machines (the camels, not the guides) actually had a better disposition than what we imagined. I think our guide matches camels with clients by how bowed the riders’ legs are. Sean got the biggest camel, but I’m not implying anything. I got the second biggest which I named Alyce. Mounting a camel is not that hard as they are on their haunches when you climb on. It is the three-point near catapult to standing that takes some getting used to as it pitches you forward almost parallel to the ground, then a neck snapping jerk back into a final slam forward into the pommel. This testicle-crushing procedure would be repeated twenty-five to thirty times over the next three days.

We started off over a blistering scrubbed pan that a few hardy souls actually eke out some sort of crop in tiny plots. It is not Egypt-barren but close to it. It is home to antelope, deer, wild donkeys, fowl, fox, scorpions, and dung beetles. The emptiness has a peace to it that sets you at ease on the back of your camel with its rhythmic swaying. It gave us time to talk and tell stories about each others lives. This is one of the best parts of traveling, meeting interesting people. I will sum up the camel safari food quickly: sand, dry chapatis, sand, curried cucumber, sand, rice, sand, boiled eggs, sand, and no utensils, just fingers. To say the least, we lost some weight out there in the desert.

We camped on a small patch of honey-coloured sand dunes, eating our gruel, watching the enormous solar disk burn into the shadowed dunes and lay out our camel, I mean sleeping, blankets. As the fragrance of the camels spread around, inept flying black dung beetles crashed down upon us and started doing what they do best: collecting and rolling dung. We lay out under the darkening sky and a sliver of a moon followed the sun. Quickly Venus and then Mars and then the whole of the Milky Way showed themselves in a desert-night brilliance. We counted shooting stars for a while but they grew too many and we drifted off to sleep only to be woken up several times in the night by wayward dung beetles crawling across out bodies or burrowing camel turds under our blankets.

In the morning we found that Alyce had been stung on her foot pad by a scorpion and was in considerable pain. So with bellowing camel howls we rolled her on her back and the guides dug out a stinger. We padded along to a near village for what we thought would be continued treatment as the guides heated up a large steel poker until it was red hot and then hog tide poor Alyce. What we thought was going to be some ancient traditional healing method turned out to be Alyce’s ID branding day. As the camel screamed and the smoke billowed off of her hind quarters we could not help but feel for this beast. It was really a bad day for Alyce!

The next night was similar to the first but we were awoken by someone repeatedly yelling “Hello, hello! Turn on your torch!” Brandy asked if I thought it was a bandit but I could see that Sean was missing from the row of sleeping bodies. I turned on my flashlight and Sean came breathlessly up the dune. He had lost his way on a toilet break. Once the moon goes down, it is pitch black. We laughed so hard I think I swallowed a dung beetle.

We swam in an oasis on the third day and Stefan got our mouths watering with talk about the food he would eat when we got back to civilization. In the end, we had paid more than the others so we extracted that from our dishonest safari organizer upon our return. Brandy insured that a touchy-feely guide that she gave a good smack to was dealt with and we were sworn to secrecy that the trip was way over priced. The trip was twice as long as what you need to experience the desert on a camel but all-in-all we had tons of laughs with our new friends and it was another chapter in this big adventure.

The most important thing that we learned upon our arrival back to civilization was that there had been a tragic earthquake in the neighboring country of Pakistan that also affected Indian-controlled Kashmir. We had lots of emails as to our safety but the best was when I received a call on our mobile phone from the Indian High Commission asking if we were okay. Apparently they also march to the orders of my mother. She had contacted some Canadian official that had contacted them. The official was very polite but asked that I call off my mother as they can only deal with one angry mother at a time. Mother nature…earth quake? Get it? Anyway the quake was felt in parts of Rajasthan but since we were on an animal that gave personal earthquakes with every step, we ourselves did not feel it.

After a night of gorging ourselves back in Jaisalmer, we got up early to explore the fort. It is a stone block castle, honey in colour, rising out of the pale desert. Sunrise or sunset sets the fort glowing a deep yellow. You have to pass through three ancient gates on the twisting roadway to the summit. We found the honey-colour is fitting as the place is a beehive of activity. Motorcycles, autorickshaws, bikes, cows, dogs, camels, cars, and people scrambles along narrow passageways of yellow stone made shiny from use. The fort is much smaller than it appears from the outside and it only takes a few minutes to walk around its clogged alleys where we could see why it is on UNESCO’s endangered heritage site watch list as the structure cannot withstand this type of use for long. Beautiful polished yellow stone temples are carved so fine that they look laser-made and not by hammer and chisel. These belong to a Hindu sect that abhors all killing even to the point that they wear scarves over their mouths lest they breathe in a bug. Cow patty dodging is a similar sport in Jaisalmer as it was in Varanasi. While Brandy was not so lucky, I was able to dodge them all successfully. After lots of insincere goodbyes and well wishes from the safari organizers at the Henna Hotel, we made our way back to the sandstorm train and headed east.

We arrived in Jodhpur to the welcoming arms of Saffron and her staff at the Hill View Guest House. Saffron is as well-known in Jodhpur as the massive fort of Meherangarh that dominates the skyline. We have nothing but good memories and thanks to her and we were lucky to meet up with Sean, Stefan and Juliena again at the Hill View. The fort is the most impressive we have seen in India and the still-reigning Maharaja has made it a top showpiece. It sits on a monolithic chunk of red sandstone 500 feet high and the fort adds yet another 300 feet. It truly is an imposing structure and easy to see why its seven gates and three miles of ramparts have never been taken. The audio tour led us expertly through the fort describing each gate, each palace, the life of the Maharajas’ court and displayed the royal opulence concluding with breathtaking views of Jodhpur from the cannon-lined ramparts. The Rajasthani stone-carving craftsmanship abounds in every nook and cranny and only the sizzling heat drove us from this magnificent structure. The ramparts gave us a splendid view of the blue city of Jodhpur as those of the Brahmin caste within the old walled city have traditionally painted their homes indigo blue and the tradition has continued as the blue walls are perceived to be a natural mosquito repellant. It seemed that this city was awash with postcard views.

We said goodbye to our friends Sean, Stefan and Juliena and boarded our last train that would bring our Indian travels to a total of 8,500 km by train, 400 km by bus, 80 km by boat, 200 km by autorickshaw/taxi, 60 km by stinking camel, and approximately 100 km by foot. We arrived in the outskirts of Bombay and threw ourselves into a Bombay taxi scrum which surrounds all Westerners’ upon arrival at a station of any sort. The lucky taxi we picked had the nasty habit of overheating every 15 minutes which turned our 45 minute drive into 1 ½ hours. The taxi wasn’t the only thing overheating!

Both of us really like Bombay with its colonial buildings, wide clean streets (for India), and organized hustle and bustle (for India). We took in a Bollywood movie which told a typical love story that involved many dancing and singing numbers and brought tears to the audience although our tears were from laughter, especially when one of the numbers had the lead heroine, who was nine months pregnant with twins, breakdancing and moonwalking.

So we have survived India. We arrived with a preconditioned trepidation and an unwarranted hard veneer ready to be overwhelmed everywhere we turned. In India you are instantly immersed in the chaos, but we found it more like entering a crowded room of friends than a subway rush of strangers. The country has one name but holds so many different lands and people; it seems you have traveled over many borders and across many eras. If there is one place you experience instead of visit, India is it.

Namaste, India! Malaysia here we come!

Photos:
Brandy at Jaisalmer Fort
Kevin's Camel Stands
In the Dunes
With Sean, Juliena and Stefan
The Thar Desert Hilton
Desert Sunset
On Our Camels
On the Ramparts at Jaisalmer Fort
Temple in the Fort
Inside the Jodhpur Fort
The Blue City of Jodhpur
Official Fort Flute Player (Look Closely: Needs New Glasses)
Kevin the Snake Charmer