Fasten Your Seatbelts We Have Landed On The Sub-Continent – INDIA!

After the raw expansive beauty of Africa, India would have to work hard to leave as deep an impression. We landed in Mumbai (Bombay) at 2:00am to our first mistake of the day. We had not exchanged our Kenyan shillings in Nairobi and found out at the airport foreign exchange desk that “nowhere in India would exchange Kenyan shillings”. Then we found out that all the airport ATM’s had all been ruined in the monsoon floods that took place the week before, so we were left with only a 5 Euro note and 250 rupees of beer money given to Brandy by her coworkers at ECNG. As we had no hotel reservation and we had just barely enough local currency for taxi fare to get into the city where we weren’t sure the ATMs would be working, we decided to wait until dawn before heading into a strange city (saving on a night’s accommodation just a bonus). We made Mistake #2 by leaving the arrival hall for a look around and could not get back inside the airport. Mistake #3 was staking a sleeping spot under the stars in monsoon season: we had to scramble for cover at about 3:00 am. So our first night in India we slept with the Indians on a sidewalk in front of the airport. At dawn we caught a taxi into town and found both an ATM and a hotel.

Bombay was the seat of power for the British in India for 200 years and its parks, buildings, and boulevards are testimony to this. Though it may be a bit faded, chipped and worn, it is a place that we want to explore more once the monsoons and the recent outbreak of “rat fever” (water-borne disease from the flood) that has already killed several hundred people, have passed. We will spend a few days here before we fly out of Bombay to our next destination.

We caught the night train to the famous beaches of Goa. The class we bought was described to me by some Germans as “chicken coop” class – great! Our berth had six travelers in it: us, two Aussie dudes, a Brit, and a Spaniard. Fourteen hours, six bunks and a squat toilet – chickens never had it so good. Vacating the smallish roaches after flipping out the bunks, we bedded down to 8 hours of sleep in 1-hour intervals as tea hucksters would come by to see if we wanted to wake up for some “chai, chai, chai!”. Despite this we had lots of good laughs.

We found a perfect little bungalow on Benaulim Beach with promises of quiet nights and incredible, cheap seafood. We chilled out for three days watching the monsoon squalls boil across the Indian Ocean, blasting our little paradise a few times a day. The area supports a small population of traditional fishermen and one morning after our wake-up swim, Darrell and I helped pull in their net right up on the beach. We had lots of good British company and tilted lots of Kingfisher beer ($1.25 for 650ml). Hi Rachel, Darrell, Claire, Penny, Maggie and David… sorry for the spelling and thanks for the laughs. Of course there has to be a loon on every lake and we had a couple. This couple rolled down the beach at the waters edge and I really mean rolled, over and over; claimed they had been attacked by dogs (twice!); said they had been surrounded by thousands of crabs; and grew and ate their own “magic” bean sprouts. Their bizarre behaviour became clear when the male loon was beside himself that we had not heard that Valium is cheap and available over the counter in India.

We caught another train and then a tuk-tuk to the ancient city of Hampi in Karnataka State. The modern village of Hampi (pop 2,000) lies in the heart of the ruins of the ancient city of Hampi (pop 300,000). It is a very odd mix of ancient granite blocks, tower shrines and cyber cafes. The surrounding countryside looks like a page out of the Flintstones with massive granite boulders everywhere, sometimes piled into good-sized hills. Our guide told us this was caused by an earthquake, but given his other faux pas I would suggest glacial. These red boulder hills and green fields produced a spectacular contrast. We found a brand new guest house with hot water for $5.75 per night – lovin’ India! We hired a guide the next day to explain the ancient city and show us the temples, many of which are still in use. At one you hand a rupee to an elephant that passes it to the trainer and then “kisses” you on the top of the head all in one fluid motion. A blessing some say, the more jaded would call it something else. The blessing is followed by the elephant snot removal. We witnessed a beautiful wedding with lots of music, rice throwing, flowers, parades and monkeys. Yeah, there are lots of those dirty little thieves around, dirty little city monkeys, blah! At one of the temples we went to, we were led in a tunnel behind the idol with hundreds of bats overhead squeaking away. We were told to press our foreheads against a carving and then spin around seven times. When the candle illuminated the wall, hundreds of cockroaches could be seen. Brandy broke the head-butt-seven-twirl-world-record and got the hell out of there. Everyone likes to practice their English and meet the tourists. It is great most of the time but sometimes it gets a little much.

The next day we rented bikes still in their bubble wrap (don’t ask) and rode to several temples, two of which are World Heritage sites. One was the Royal Elephant Stables, yep a huge walled yard with massive and ornate building filled with stalls for elephants. The other a temple with the most exquisite granite-carved structures we have ever seen. Every square foot was carved with some sort of deity. Really one of the most spectacular groups of ruins we have ever visited. Some of the single stone carvings were as big as a large truck, to think of the work to carve and move it. The columns had chandeliers carved at the top, deities down the sides and great animal pedestal bases. Not just one of these in a temple, literally hundreds. Some were hollow and you could tap them to make a drum noise. While Brandy did not fall over and my bike did not fall apart, I was able to T-bone a buffalo. The brakes were not yet adjusted on this new bike.

Every temple we visit we are accosted by colourful powder wielding holy people, whose only mission in life is to make sure that everyone has a dot on their forehead. No sooner do we wipe it off, no easy feat, when another powder villain appears. Because of the religious significance of the area, there is no meat served around Hampi but the vegetarian dishes were great. We had a spectacular dinner at the Mango Tree Restaurant with a great family from Austria: Hello Lucas, Christina, Rafael and Magdalena (sorry for the spelling and please contact us for info on safaris). The Mango Tree is just that - a several hundred year old mango tree that you sit under on the edge of the river watching the sun go down, perfect. Lucas was the good samaritan who tipped us as to where we could get a beer in this dry town.

I had my first Indian shave here. For about 50 cents you are given a five minute face massage with a horse hair lather brush, delicately shaved with a cut-throat razor (yes with a new blade) twice and then given a tingling face slap. It was such a close shave that I won’t need to shave for a week. I won’t be needed much from Gillette in India, I’m hooked on the shave service.

On our last night we witnessed a holy parade down the bazaar and into the centre temple. With a painted elephant in lead, colourful pole bearers carried a gilded bull on a platform and everyone threw flowers and received blessings in return. There was musicians, fireworks and lots of singing. It was really spectacular! The gilded bull looked very heavy as it was carried by these 40 men, but what made it funny was that behind the bull on the platform was a huge gas generator providing the power for the speakers and the light show. This thing could have lit the whole town let alone this special cow.

The clouds lifted for our train ride back to the coast so we could see the incredible vistas as the train rolled along the huge fertile plain and then wound its way down the mountains. We passed the second highest water fall in India, 650m, rolled over spine tingling trestles and plunged trough countless tunnels. Indians know how to build railways and many of their lines would make our Rocky Mountain crossings look quite simple. It is not only the largest train network in the world but the largest employer in the world at 1.4 million employees. Wow!

We have not yet felt the madness and chaos we were told to expect in India. The opposite really: friendly, smiling, well-meaning people.

Photos:
Brandy at Gateway of India - Mumbai
Train Bunkmates
Fishing at Benaulim
British Friends at Benaulim
Kevin Gets a Shave
Kissed by an Elephant
Indian Wedding
Musical Columns
Temple Musician
Brandy and Children
Brandy and Kevin and Children
Shaking Everyone's Hand
Brandy Shopping
Dining with the Austrians
Kevin and Ganesh
Brandy and Kevin and Ancient Bath
Kevin and Statue
Temple Reflection
Hallway of Lotus Mahal
Elephant Stables
Bubble Wrapped Bikes
Stone Chariot
Night Festival
Riverside Ritual

FFP #9:
Some people embrace the Indian clothes and some people drown themselves in it. Really Indians do not dress like this, just the tourists. Ah, behold the Rich French Tourist.