Sweeney Todd – The Demon Barber of Luxor
We had a down day just to relax after so many exciting days and because we have two more big days in Luxor before heading to Mt Sinai. We did some logistics stuff like by airline tickets and tours to temples to be seen outside of Luxor. We also visited the small mummification museum where we learned a bit about why the mummified humans and animals and how they did it. I can’t say it was the most exciting museum, but it was done very well and reaffirmed that Egypt can build a good museum. But what I really want to discuss about this day was the simple visit to a barber for a haircut that caused my opinion of Egyptians to totally bottom out. Note: You’re probably tired of me reporting about how bad these people are, but I feel that they taint the experience so much that you are better off knowing all I have encountered in case you ever brave coming here. In order to be able to survive, you have to understand just how low they will go.
At breakfast, I saw a sign outside that said “Sweeny (sic) Todd Barber” and said it was nearby. Peggy and I had heard the name before and she correctly mentioned a play. I found the shop and it was closed. A neighbor said he could call the barber because he is around the area somewhere. Great, please do. In the meantime, I learn they are friends and they are Coptics. When I got into the shop, the owner welcomed me and was quite smiley and warm. I asked how much and he evaded the question. I thought, what the hell, a cut is $15 in California, $9 at Rocco’s in NYC and I pay $3-6 in Latin America and Africa so this won’t be a big deal and I sat in the seat with the friendly guy starting to cut.
I ask him about being a Coptic in a Muslim country and he tells me it is OK because there are a lot of Coptics and the two religions get along pretty well. About 10% (he said 20%, but his number like most locals’ is inflated) of Egypt’s 80 million people (by the way, this is up from 59 million in 1996 – no wonder this place is a mess) are Coptics with the majority of the rest being Sunni Muslim (Shia Muslim go to jail easily according to the newspaper articles I have read). I am quite interested in this demographic because I am tring to determine if the lousy culture I am encountering is due to Egyptians, Muslims, Middle Easterners or Arabs. I only ran into a little of this in Morocco and Tunisia so it would seem that it is not a North African thing and it obviously is not all Muslims. Is there an identifiable group in Egypt that is reponsible for the horrible attitude or are there groups that do not take part in it?
I ask him about the name and he beams. He tells me that there is a 19th century true story from Britain about a man called Sweeney Todd that is a barber as well as a straight-edge murderer and cannibalist – “The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”. The story was made famous by books and plays. He proudly pulls out a book about Sweeney Todd with the right spelling and shows me a picture in the last pages depicting Sweeney Todd being led to the gallows and tells me that’s where the story ends. And he laughed in a creepy way. I forced a little laugh while thinking about who would name their business after a mass murderer and also laugh about it. I have since read that the story is not true, but the barber believes it to be non-fiction.
The haircut goes on for a half hour. Ten minutes is normally a long time on my near-bald head, but this guy really knows how to make a mountain out of a mole hill. While sitting there I notice an old picture of… Carlos Santana? I look at Sweeney and realize it is him about 25 years ago and he looked just like my favorite musician, Santana. I ask him if he knows Santana (other than Bob Marley and John and Paul, I believe Carlos Santana is the most recognizable pop musician around the world), but he does not. I think Carlos would not be so happy to have this Sweeney Todd fan as his lookalike. And then the torture began. No, he did not slit my throught although he offered to shave me with one – yikes! Instead, he had his “assistant” enter with some kind of string which he used to attack one of my ears. The “thing” (I am still not sure what it was) was used to pull out hairs from my ears. I was in so much pain that I could not speak. He started to go at my other ear and I yelled for him to get away. I did not fear for my life from these two sadists only because my hands were not tied to the seat.
At this point, I’m not particularly happy, but the haircut is over and it looks OK so things are fine. I ask him how much. He responds with 135 Egyptian pounds or about $25. I could not believe this schmuck suckered me into accepting a service before giving me the fair price quote. I was so stupid to have believed that a common Egyptian not in the tourist business would be immune from this activity. And I can now forget that this is just an Egyptian Muslim rip-off. I should have told him to shove it, but I was totally beaten by the realization that this culture is way worse than I can even imagine. I just paid it and evil-eyed him (I think). So, if you are in Luxor please do not use Sweeney Todd just because he is scum as well as a sadist as well as a fan of a mass-murderer tale 🙂 I’d like to believe my opinion of the people in this country has bottomed out, but that may be a false hope.
Tags: Africa, egypt, Travel
vagabondrick
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