Beauty and the Beasts
So I am learning a lot about beauty as I have said in a previous posting. What strikes me most about the African women that I have seen is how they carry themselves. These folks are very proud people. The women are dressed up in the most brilliantly colorful outfits that I have ever seen. They make the Indian women’s outfits look plain and drab (I can’t wait to get to India to see what’s brewing there!). But there is much moe to it than the clothes.
For one thing, the posture of many of the African women is astounding. You might think you would be sad to see a woman with a 20 liter container of water on her head, a baby strapped to her back and a load of other things in her hands, but when you see the pride and determination being displayed sadness is the last thing on your mind. I dare any of you to put 20-30 kilos on your head. Then walk a few kilometers!!! But if that doesn’t have you appreciating her, the smile that spreads across her face certainly will win you over completely. A lot of the women here are taught not to flaunt the smiles around men, but I certainly get a lot of them returned. And if you watch the women interact with each other these is nothing but smiles. I know we all have the images of poor old Africans slogging through each day, but I guarantee they smile and laugh more in one day than all of America does in a year.
Bright eyes, big smile, incredible posture, immaculate skin color, flawless complexion, purpose in life, focus on the present and determination to get through it all… that’s the beauty of the African woman.
And then there are the beasts. Let’s start with the hippos first. If a hippo moves to your neighborhood, I highly recommend moving quickly. While they are truly hilarious to watch for someone traveling through, they are the most grotesque animals I have seen yet. We went to a pool one day (let’s call it Ben’s Pool since he liked it so much!) and I can tell you that there is no sewage plant in the world more disusting than that place. And they live in it. They love it! Swim on top? Hell no, let’s go diving in it. Hippos fart, belch and defecate all day long. And then there is hippo sex which I was able to watch with twenty other people (that’s just to make sure you don’t think I am the only sick voyeur out here!). The alpha male pushes the much smaller female under water and does his thing for a bit and then repeats for more than I had time to watch (which was plenty since I had a beer in my hand). And don’t think he stops the belching, etc. during this time since that is a constant. Once in a while he let’s her come up for air. The hippos also like to make all kinds of loud noises aside from the ones mentioned. They make these noises around the clock and they would surely keep you up all night if they moved down the street. Finally, they have nasty fights amongst each other. I have seen gaping wounds on many of them which they treat in their sewage homes. If you’re not sold yet on acquiring a hippo, keep in mind that they kill more people in Africa than any other animal. They look slow, but they can be nuclear submarines in water capable of sinking a boat or they can run over you on land quite easily. If that didn’t get you, they have huge teeth to bite your torso in two. Got to love the hippos.
My friend John says his favorite animal is the warthog. Aside from having an ugly face that not even their moms could love, there is a cuteness… I guess. They like to burrow into the ground in search of something to eat. And they have tusks that could do a number on your legs.
I watched a group of vultures eating a small buffalo from a few meters away. We don’t know why a whole buffalo was dead – maybe it succombed to disease or maybe a predator ran away after the kill. The vultures fought with each other with a savageness that I have not seen in any other animal. I had a hard time deciding to watch the fighting of the dissection of the buffalo’s innards. It became easier when they ripped the stomach out (I cannot even begin to describe the stench from that action) and fought each other while ripping it into pieces. I’m not sure what their deal is completely, but I know I saw a couple of large nasty vultures who did not seem interested in the food at all and were very active in attacking other vultures.
My first close encounter with a hyena occurred in the dark while driving to a hot air balloon launch. He was in the roat five meters in front of the truck. The lights were right on him. He stood his ground and stared at us. The stare burned right through us and was absolutely terrifying. He was a big one maybe 75 kilos with massive jaws. I contemplated how many pit bulls and wolves he could chew up for a snack. The hyenas scavenge for carcassses. After the predators have their fill and the vultures eat whatever soft material remains, the hyenas eat the bones. The only thing they can’t eat is the cape buffalo’s horns and the head of the elephant (I imagine tusks, too). They eat so much calcium that their feces is white.
The cape buffalo is just a cow with horns except that a testy old bull will run you down and kill you very quickly. I believe they kill the second most number of humans in Africa although the crocodile seems to also get a lot of mention in these types of conversations. Looking into the eyes of a cape buffalo is absolutely terrifying. A 1000 kilo death machine if you piss it off (get in its range).
There are a lot more beasts out here, but I’ll leave it at that for now. I’ll leave the best (elephants) for my next story. Hopefully I can do that at the airport before I board a plane for Uganda. This is the big unknown for this part of my journey. Supposedly, someone is picking me up at Entebbe this evening and then we go to some farm somewhere in Uganda. Rod Cassidy (Congo guide) and Chris Holt (walking safari guide) both told me that Uganda is their favorite country in Africa so I am excited about this leap…
Tags: Travel
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