Wanderlust Heaven!

And you can find a short video clip of the gig I uploaded onto YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLQM_n1yjdw. I tried to upload more clips but they’re huge and I don’t want to sit in this Internet cafe for the rest of my life. Anyway, go and check it out, if you like the music you can get Prem Joshua’s stuff on iTunes.

What to say about Mumbai? It’s another insane asylum, just much larger and more varied. Massive slums side side-by-side with some of the most expensive real estate in the world. As for the mentality, let’s consider some input from my friend Johann, a Mumbai native and worthy commentor on his home city:

‘Chattrapati Shivaji (whose statue and name are everywhere in Mumbai) was a guerilla fighter whose main claim to fame was that he stabbed the local Muslim king (Afzal Shah, I think) in the back during a meeting when they were discussing peace. Pretty sad when you think about (a) who the great state of Maharashtra chooses to venerate, and (b) the paucity of imagination about whom to name our monuments after.’

Exactly so.

Mumbai grows on you…but it takes a while. That said, it’s a clearinghouse of souls and very crowded. I had a tough time finding a hotel room on short notice, and had to engage the services of Zarine, a former colleague at Monitor, who is a real magician with these sorts of things. She got me a room at Gordon House in Colaba – a nice boutique hotel right in the middle of the action. And I am being literal – the disco was right below my room. That’s why no one else wanted it. I had zero problem with the noise, because I usually stay up late and don’t mind extraneous music and vibrations at any hour. And after I got back from Bandra, I went down to the disco, which is called Polly Esther’s and has a 70s theme. It was packed and I hung out there for 45 minutes till it closed.

After that, I walked across the street to the legendary Bade Miya, a glorified kebab stand which has some of the best late-night food on the planet. I had already eaten a lamb kebab there earlier in the evening – along with some Chinese food at the equally lauded Leopold’s Café – but needed another fix and wanted chicken this time. That was easily arranged…and I stood on the street with hordes of other drunkards who were also consoling themselves for not getting laid by stuffing their faces. Here’s a shot of Bade Miya – you must go there when in Mumbai:

After that, to bed. The bed was comfortable and the room was airconditioned. My room in Goa just has a fan, and I’ve become accustomed to going without A/C. It was odd staying in a 4/5-star place and having all the creature comforts…reminded me of life on the road when I was working.

The next day I flew back to Goa on Air Sahara, the airline whose slogan is ‘Emotionally Yours.’ That doesn’t fill me with comfort. I’d prefer my airline to be ‘robotically yours’ or ‘stoically yours.’ Who wants pilots who cry when the weather turns bad? Whoever came up with ‘Emotionally Yours’ was obviously reading a sophomoric marketing text and taking the importance of appealing to consumers’ higher-order needs a bit too literally.

Before flying I went to the MPNL phone company office in Mumbai to try to track down some old friends, three crazy sisters with whom I spent a lot of time back in ’92 in Mumbai. I’ve seen two of them since, in New York of all places (one at a party, one on the train to the Bronx to see a Yankees game), but have no idea where they are now. I’d love to see ‘em before leaving India. Anyway, MPNL gave me a phone number, which I need to try before this coming weekend, when I return to Mumbai. Let’s see if it works.

Went to Panjim, Goa’s capital, to do a few errands and have lunch with Lisa. I showed her the Hotel Venite, my fave joint in Panjim, but she’s a vegetarian so we shifted over to Delhi Darbar, a Mughlai place that’s dark, airconditioned, and very good. We ate like pigs…discussed her business and opportunities…and just relaxed. I think Lisa has a real chance to expand her restaurant concept and make some serious money, if she wants to work even harder. That’s not a given. Anyway, we’ll keep discussing things and see where it goes.

After lunch I rode over to Old Goa, the former capital of Goa. It was abandoned around 1853 due to frequent outbreaks of cholera…apparently the Portuguese could build some amazing churches (see photos below), but couldn’t keep the water clean. Old Goa is now a vast open-air museum of churches (some still in use) and fields, quite a cool place. I visited during the 500th birth anniversary of St. Francis Xavier, who helped to Christianize India in the 1500s. People were everywhere, sitting on the lawn with their families, milling around, eating and drinking – sort of like India’s version of tailgating, but with Christian Indian women wearing traditional saris – very odd.

You can only imagine the level of rubbish all over the place. Trash cans aren’t in vogue in India. I think it’s time to work on that problem…

Stood in line to see the ‘relics’ (body parts) of St. Francis, and his body itself. The story goes that after he died, 450 years ago or so, his body didn’t rot…it remained whole and pristine for decades. Eventually people started grabbing pieces, and they’re scattered around the world. How would you like it if someone had your clavicle? Anyway, you really can’t see the relics, but the body is in a glass coffin high up on a pedestal, here’s what you can see:

Every 10 years they properly display the body, which I suppose means they take it down from the pedestal and put it at eye level. That won’t happen again till 2014…book your flight now.

Perhaps the most amazing aspect of the entire day was observing Indians actually queuing up. Usually in India people just rush right up to the counter/door and ignore whoever else was in line first. It’s maddening to be at the train ticket counter talking to the clerk and someone just walks up next to you and butts in. I suppose it’s not surprising, given that one billion souls are all trying to survive here, but I would have thought that a former British colony would have mastered the art of the queue. Here’s rare footage of a true Indian queue:

Had some heated political arguments over the course of the week. Needless to say, I was right and everyone else was wrong. But beyond that, it became all too apparent that there are still loads of people who believe the Jews control the U.S. and the world. My first reaction to hearing this shit is to accuse them of lunacy/idiocy, or to tell them not to believe everything they read and hear…but there’s more to it than that. It’s all part of the so-called ‘war of civilizations’ that, amazingly, the U.S. and its friends seem to be losing, at least in the arena of public opinion. Many people really believe that Jews control the U.S., that Israel is its thin edge of the wedge, and that we’re collectively ‘the bad guys.’ I guess it’s time to admit that yes, we Jews do control the world. Kidding aside – how many Jewish Congressmen are there? And even if 20% of Wall Street is Jewish…the other 80% is not. These are the sorts of metrics used by those who believe that Jews control everything. And I always thought the Cabots and Lodges (and Bushes) were the real puppeteers. But hearing the sentiments of the hoi polloi, I don’t particularly want to see a Jewish President – why ‘prove’ their paranoia? I’d rather just continue to control things from behind the curtains…oh baby!

Perhaps it’s time for ‘us’ to devote more resources to marketing and alliance-building and less to stupid military initiatives. Which, of course, is code for impeaching President Fuckhead. The ‘Iraq Study Group’ just concluded that Bush’s Iraq policies have been a dismal failure. No kidding…we didn’t need a blue-ribbon panel to figure that out, or what to do next for that matter. We’re losing the military war, that’s for sure…but there’s no reason for us to lose the marketing war. So I truly hope that the new Democratic Congress doesn’t get mired in useless crap like bashing China and India for ‘taking our jobs,’ or ‘immigration reform.’ The U.S. unemployment rate is as low as it can go. Let’s get a move on and deal with the real issues and opportunities: ending the war; improving education; fixing the healthcare system; and, of course, giving yours truly a very large lump sum of money for writing this blog. Over & out.