true life planet

 I´m a bit behind, as far as blog entries go…I´m going to try to post a few right now, but..it depends on whether this computer is needed by someone else or not.

¨When I find myself alone in trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be, let it be.¨-John Lennon

So, I´ve got a sweet little dog that I left behind back in the USA.

How can I go around the world for several years and leave a loved pet behind? What kind of person would do such a thing?

Well, to answer that question(and believe me, I´ve asked this question of myself plenty of times over the past few months), the answer is: if you are meant to go, to travel, to experience life in the way that travel makes you experience it, these things such as having pets, having loved ones, having a life that you temporarily leave behind is part of the package. I´ve met countless travelers whose dogs, cats, fish,..even children are being temporarily taken care of by others so that they can follow their heart and follow the travelers path to wherever it takes them.

But, it doesn´t mean that you do not worry about those you leave behind. In fact, up until recently, I´ve been extremely preoccupied with leaving my dog behind. In spite of the fact that she is happy as a clam and well taken care of, showered with attention and love, and living with her other animal friends, I have worried.

Recently, I recieved a series of emails telling me she was ill and may need surgery. I was literally going out of my mind, feeling selfish for being on my trip and feeling like I should be there to take care of things.

Due to time differences, I could not be in contact with her caregiver at a normal hour, and so was hearing about things at a time when I could not email a reply back.

Unable to find an internet connection that was open at a compatible hour, I spent an entire evening stressed out and not sleeping well. I felt alone, stranded, and out of sorts.

The following morning I had no choice but to catch by bus to Burgos, as I could not afford another day in the city of Pamplona, and needed to get to a refuge, where I could get an inexpensive bed in a refuge.

On arrival in Burgos, I walked out the bus terminal and about a block later found a small, somewhat unimpressive church..and walked in thru a side door. A cleaning crew was cleaning the sacristy, and on their tiny radio was playing John Lennon singing, ¨Let It Be¨.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice message, I thought to myself-but a bit difficult to practice in reality.

I walked to the refuge, got myself a bed, took a freezing cold shower, and decided to walk around the city.

Walking down a small dark street, trying to make my way to the famous Gothic cathedral(which I could see peeking out above the city, but seemed somewhat elusive), I was standing in front of a beautiful little house, bursting with window boxes of geraniums, when a car pulled up alongside me.

A man opened the car door, his car radio still on, and what was playing, but…

¨Let It Be¨, by John Lennon.

Strange, I thought. It was like an hour since I´d heard it the last time, in the church.

The man started talking to me. ¨Pilgrim?¨, he asked.

¨Si, Si¨, I said. We started talking about his city and the sights to be seen. It turned out I had come on an auspicious day, the day of the fiesta for the White Virgin, who is housed in the huge Gothic cathedral. Apparently you can ask anything of her and she will grant your wish on this day of the year-if you believe.

His mother then came outside, she was wearing street clothes, but over them had on a rosy pink padded housecoat, and her hair was tied up in a bright green scarf the color of pea soup. She seemed to be in the middle of housecleaning.

She apparently took a liking to me and invited me inside the house. Before I know it, we were eating a very nice lunch of homemade garlic soup(that had what seemed to be poached eggs in it), chorizo,bread, olives, cheese, and a very nice wine.

We spent about an hour talking about the Camino de Santiago.

She said, ¨People come to Spain to do the Camino. What they do not understand is that one does not do the Camino, the Camino does you. People think they decide to do the Camino, but it is God who decides who does the Camino.¨

Wow. People who actually talk about God. I´m not used to this-even on the Camino, God is not mentioned much, in spite of the fact that it is historically a religious pilgrimage!

I started telling her about my dog and my worries that I could not know what was happening, whether she was ok, and so on.

She said, ¨God will take care of your dog-you shouldn´t worry. You need to just continue on your Camino.¨

I left their house, but, secretly, I was still a bit worried. A tiny bit.

I decided to take a bus to get to the cathedral, as my ankle was a bit swollen and walking on it too much seemed unwise. While waiting for the bus to arrive, I talked for about 10 minutes with a young, black, dreadlocked man from Uganda who told me about what it was like to be young and black in Spain(not easy).

The bus arrived and we both got on.

He sat down next to me, first taking off his jacket.

That´s when I read his t-shirt: It had a picture of John Lennon, and the words, ¨Let It Be.¨

Very strange, I thought.

Then he took off his ipod for a moment, and I could hear the music playing…it was of course, John Lennon, singing , ¨Let It Be¨.

He got off before me, and standing up, put on his jacket, then flashed me a brilliant white, perfect smile, and he said, ¨Let it be, man.¨

I had told him nothing of my worries.

Suddenly, I got it. I suppose I have to be hit over the head a million billion times to get something to sink in, but eventually..I do actually hear what is being said to me.

I got off at my stop, and realized in that moment how much of my life was spent worrying. How much of life, the way we design it, with all of our busyness and so on is set up by us around worrying about things we can do absolutely nothing about.(Like death for example).

I realized that if I just have faith, everything will turn out exactly as it should be, as it was meant to be. Me worrying about it has no effect whatsoever.

I was standing looking at the huge, lacey cathedral thinking these thoughts when it began pouring rain. I had no raincoat, no umbrella-the rain came out of nowhere.

I walked into a little shop, selling postcards, to get out of the downpour.

A woman behind the counter asked, ¨Pilgrim?¨

I said yes, I was a pilgrim. She handed me a brand new umbrella, red with blue polka dots.

¨No, no. Don´t pay. It is a gift.¨, she said.

Smiling, and knowing that everything really does happen in it´s own perfect time, I took the umbrella, said thankyou, and walked out across the square towards the cathedral doors.

When I got inside, I was so completely blown away by the beauty of the place that my mind went blank.

I realized how much the worries of life-from my dog to money to whatever-the concerns, the day to dayness of my life has gotten in the way of my spiritual life. How I have allowed these things to get in the way of truely trusting that everything will be as it should be.

And at that moment, I believe my spiritual journey on the Camino began.

gigi

 P.S. My dog is fine, by the way. Thankyou to all of those people who are helping with her care. You are all with me on this journey.

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