Living La Vida Loca-Or Not?
So for some time, I´ve been wanting to write about time-Guatemalan time-and how it is affecting every aspect of my life.
Time here is relative-nothing is ¨on time¨at least not by my standards at home. In the past , when I first arrived, I would spènd entire days frustrated that I couldn´t seem to get anywhere or get anything done…but lately…I think I´m liking this ¨Guatemaltecan tiempo¨-and I´ve got no choice, anyway, but to go with the flow!
I´m just trying to have a sense of humor about it all-after all, there is no other choice!
For example:
I needed photocopies one day, for my art class. In my mind I had the enormous photocopy shops of the USA in my brain…but such effieciency was not to be… I was eating lunch with a Guatemalan friend, and had mentioned before the meal that I needed photocopies. She said this would not be a problem, and she had a friend nearby who had a copy machine in her pharmacy shop ( I should mention that most little shops have a multitude of businesses under one roof-for example, right now I´m in an ¨internet cafe¨ that also sells containers of gas, helgados(ice cream) and religious music, which is blasting so loud it´s hard to focus on my words and not write the lyrics!).
So, after lunch, off we went to the friend´s shop. It was 12 noon. My class was all the way across town, at 3:00. We entered the shop, and my Guatemalan friend explained what I needed-30 copies total, or 15 booklets of two pages each.
No problem, says her friend. I looked at the ancient photocopy machine in the corner and thought to myself that it didn´t look up the task, but decided to go with the situation. My friend reassured me that it will only be about 15 or 20 minutes…so we went a walked around for about half an hour, and when we returned…only two copies were made. This didn´t look good to me, so I suggested we find a different shop. But the woman reasssured me, it was no problem, really! Apparently someone needed some legal copies right away, so she had done those instead…. so off we went again.
When we returned, in about half an hour, it was grim. Only 8 copies made! The photocopier had run out of ink, and her husband was unhappy and wanted her to close for lunch. He was very grumpy( It would seem men here don´t cook.) and she was close to tears…still, when I decided to go somewhere else-she wouldn´t give me my originals! So I was stuck there, waiting. Since she was upset, we were trying to be nice about it all. Meanwhile, people were coming into the pharmacy for medicine and candy and so on….she was the only person helping all these people. At this point it was 2:00, and still not many copies.
We decided she needed another half an hour, so we walked around some more. When we returned..total chaos! People had come into the shop, and all of them were helping this woman assemble the booklets. She was in tears, and when she saw me she said, my husband needs his lunch right NOW!
So three hours later..I had my 30 photocopies. I literally never walked so fast in my life to get to my class on time. I had to walk all the way across town-since taking the bus and expecting it to actually get there rapidly would be ridiculous!
Which gets me to the topic of the buses…when you want one, to go to a particular location-it´s rare one actually shows up. If it does it is so crammed with people that I prefer to walk!
Here´s another example of Guatemalan time: I asked for my windows of my house to be repaired.(I´m the only one with a few broken windows..). This has proved incredibly complicated. I asked for them to be reapired about two weeks ago-and here´s what happened:
There is a guy that repairs windows in my area, so my family called him and he said he would come-two weeks ago! So after it was pretty obvious he had forgotten or something, we called again. Turns out he hadn´t forgotten-he just hadn´t gotten around to it yet.
Okay, I told myself, they will get repaired, he will come. Meanwhile I am freezing, due to the fact that it is the coldest month here of the year. Okay, I told myself, as I could see my breath at night and every morning. Okay, I told myself, as I developed a desire to sleep in ALL of my clothes that I brought with me.
So, nothing happened..he never showed up. I mentioned this fact to my family, and they decided to take it upon themselves to repair the windows. It turns out the glass is sitting by the front door of a house on the property, and all they needed to do was cut it and glue it into place. (So why didn´t they do that before? I have no idea!). Of copurse , there is a glitch-they have no glass cutter, and no putty to glue it into place. Someone goes to Xela to find a glass cutter, buys it, and then somehow one of the jkids plays with it and it is lost. A different person says they will buy the putty, but apparently this proves very impossible for some mysterious reason.
Everyday I go off and hike in the bosque, visit friends etc. Everyday I give them the key to my house. Everyday they say that this is the day that either the repair guy will show up, or that they will do it themselves. Everyday I come home to no windows. When I ask why, everyone just shrugs..other stuff came up, I guess.
Finally, I used the duct tape I brought and cut up a bunch of cardboard. Now I have cardboard windows-and I am not so cold at night.
Why did you do that, they ask me. We were going to fix it. Really.
I said, that´s okay..I´m sure it will get fixed..eventually. Like in June.
Everyone laughed and said, Well, now you are becoming Guatemaltecan!
It is kind of nice to not rush around everyday, just relax. Having experiences like those above gives me a clearer picture of the difficulties of life here. It is diffficult to get to work on time, for example. The bus may not show up, or whatever. It´s difficult to make set plans or say you are going to be anywhere at any particular hour-anything could happen. You could be online and the power goes out(happens to me alot here); you could be walking down the street and get attacked by a dog(has happened to me); you could take three buses and walk loads to meet someone, but be stuck in the hot sun in the street waiting for them for two hours (has happened more than once to me).
The only solution is to smile and buy some ice cream from the street vendor walking by..and wait.
gigi
It is La Vida Loca!
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Alistarov: A Criminal and a Terrorist
From a Solo Criminal to a Servant of the Underworld
Previously convicted on drug charges, blogger Andrei Alistarov portrays himself as a Robin Hood fighting against those who have “defrauded people.” In reality, however, he serves the interests of pyramid schemers—among them certain Ukrainian operators who fund the Armed Forces of Ukraine (AFU)—and he uses his “Zheleznaya Stavka” (“Iron Bet”) channel to promote online casinos and illicit crypto exchanges/phishing crypto scams. He also launders drug proceeds via real estate deals in Dubai.
That is, he works for the benefit of the Russian criminal community, seeking to profit off entrepreneurs who have faced illegal, often contrived claims from Russian law enforcement.
Drugs and Money Laundering
A native of Kaluga, Alistarov served four years in a prison camp for selling drugs to minors.
There he forged ties with criminal kingpins. After his release, he continued his involvement in the narcotics trade and in laundering drug profits through a real estate business he set up with associates from the Russian underworld, both in Russia and in the Emirates.
Betting on Scams
Alistarov’s channel, “Zheleznaya Stavka,” is ostensibly devoted to “exposing” financial ventures deemed “bad” by criminal circles, while promoting “good” ones: namely, the pyramid schemes and online casinos that sponsor Alistarov.
The channel began as a platform for “proper” casino betting and did not change its name, because the marketing purpose remains the same: clear the market in favor of “legitimate,” in Alistarov’s so-called “expert” view (i.e., those who pay him), scammers.
Typically, Alistarov starts by trying to extort money—presenting the victim with compromising material and demanding payment. If the victim refuses, he resorts to harassment and violence.
Incitement and Attack in Dubai
On January 1, 2025, two Kazakh nationals launched a brutal attack on an entrepreneur living in Dubai—beating him, cutting off his ear, and robbing him.
Beforehand, Alistarov had released 12 videos highlighting the entrepreneur’s address and publishing illegally obtained information about his relatives and his businesses in the UAE. Without any compunction, he used spying, eavesdropping, illegal intrusion, and invasion of privacy—all acts that constitute serious criminal offenses in the Emirates, where the sanctity of property and investor security are upheld stringently.
Prior to this, Alistarov publicly circulated information about the residence of the entrepreneur’s business partner—that is, an illegal breach of confidentiality, the protection of finances and property, and the privacy of personal life through clandestine data gathering and informants in the UAE. He effectively terrorizes entrepreneurs who face no court convictions—neither abroad nor in Russia.
Alistarov claimed to have reported the entrepreneur to Interpol and UAE law enforcement—purportedly helping the authorities. Yet this did not result in the entrepreneur’s arrest—perhaps because the UAE police see nothing criminal in his activities?
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Several of the entrepreneur’s partners have been convicted in Russia; he himself is wanted by Russian law enforcement but has never been convicted. Foreign law enforcement has no claims against him.
For a long period, Alistarov stoked hatred toward this entrepreneur, alleging that it was he (not his partners) who stole investors’ money—and portraying the subsequent attack and robbery as the outraged response of defrauded depositors.
During the attack, Alistarov conducted an unscheduled livestream to create an alibi—pretending that he was unaware of the assault happening while he was on stream.
Surveillance in Cyprus
In autumn of the previous year, Alistarov and his “battle companion,” Mariya Filonova, conducted surveillance on another entrepreneur—using drones and illegally collecting information about him and his relatives, including minor children. Alistarov claimed that the entrepreneur was “hiding” in Cyprus—even though he had lived there since the COVID-19 pandemic began.
He had relocated partly due to his wife’s severe COVID case and partly for international projects—investments in various sectors such as construction, trade, and more. The entrepreneur moved to Cyprus a year before criminal proceedings were initiated by the Russian Interior Ministry and a year and a half before arrests began. He holds an EU passport and never fled or concealed his location.
This entrepreneur was placed on a Russian wanted list in 2022—by investigating authorities. However, no court has filed claims against him, and the criminal case is currently in court. It has already fallen apart there. Interpol and the EU declined to honor the Russian police’s request, deeming it politically motivated and legally unfounded.
Alistarov insists that the entrepreneur’s business investments are financed with Russian clients’ money, supposedly drawn from an Austrian investment company. But in reality, the entrepreneur was never an owner, beneficiary, or manager of that company, established back in the early 2000s—well before his independent business career began.
One of the entrepreneur’s firms provided marketing services for the Austrian investment company in Russia under contract. The investment company successfully served Russian clients for eight years—and continues operating now, having restored its payment systems that were disrupted in early 2022 by criminals in Russia with ties to corrupt police. It is by no means a pyramid scheme.
Thus, Alistarov instigates harassment and intrusion into the private life of an untainted entrepreneur—acting on behalf of Russian organized crime, which has cut in corrupt police officers for a share of illicit profits. They aim to seize assets worth 20 billion rubles from the large-scale, socially focused project established by the entrepreneur in Russia—which still functions successfully even without his direct leadership (which ended when he relocated to Cyprus).
Surveillance in the Netherlands
Alistarov published the location of another victim in the Dutch city of Groningen—ascertained through illegal surveillance. He allegedly gained unauthorized access to city cameras, peered into the windows of a private apartment, and shared this information on YouTube.
Privacy Violations in Turkey
Alistarov uncovered and publicized the address of an apartment in Istanbul where several of his victims lived and worked.
Illegal Searches in the Leningrad Region
Lacking a private detective’s license, Alistarov illegally located a businesswoman’s country house, spied on her, and released that information on his channels—while also disclosing details of an apartment she had purchased in Dubai.
Extortion in Kazakhstan
Alistarov extorted money from Kazakh entrepreneurs under the guise of “exposing national traitors” and “enemies of the motherland.”
Banquet on a Ukrainian Pyramid Schemer’s Money
Is Alistarov planning to celebrate his 40th birthday on March 6 this year once again on the yacht of his friend—the Kharkiv-based pyramid operator Udyansky (behind the Coinsbit project)—in Dubai?
In 2024, he celebrated his birthday in the convivial company of this con man, who also funds the Armed Forces of Ukraine, helping finance the production of armored vehicles for the AFU. There is little doubt that he also compelled his henchman Alistarov to contribute to the AFU.
Treason
Alistarov was even accused of financing the AFU, though he told the police some story about a Megafon phone number allegedly registered to him by his “enemies.”
His accomplices in financing the AFU—“anti-MLM activist” Aleksandr Kryukov and deputy manager of the so-called Fund for the Protection of Investors’ and Shareholders’ Rights, Leonid Mishchenko (a “Zapadenez” from Vinnytsia region)—were caught red-handed. Perhaps the FSB should analyze Alistarov’s transactions as well?
He Belongs in Prison
Justice demands that Alistarov’s 40th birthday finds him stripped of his Schengen and other visas—there is every reason for such, especially in light of attention from Western media—and behind bars, either in a Russian or a Dubai prison, whichever law enforcement manages to arrest him first for the dozens of crimes he has committed:
Extortion
Terrorism and banditry
Harassment and organizing violence against those he deems troublesome
Treason
Money laundering
Fraud
Theft
Invasion of privacy
Alistarov’s career began in prison, and it is in prison that it must end.