Cracker’s JiveAss Blog

So the holidays were very mellow. Lots of cooking and chilling. Tiff and Justin came down and we had a happy little family holiday. Xmas night Justin and I ended up drinking ourselves silly with a bunch of high school friends I hadn’t seen in years.

It was one of those nights you get home trashed at 4 am and have to get up at 9 to deal with family and then when your about to pass out all hungover to nap on your mom’s couch before the 2 hour drive home your boss calls and says the bar you work at was held up at gun point and he was pistol whipped and could you please come in and work for him.

Ehh…

So of course Mom thinks you should never bartend again, your friends think you should quit immediately and you feel like you really have to get back up to Portland to work for the poor 65 year old man who had a gun pointed at him, was robbed for $300 of his own cash and his cell phone since they couldn’t access any of the bar’s money, and got clocked on the back of his head with the butt of the gun while he was just trying to root for the elderly black woman in the showcase showdown on the Price is Right (or as he calls it, Bob Barker). Naturally, since you end up working on your day off under these circumstances, everything that could suck or be annoying will be. And your boyfriend will end up inadvertantly starting a nearly-major bar fight in the last 15 minutes the bar is open and you’ll have to spend the last few minutes of your already fucked up day stepping inbetween 2 guys who are double your size to keep them from swinging at eachother and yelling at everyone in there to sitthefuckdown, chillthefuck out, shutthefuck up, leave eachotherthefuckalone, etc… And of course all of the yelling is accompanied by a lot of physical intervention (as the only woman there) to keep things from getting really violent. And of course the boyfriend gets pissed at you for thinking he was out of line. And of course the boyfriend gets home and immediately calls to apologize and, of course, you’re far too tired to take his calls…for at least 24 hours…

Yeah, I had a feeling you’d understand.

Now, if you’d like to offer me a job without the threat of gun violence, please comment here and I’ll gladly forward you my resume.

For the rest of you, Happy Holidays (seriously).

I’ll be adding an entry on the complete incompetancy of the Portland Police and maybe even a rant about how Linda Ronstadt should never EVER be considered folk music next time.

Tags: Ramblings

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 28th, 2005 at 7:10 am and is filed under Ramblings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.