I must first say that I just wrote this entire story out and lost it by hitting some wrong button and am now too annoyed to be eloquent or witty. I’m just trying to express my utter disdain with the Portland Police, with drunks who get pervy, with owners of bars who set up cameras to spy on every drink I pour and every transaction I make that they can watch 24/7 from home on their computer…and stupid drivers, and malls, and people who are walking cliches, and bad grammar and cheap hot sauce.
So, in the previous saga involving the man threatening to shoot up the whole bar I’d explained how the cops had urged the would-be shooter to return the following day to resolve his issues. And then we get robbed within 10 days. What I didn’t explain was how, 12 hours after the robbery, I was working and 2 cops enter the bar. They look around and when I finally made eye contact with them I asked them if I could help them, assuming they were simply in there to check up on us. The cop explains they’re looking for someone who may have robbed the video store down the street at gun point, to which I respond “Oh, you mean like what happened here earlier today?” The cop looks at me blankly and says “Uh…you were robbed today too?” and proceeds to ask me for a description that JJ (the one who was pistol whipped and taken for his own money and cell phone) had given them when the robbery actually occured. The cops got on shift in our neighborhood and had absolutely no idea that an armed robbery had taken place that morning in their beat. And here I’d thought they were coming in to check back in with us and see that everything was cool.
So tonight a cop comes in about a half an hour before we close the bar in order to “establish ties with the late night businesses in the neighborhood” yet he had no idea we’d had someone threaten to shoot us or had been robbed at gun point. After I told him how the police had helped in both situations he shook his head ashamed and offered that I must not feel very safe. No shit. Then he went on to say that over the holidays the experienced police officers are on vacation and that these types of communication breakdowns are what happen as a result. So evidently our tax dollars are only at their most effective when the average police officer doesn’t want a day off. Lesson being: don’t be a victim of crime in the months of June, July, August or December because the “good cops” just might be at DisneyLand, Boca Raton, the Grand Canyon, Wall Drug or Niagra Falls. And really it might be best to consult with your local precinct before getting robbed, attacked, hit by a car, murdered or dosed with the date rape drug just to ensure that the police on duty will be able to competently process your case and also pass your case on to any other relevant authorities (including the next guy on shift). To be fair, the guy who came in tonight was really cool and I felt for the first time that someone had actually listened to what we were saying, but his advice was that we were more likely to find out who did it through the regulars at the bar than to rely on the police.
So, thank you Portland Police. I will keep this in mind the next time I’m threatened. But a bit of advice to ya’ll: when I get done with a shift, it’s my responsibility to inform the next bartender if we’re out of anything, if anyone has had too much to drink, if lemons need to be cut, if the bathroom’s low on TP, etc. It might help if you establish the same pattern. Tell the next cop on duty if the squad car is low on gas, if the neighborhood bar was robbed at gun point and the robber is at large, if there’s road construction one of the main roads, if everyone with any common sense has taken a day off, if the coffee shop is closed (sorry, I can’t help the snark)….
Just a thought.
And also this week at work (or en route) I’ve been grabbed by people multiple times, been called “tits,” nearly hit by someone while driving and then honked at and flipped off by the same person (do you drivers really deal with this on a daily basis??), passive-agressively asked by my boss to shit talk my coworkers and told I was the prettiest, smartest girl in the bar by a guy on his 8th beer. I will keep the hot sauce and Linda Ronstadt bitching for a more appropriate time.
But, I won the lottery today so who really cares?…well, kinda. I won $3 on Powerball which I play weekly in hopes of starting Liz’s and my Bollywood careers and $44 on a Megabucks ticket I had to buy after I rang it in wrong for a customer who wanted one. Next week we’ll win millions. For sure. In the mean time I’m happy with my small windfall. I’ll toss it into my newly created travel savings account.
In the mean time, sorry for all of the whiney entries, especially written so half-assed, half-drunk at 4 am after already accidentally deleting one smarter version. Things have been a little difficult lately on the job front, but I swear I’m going to start actually documenting travel related issues. My application to the job in France has to be done in a couple of weeks and I still can’t remember a damn word of French. We’ll try and focus soon and then you can listen to a whole different set of difficulties! I just hope that they’re a little more relevant to things I think are really important.