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Anatomy of my ego..a course in miracles Ch.4,938,321,083,048,704,999

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

Running Up That Hill

(it’s the soundtrack for this post)

All the misunderstandings, maybe I could’ve, we could’ve taken a step back and see where all the places where we don’t love ourselves instead of coming out of reaction, hurt and ego.

And I see how I still need to grow in more places, that I’m not perfect still, that I’m not so damn righteous, and where I want to just protect myself.

Finding the new ways of being, forging a new path, unknown, and still doing, being the best that I can. Why do I feel the need to be the best, most understanding, most enlightened person. I can only learn and do better the next time, I can only grow and be, when it stops who knows, whom I’ll be with God only knows. Why it feels and seems so important to me to be with a man, I don’t know. [read on]

Posted in The Path of Life | 1 Comment »

Mama Love’s Blog….

Tuesday, November 27th, 2007

healingcommunication.blogspot.com

Here’s someone I can relate to and a subject I am currently dealing with….one thing I’m doing my best to be, is to realize the dream I am in. It’s a way of detaching from the stuff, and know that I am not separate from god. But for me it’s been really difficult (I said difficult not sugarcoating it with CHALLENGE) because I’m not sure then what the purpose is if everything is purely a dream including the body that is typing this. Other stuff I understand, yes, we, collectively, humans created this language I am using, this computer I am typing on, the clothes that I am wearing, the mug I am drinking my hot lemon water (tea), in which a human grew a lemon, and someone sold the lemon to me, and the chair that I am sitting in at the desk that someone created….all of these I could call gifts, but then that would also be part of the illusion, and exposes how attached I am to all this stuff.

Yes, I’ve been reading or doing the A Course In Miracles and reading the book, The Disappearance of the Universe by Gary R. Renard. Does it show?

It’s really hard to write that publicly, to expose myself, to actually write god without sounding evangelical (ooh, did I just make a judgment) but that was the purpose of this to give camaraderie to others, to know that yes, people have multi-dimensions and aren’t UBER positive ALL the time. Yes, I sometimes cannot stand others as I’m sure they cannot stand me, and as we all know, when we see things in other people we don’t like, it’s because we don’t like those same or similar aspects in ourselves. It’s a place where I do not love myself. So it’s never about the other person, it’s all about me, how self-absorbed, huh?
So I salute Sheryl for being in her Truth and having the courage To Be in All Her Glory. Keep it up, it’s encouraging to me, you inspired me enough to get back to the blog…but now I’ve got to get back to the business of finishing my calender….(shameless plug) that I’ll be glad to let everyone know about and how you can get your hands on a HOT, SLICK, 2008 calender and travel back to Nepal with me as you gain a more intimate view of my MotherLand.

Did you see how quickly I can revert back to the dream? A friend of mine that leads a meditation group, says, why not enjoy the illusion? But first I have to remember that I’m in one and to quote so eloquently (the ego’s gotta know, but I’ve been working with the ego and teaching it to be more helpful), what is the purpose of me knowing what the dream is and “how to interpret the images you are seeing”…..

Or as Albert Einstein said, A human being is part of a whole called by us “Universe”, a part limited in space and time. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.  This delusion is a kind of prison to us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.  We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive.

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