Where in the World is Markmen Radtkiego?

I tried calling Hans (Swiss relative) right after my last post. Now, the Hans I was expecting supposedly speaks pretty good English. The guy on the other end definately didn’t. After a few attempts at explaining myself (in English, of course), he got very angry. I’m pretty sure he started yelling about me about his telephone service, thinking that I was with the phone company. Or maybe he was threatening to call the phone company. Either way, I’m not sure what they would do about it. “Sir, I’m sorry, we can’t stop people from speaking English to you on the phone. No, we don’t have computers that do that sort of thing.”

Speaking of computers, I had an idea for a digital camera today. It would have a GPS reciever in it, and would store GPS metadata with the images. Once you got home, you could see you pictures by spatial location, besides just the time you took them. Then, when after a long trip, you don’t look at a picture and say, “Was that St. Peter’s or St. Paul’s?”

I had my first Italian stereotype reinforced before I even got Italy. I was on an Italian high-speed train from Art-Goldou, Switz. headed for Milano. We only went one stop before the conductors ordered everyone off the train and onto a smaller, low-speed train. I managed to nab a seat, but gave it up. (As a rule of thumb, I give up my seat to men with gray hair and women who look old enough to be someone’s mom.) I ended up standing in the bicycle car (which is essentially a cattle car with hooks in the ceiling) with a dozen other people. It was actually a very cool experience because the big door was slid all the way open and I leaned on the bar and had a completely unobstructed view of the Alps for about 3 hours. Anyway, in meantime, I made friends with the woman who took my seat and the two kids who were with her (her son and his girlfriend). They’re from Malibu, and, as far as I can tell, typical Malibu people. They weren’t very experienced travellers, so I helped them get new tickets in Milano (because we all missed our connecting train). We’re going to be getting dinner in a little bit.

Some of you have emailed me with suggestions for things to do (besides the obvious) in Rome and Florence. Please, keep them coming. Florence seems to be in a state of controlled decay. It’s like it’s been rolling down a hill since some time in the Middle Ages, and instead of stopping it and pushing it back up the hill, the people have decided to sell tickets to watch it roll. And all the famous, historic churches are under construction.

Funny country.

I was able to upload one picture before the Internet connection here in Luzern crapped out: Stone Lion, entering South London. Yaniv says it looks overcast. Sherwin, do you want to fix the levels in Photoshop and get back to me? And how is that T-shit design coming?

Luzern is a wonderful city. I walked across a bridge that was built before Columbus discovered America (it’s almost 600 years old). There are 65 different paintings over your head as you walk across the bridge, depicting The Dance of Death. Part of the old stockade that used to protect the city is still standing. And, coolest of all, there’s a castle up on a hill (maybe it’s only a chateau — I’m no buildingologist).

I spent the day at the beach. No babes — well, there were babes, but they were babies, not BABES *makes googly eyes*. The silt in the water provides a very interesting texture to walk on. The silt is so rich with oxygen, that each step you take causes dozens of little air bubbles to shoot up your leg, and it looks like everyone is farting little farts. (I know I had promised no more fart posts, but this post isn’t ABOUT farts.)

I tried to call my relative (uncle? great-uncle?), Hans, but got voicemail. I’ll try again after this Internet session, but it unfortunately doesn’t look like I’ll get to meet him this time. I’m leaving for Firenze (Florence) at 1:30. Maybe we could meet for lunch.

I’m going to walk back to the hostel on a path that runs along the river. On the way, I’ll stop and take a dip if I feel like it (I probably will). I hope you’re jealous.

Greetings from the library at ETH Zürich. If anyone asks, I'm just going to pretend to be a foreign grad student, and then act very confused. Charged battery for camera; taking pictures again. Went to a carnival on the lake. ... [Continue reading this entry]