BootsnAll Travel Network



Vietnam (jan 27 – Feb 26 2006)

After only 6 days in Cambodia, we move into Vietnam. Our whole goal is to get to a place before the Vietnamese New Year. It supposedly crazy….like New Years and Birthdays and all celebrations rolled into one! If we don’t get there early, then we may be out of luck for any kind of accomodation. Our bus was supposed to take us all the way through to Saigon. It stops short of the border at this shit-hole of a restauarnt. At this point in our travels we’re getting REALLY tired of always being taken to the bus driver’s family owned restaurant on the way to a destination. We never eat at them……they’re little hole in the wall places, and we’ve had enough stomach bugs to know to avoid eating there. We’ve stopped looking in the “kitchen” area anywhere we eat. It would turn your stomach to see the supposed cleanliness of most of these places. We have realized however that the body can deal with some nastiness if eaten in moderation…….Plus we think alcohol kills a lot of things, so we take this under advisement everytime we eat!

We remove our limited luggage from the bus at the border and wait for the driver to open the underneath luggage compartment to get the rest of our stuff. Instead he helps himself to food and sits to eat. I ask and point to our luggage, they say they don’t know what I’m saying and that may be true but when you see me pointing at some luggage, pointing at the luggage compartment and pointing at the border, you think you’d get the point………so we wait. And we wait and we wait and we wait and we never eat anything……..

One hour later, “Happy Tours” bus driver opens the luggage compartment and points to the border. Pretty much, you need to drag your stuff there now that you have sat here for an hour and hopefully spent lots of money on his food at this shitty restaurant!!!! We could have been there 1 hour ago! We grab our stuff and head off. Andre controls he profanities a little, I am quite proud of him although I know he has made a point. Now we were subject to bribes with the border patrol. “Passport please!” we hand it over and guys fill in a form, then they hand it back to us and in a low voice say “1 dollar, 1 dollar” We pretend we don’t here them, cause we’re angry and pissed off from the restaurant and we don’t have the patience. We say “Happy New Year” smile and walk off…….First gauntlet passed. We walk past a huge group of tourists and are waved through to the next bribe window. Here they want money for a Health Certifcate they are issuing!! We don’t have Vietnam dong, they ask for USD, we say we have none, although we do, so we have to hand over Cambodian kip. They’re not happy, we only have the equivalent of 20 cents in kip but they take it and move us through. We paid them b/c we thought this was the end of the run, but nope. Now there’s another table that wants your receipt for something we got at the last table, we pass it over and now finally make it through to the final guard. “Oh, problem, big problem!! You have no stamp!” I have no idea what stamp he’s talking about. I guess through that whole stage of desks and clerks waving us though, no one stamped our entry into Vietnam……………we have to go back to the beginning now behind the largest tour group ever. We wait and talk to a couple of people from Sweden who tell us they paid the first guys who asked for their passports $5USD each!!! This whole place reminds me of the Bill Lynch shows where everyone has their own kiosk and a new game for you to play where you’ll always lose!!! Since we had read this in our Lonely Planet book, we were prepared for the bribery. But not that we were going to play along with it.

After we finally get our entry stamp, we now had to explain to the Bill Lynch carnies that we had already played their game and we have no more money. Of course they didn’t recogize us and couldn’t understand how we already had our Health Certificate…AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! But we finally prevail and get through. Andre wanted to go into the duty free but I thought it was a bad idea…..They’d see you had money and we’d get nailed for something.

After the border, we’re hearded into a garage in the baking 1pm sun to wait for our connecting bus. We also realize that we not only have to wait for our bus but we have to wait for the other people who were on our bus who are still back at the shitty restaurant to figure out that they need to cross the border themselves and then run the gauntlet of the border guys! We’re supposed to reach Saigon by 2:30pm…….it’s 1:30pm now……there’s no way. I sit with the bags and Andre walks around to find a taxi. The whole place is pretty much deserted…..it’s the holiday season and people are going home so not much luck……..We talked to a guy that we befriended on the same bus who said that the last guard at the border wanted $15 for allowing him to pass. He made a fuss, the dude in charge came out and the minions fled. He didn’t have to pay anything.

The people running the “Happy Bus Tours” are a little angry that I won’t go inside their sweat box. Although it is cooler in there I really don’t want to talk to them. Another 40 minutes goes by, no sign of the bus and not many more people have figured out they have to get themselves across the border. Travelling this way makes you feel like people are always trying to take you for something………..Then, Andre yells over to me, I go and he has scored a private car ride to the beach!!! It’s a 5 hour ride from here, but that means that we can bypass Saigon for now and not have to spend a night there. Air conditioned, leg room, awesome!!!!! Sure we paid some bucks for it ($75), but we think it’s better than losing our minds or hurting someone and we won’t have to fork out $40 for a hotel in Saigon that we still have to find AND we then we’d still have to book a bus tomorrow and probably stop at another shit-hole restaurant – the never ending saga!!! The money was well worth it!!!!

Another guy was also looking for a ride into Saigon. Said he was fed up with the unpredicatbility of the whole thing and it was really getting to him. He also got lucky and scored a $5 ride into the city. Have the other passengers found their way to Saigon yet? Probably not?! They may still be there!

Vietnam is just a bunch of horns. When we leave this place and someone asks, “how was Vietnam?” We’ll answers “just a bunch of horns”. We heard that people pick their vehicle based on the sound the horn makes and they blow it constantly. Really, I don’t think that anyone can imagine what it sounds like around here. For our 5 hour private car ride, our driver used his horn the whole way. He passed cars on the right, on the left and most of the time just drove down the centre line. It was unnerving. I sat in the back and never really looked to the front of the vehicle. Our driver was great and stopped for us to get a SIM card. The English was limited, but we were able to get across certain things. We were so happy~~and we met up with Heinz and Virginia at a beautiful place on the beach for $35/night. More than we normally pay, but so awesome after such a terrible time travelling……………..



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0 responses to “Vietnam (jan 27 – Feb 26 2006)”

  1. Theresa says:

    “Cattle Class” Ha!

    Me thinks its only going to get worse. Sometimes bus drivers in some countries with over rated currency sell their spare tires for extra cash. Why don’t you pretend you are in a town or place on some kind of business? buyers of some sort, that way it is easier to hire a private driver on a daily rate. Anyway, have more fun (eat in Indian restaurants, boring, but the food is always cooked to death and it usually won’t make you sick.) Stay in the good edge of the run down part of town then go eat brunch at the expensive resort hotel, that’s my plan.

    Watching the Egyptian Ferry news, very smart of you guys to stay off that overloaded ferry in favour of a safer one. Good gooing.
    Be Safe

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