Lessons Learned on the Road
One of our favourite series in our travel blog (The BREL Chronicles) is Lessons Learned on the Road. In the spirit of the Ultimate Job, we thought we’d recycle some of our favourite critical travel skills – even though the Runaway Bride and Groom will be travelling in much greater style.
1. When travelling with limited underpants, the following manoeuvres are permitted:
• Continuation – the continued wearing of a pair of semi-clean undies, after for example, a shower or swim, if the undies have been worn for less than 16 continuous hours
• Double-dipping – a last ditch option, whereby you select the least soiled pair of underwear from the laundry bag and re-wear. Cannot be combined with Continuation.
• Inside-out – much controversy surrounds this dangerous manoeuvre, whereby a worn pair of skivvies are turned inside-out and re-worn. Generally, this manoeuvre is considered covert and not publicly disclosed.
• Commando –can either be a desperation move, or one justified by chosen attire (surf shorts, bathing suits, man-pris, etc.). When skilfully applied, this manoeuvre can significantly extend the length between visits to the laundromat.
2. The size of the stuff you’re carrying expands to 120% of the space you have in your pack, requiring that you strap objects (e.g. pineapples – true story) to the outside of your bag. And no matter how much you think your partner loves you, he will not, under any circumstances, carry your pack for you, nor will he put any of your shoes or makeup in his bag. No matter how much you whine.
3. You can never see too many monkeys or have too many photos of monkeys.
4. The best time to spot wildlife is when you are without your camera. The harder you look, the less chance you have of finding it. Best strategy: beer in one hand, standing alone in a parking lot, without your glasses.
5. Budgets are easy to meet when they are moving targets that contract or expand depending on how badly you need that massage or $4 diet coke from the mini bar.
6. The resident gecko issued with every hotel room in the tropics is highly preferable to the giant, resident cockroach. It is best to shield Mel from said giant, resident cockroach.
7. Even Brel can start to annoy each other three months in to a year-long trip. Take a deep breath and repeat the following: “Compromise will NOT kill me. Surely he (she) isn’t this annoying in real life – I’ve spent x years with him (her) and surely would have noticed this (fill in the blanks: hygiene/morning cheeriness/ pickiness/ stubborness/pig-headedness) issue before?”
8. It’s always Happy Hour somewhere.
9. If you have to ask “Is that smell us?” it likely is.
10.Two dollars US can actually buy an entire half-pound of bacon for breakfast in a restaurant in Belize. Bacon lovers unite!
Tags: Travel
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