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Who Says You Can’t Go Home?

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007

At 11pm on Feb. 5th, Pato (short for Patricio) took me to the bus station so I could catch the 11:30pm bus to Guayaquil. I expected it to be a 24 hour journey – it’s prob. a good thing that I didn’t know at that moment that it would be a 38 hour trip. Before I could reach my parents’ house, I would have to sit in Guayaquil airport for 6 hours bec. of a flight delay, which would cause me to sprint through customs in New Jersey to catch my flight to Atlanta, only to learn that I would have to spend the night in Atlanta because of a mistake the airline made. But in the end, I and my luggage, showed up safe and sound at last, in Iowa, the land of my family and childhood.

The first week and a half I was back home, it was unbelievably and bitterly cold. Everyone was talking about the weather, but it was even more shocking for me, whose senses had become somewhat delicate from living in the land of eternal spring for the last 10 months. And, despite the fact that I’ve survived 16 winters in Iowa, I always forget how the winter winds can whip wildly around on the plains, with nothing to contest or to challenge them. So I hunkered down with my parents and the cats, and while the temps dropped perilously low outside, I treated my parents to several free piano concerts (small repayment for years and years of lessons).

I also enjoyed reaquainting myself with several things that either do not exist in Ecuador, or exist in Ecuador but are not at my immediate disposal. Anderson Erickson cottage cheese and reliably hot showers that consist of more than a dribble probably topped that list. I also became reaquainted with some aspects of US culture that are not so convenient, like waiting an hour and a half when going out to dinner on a Saturday night and gas prices.

The 2nd wknd I was home was my grandpa’s 90th birthday celebration, which was the principal reason that I came home in Feb. It was a wonderful day for Grandpa – over 100 people came, including all of his children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and other surviving relatives. It was such a special day for him, and I was thankful to be there to share it with him.

The day after his party, I left my parents for a week to see good friends in Madison and Chicago, and a few stops in between. It was good to catch up with old friends and colleagues, and hear about the changes in their lives, and see how their kids were growing up. A special shoutout to Mary Beth! šŸ™‚

When I left Chicago, I was quite stressed out about the weather, and praying I wouldn’t fall victim to the blizzard storm that was raging across the midwest. Illinois was relatively clear, but literally as soon as I crossed the Mississippi into Iowa, I could see what the storm had left in its wake. A semi truck was jackknifed in the median, and that was just the beginning of the vehicular carnage that I would see strewn about in the ditches and medians of Iowa.

I got home to find my family without power. They, and the rest of our neighbors, had lost power at 1:30pm on Saturday, and I arrived home at 7pm on Sunday. My grandparents, parents, and I all went over to my uncle’s house as he has a generator. We didn’t gain power back until around 8:30pm on Tuesday night, and we were lucky. Some people were not projected to have power again for 2 wks, despite the fact that electric companies from all over the midwest were sending crews to help with the repair efforts. 250,000 Iowan homes lost their power due to over 1000 miles of damaged transmission lines. We were just recovering from that first storm, when the 2nd one hit, and hard. The snow blustered madly and the wind howled wickedly about our little house, while we thanked God that we didn’t have to be on the interstate, and prayed that we didn’t lose our power again. The news was morbidly fascinating – stories of 20 car pile ups, the interstates closed from central Iowa to both the Minnesota and Nebraska borders, etc. Yes, it had been awhile since I’d experienced winter in all its dangerous glory.

Both of my parents were worried that they hadn’t entertained me enough when I was home, but I had been perfectly content just hanging out with them, helping them babysit my brother’s kids, putting jigsaw puzzles together with them, etc. And all winter blizzards aside, it was inexplicably wonderful to be in Iowa, and around the people of Iowa, if even for just a few weeks. USians outside of Iowa love to make fun of Iowa, but we Iowans have great pride in our state, and being home for a few weeks reminded me of that.
But soon, it was time for me to leave Iowa and venture to a part of the states I’d never been to before: Arizona. I was off to visit my dad’s parents, who live with my dadĀ“s sister and her husband.Ā  My grandpa isnĀ“t doing so well, and weĀ“d all be surprised if he were still with us at the end of this year.Ā  When he passes, I canĀ“t imagine my grandma will stick around much longer.Ā  She told me several times while I was in Arizona:Ā  “I pray to God that He take Herman first (because I donĀ“t want Herman to suffer without me), but then I pray that he take me 5 minutes later, because I donĀ“t want to suffer without him.”Ā  They have been married for over 65 years, and I imagine life would be inconceivable for one without the other.Ā  Very difficult for me to imagine, as my longest relationship, short of 3 years, ended over 10 years ago.Ā  It was of course very good to see them, my friends Phil and Dora, and my aunt and uncle, but soon enough, I was on an overnight plane heading back to Cuenca.

So now IĀ“m back in Cuenca, which is kindĀ“ve tough for me, as IĀ“m still fighting off a cold IĀ“d picked up in the midwest.Ā  IĀ“d almost beaten it, but the overnight flight took me down again.Ā  But, IĀ“m feeling much better today, and looking forward to catching up with everyone here.

ok, signing off – much carino from ecuador!

Culture – “the way things are done around here” (definition borrowed from a friend of a friend)

Thursday, February 8th, 2007

I was sitting in the computer lab on another day, when I met a new teacher named Lissie. Lissie is engaged to an Ecuadorian, and is not having an easy time getting used to the culture here. We talked at length about the various aspects of Ecuadorian culture and relationships, and then cross-cultural relationships, that can be amusing, confounding, infuriating, etc. Then, Lissie made a comment that took me aback. She said, “I just donĀ“t things are this hard back in the US. I mean, I just donĀ“t think we have all the strict social rules that they have down here.” I did my best to gently remind her that we do in fact have strict social rules in the US, but bec. we’ve had a lifetime to learn and live them, we don’t even know they are rules, bec. they’re “normal” to us. We don’t have to think about them anymore than we must think about the grammatical structure of the English language in order to speak it. But someone who is learning English is very cognizant of English grammar, even if they don’t always use it correctly. And someone who enters the US for the first time is very conscious that there are new social rules that that must be learned and followed.

For example, here in the US, generally speaking, if you were to throw a water balloon at a total stranger, there would be hell to pay. But in Cuenca, during the month of Feb., it’s what people do. February in latinamerica means Carnaval, and in Cuenca, Carnaval means water.

Quick history/religious/etymology lesson:

In the US, the word “carnival” generally is associated with roller coasters, cotton candy, games, and giant stuffed animals, etc. But in LatinAmerica and in many other parts of the world, itĀ“s an actual holiday.Ā  Many historians believe the word comes from the latin words, Carne and Vale, which put together, mean “Goodbye to meat.” Originally, it was a Roman festival that took place directly before Lent to help prepare Christians for the period in which they were not allowed to eat meat.Ā  As the Roman empire spread, so did this festival.Ā  When colonists came to the Americas, Carnaval came with them.Ā  Today, like so many holidays with religious roots, Carnaval is known less for its religious ties and more for its fun and festive nature.Ā  In many countries, people are doused with flour, sugar, or just about anything white.Ā  But in Cuenca, Carnaval means water, and lots of it.
It means that you might be walking down the street quite innocently, and will get soaked, quite uninnocently, by a water gun, a water balloon, or any other form of liquid being projected at you. Attackers can come from anywhere, but they generally come from kids driving around in cars, or from balconies. Considering CuencaĀ“s colonial style architecture, there are a lot of balconies here. ItĀ“s all taken in good fun, and one really shouldnĀ“t get too upset, bec. if you donĀ“t want to get wet, well, you shouldnĀ“t be walking down the street without a raincoat.

One day, after having been soaked just a few too many times, Rachel and I decided we needed to buy arms. Water arms. It didnĀ“t take us long to find what we needed – right now all the little (and big) stores are selling water guns. Not just piddly water pistols, mind you – oh no – weĀ“re talking 1500 model super soakers!!!!! We considered getting one of those, but decided instead to go w. these hose things that are attached to a water pack you wear on your back. Wearing my pack, I feel a bit like a ghostbuster.

When our good friend Tito called us and invited us to BaƱos (thermal swimming pool), we seized our opportunity to do drive-by watering. There was much squealing, giggling, and uproarious laughter. The best was when we soaked this group of young guys walking down the street, only to realize that they themselves were armed with small water balloons! The next thing we knew, they were charging TitoĀ“s car, and since we couldnĀ“t get the windows rolled up fast enough, they got us back and good! oh, good times. Tito was absolutely shocked to learn that neither in Australia nor the US is there an official holiday season in which it is completely legit, acceptable, and really even expected, to soak total strangers without any fear.
The actual Carnaval wknd is not until Feb 18th, but I got my share of water fun before I left.

Another look at Poverty

I was sitting in the computer lab when I overheard a couple of study abroad kids talking. Apparently they each have to choose a site to do a volunteer project, and I overheard one girl talking about an all-girls orphanage in town. I was pretty sure she was talking about Hogar Miguel Leon, the place that I go to, but I listened for a bit before saying anything. She was telling the other guy about how impoverished the orphanage is, how saggy the beds look, how the kids prob. never get fed because they only get $.50 a day in government aid, how the kidsĀ“ parents are all druggies, losers,etc., how dirty the place is, etc. As you can, the picture she painted was rather pathetic. She admitted that she didnĀ“t get to actually meet the girls, as they were all in school, but she said that based on what sheĀ“d seen, it prob. wouldĀ“ve broken her heart to have seen them, imagining that they were dressed in rags and had dirt-smeared faces.

It was such a moment for me, and finally, I had to say something. I had to tell her that that is one of the best communities that IĀ“ve ever been a part of, and that those little girls are some of the most joyful beings IĀ“ve ever been around. No, they donĀ“t have all the material luxuries that we in middle class USA have come to expect, but they have some luxuries that weĀ“ll never know, too. And while the little girls experience all the playground and sibling drama that we all must content with, IĀ“ve never seen them lacking for food, company, entertainment, or affection. And yes, maybe their beds wouldnĀ“t be good enough for us, or maybe the place is a bit messier than our apts. But 1) show me a house where children live, and I doubt that it is neat and tidy on a daily basis, and 2) those little girls are lucky to have warm beds in a country where 70% of the population lives in poverty. And, IĀ“ve met some of their parents, and they are not all druggies or losers. Some are just poor and are doing the damned best that they can. I give them credit for making the best decisions they can for their children, in spite of, and IĀ“ve watched, how heartbreaking it is for both parent and child to say goodbye after a parental visit.
I love that community so much, and it really pained me to hear this total stranger taking pity on the girls, bec. the girls donĀ“t need or want her pity. They donĀ“t see themselves as poor. They only suspect that something might be “wrong” with them when people like her, and IĀ“ve seen it happen, come in and treat them like poor beings who are in desperate need of outside help.

Well, on that weird note, I’m going to sign off. I’m back in the states, so by next blog shall be all about the joy I experienced during the 38 hour journey back to the states, and how it warmed my heart to be with family and friends in the wintry cold midwestern plains.

con mucho carino de Iowa!!!!!

Jugo Malo!

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
When I woke up on December 6th, it felt like Christmas day. It was a day that IĀ“d been waiting for for a VERY long time: final exam day. Dec. 7th was even better - I got to see ... [Continue reading this entry]

“Noviembre sin ti…” (November without you – )

Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
Yet again, this will be a random and unconnected blog entry. For one thing, IĀ“m typing from an internet caf{e which is blaring Indian music.Ā  Not loving it.Ā  Speaking of music,Ā salsa is of course an integral part of latin american culture, ... [Continue reading this entry]

Life as I know it…

Saturday, November 4th, 2006
WARNING: This monthĀ“s entry is quite disconnected andĀ random.Ā Ā  The main reason for the disconnected writing style of this entry is that I have virtually no free time, of course, mostly due to my own doing.Ā  I have returned once again to ... [Continue reading this entry]

Tito and media naranjas

Friday, October 13th, 2006
PLEASE NOTE THATĀ THIS ISSUE WAS ACTUALLY PUBLISHED INĀ AUGUST, BUT DUE TO A TECHNICAL ERROR WITH MY BLOGSITE, IT WAS ERASED.Ā  IT IS BEING REPUBLISHED, BUT IS CHRONOLOGICALLY OUT OF ORDER, AS IT WAS WRITTENĀ BEFORE MY COLOMBIA TRIP IN SEPTEMBER... MontaƱitas Verdes ... [Continue reading this entry]

Colombia

Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
I loveĀ Cuenca, butĀ every now and then, a person just has toĀ see new sights.Ā  With my one month unpaid vacation, I decided it was time to know Colombia.Ā When I was 5 or so, my family went to Colombia to adopt my ... [Continue reading this entry]

Discoveries

Tuesday, July 25th, 2006
I had told my owners that I was moving out, had packed up all of the CEDEI owned things in my apt, had found and paid rent on another place, and even moved most of my things over.Ā  2 days ... [Continue reading this entry]

Changes

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006
When I was in high school, I had a sizableĀ crush on BJ Armstrong, who, at the time, played for the University of Iowa.Ā  While BJ was on the team, I knew the name of every player, their hometowns, important stats, ... [Continue reading this entry]

Is this the same Cuenca?!?!?!

Monday, June 12th, 2006
Discoveries Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  ItĀ“s been over 2 months since IĀ“ve returned to Cuenca, and in some ways, I feel very settled in here. Ā After a month and a half, I ... [Continue reading this entry]