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On Prejudice and Danger

Friday, July 8th, 2005

It is my family and several friends’ general concern that I will not be safe when abroad because of my citizenship and physical attributes. The former is of absolutely no consequence, except in rare situations I am most certain I will never encounter. The latter is more feasible, but this does not qualify it anymore than becoming endangered for my propensity for singing in the shower. Everyone is hated by someone whom they have never met. Everyone has some physical expression which inherently makes them another’s enemy. There has not been a single race or solitary face in the history of humankind which has been accepted unconditionally—each person defies someone’s notion of perfection. But the disparity is more serious than this. It’s as if people would deny others right to exist as the same “level” of human being, some denying the right to exist at all. There are none who do not judge, and hate is everywhere.
Therefore, I submit that while I many not be “safe” I am no less safe than any other person, because for every group that would advocate or accept my physical appearance, there is a counter-view which rejects it. And what gives my life precedence over another? Why should I be protected when others are left to suffer? I am selfish in many ways, but this is not one of them. I am selfish in that I will use the time that I am alive to work for what I want and I will put this above personal relationships. But what I want is bigger than personal relationships, and for this, I would give my life. It is difficult in this world where people put such emphasis on their own lives and those of the individuals around them, but the world does not mourn us when we are gone. For this reason, I am sorry to those who love me who may see my actions as foolish or selfish, but for the betterment of a world that will never know me, I cannot be deterred, and I hope one day they will understand why. There is no reason for mourning a life of no consequence, and for that reason, I hope in the event of my death, especially if it is brought about by another person, people would not take it as cause for hatred or retaliation. Hate breeds hate. Love can breed hate too, but at least then, love exists as a 50% counter balance, instead of 100% of despair. It is always better to love, and where love is not possible, to accept. Were I not me, were my skin a different color, there are still areas of the world where I would be alienated for my height, tall or short, or the shape of my nose. It goes both ways.
Some would argue that we should then seek out our own, stay amongst those who will not question, judge, and possibly hate us. I say there is no life there. I want to be questioned by others. I do not want to be hated, but I recognize that if we isolate ourselves, we will continue to hate and misunderstand. I think if we go into the world open to others in the spirit of good will, for every person that will hate us, we will touch one who will draw on our light and forever be changed, they will be provided with sight. If this endeavor should cost me my life, my only hope is that there will be at least one will understand. Not that I did what I did, putting myself in “danger”, but rather why it happened, what it means. To see that the hate was not directed at me, but those who came before me. The only way to change this is to continue to try. I would hope that there is one who would follow where I left, without fear.