BootsnAll Travel Network

An Interview with the Man of da House

A few housekeeping bits to start out:

* Boneprone: Darius and Theo for Penny?  How bout trading Ha Seung-Jin for an orange construction cone instead?  At least the cone won’t hurt anybody.  But I do like the idea of trading Darius.


* Jonas, Adam and Amy:  Thanks for the contraband, I hope it finds its way to me somehow in the next year or two.  Just hope that ice cream doesn’t melt before it reaches me.

* Aliscia:  I promise to visit your friends soon!  I just want to be able to get my Spanish down so that when I meet and have dinner with them, I won’t be a mute like I am in my current living situation.  Oh, and Fuentes Georginas is definitely THE place to relax in Xela (you just have to go on a nauseating 20 minute ride around those windy paths and hope that you feel just good enough to get into the water).  I promise to write to you more this week!

* Oftentimes I write things in my blog that I don’t recall if I’ve written before, I usually don’t have time to re-read or edit my posts as I’m usually just typing on the fly and seat of my pants (that is an expression, right?).  So apologies if you happen to read things I’ve already said or you find many typing errors!  Also, I’ll try to repost some of my previous entries with the pictures that should have been there in the first place.  Looks like the Superbowl Sunday post finally shows the pics.

Now, on to today…


Below is a condensed version of an interview that lasted 32 hours with the man of my house, Tonito.  For the simple pleasure of reading it in Spanish, I have decided to give you the short version in English.  Any questions or comments can be forwarded to his fan club in Orlando, FL.  Tonito is currently starring in the movie drama “Brokehouse Fountain,” playing the voice of Sammy, a confused catapiller who thinks that he is actually a butterfly.  Set to open in limited release on the Sundance and Cannes Film circuit, the role is generating great buzz amongst Hollywood insiders and think that Tonito can be the breakout star that Kevin Federline wishes that he could be.  Alas, the Interview.

Edwin:  Tonito, you are just 5 years old and already you command such a great presence on screen and off.  Tell me about your upbringing.

Tonito:  I was born in Xela and I learned how to act at a very early age, around 2 I think.  I am able to manipulate and get my mom to be my cook, waitress, cleaning lady, mom and slave all at once.  It’s a great life and the best part is that it is all free!

Edwin:  One day while I was trying to watch a movie on the only TV in the public areas, you came in and took the remote and changed the channel to your Cartoon Network.  Why did you feel the need to do that instead of watching it on your own TV in your room?

Tonito:  I just figured that it would be a great way to annoy you and I was right!  I figured that you would be a little perturbed that dinner was already 45 minutes late and that you didn’t have a good day at school.  I just wanted to show you that just because you are 27 years older than me, you gotta show the respect or else!

Edwin:  Ah, I see.  I also recall one evening I was watching TV and you decided to take a flashlight and shine it in my eyes the whole time I was trying to watch.  Were you trying to do the same thing? 

Tonito:  No shit Sherlock!  Yeah, but you had fun didn’t you?  It’s not like I took the flashlight and put it right in front of your head!  Okay, maybe for a little bit, but I was bored and you are fair game.

Edwin:  You are an up and coming movie star, tell me about school and how that factors into your plans.

Tonito:  Eh, school…I go for about 3 hours a day, but I like having mama there by my side in the classroom because I don’t like the other kids.  They are jealous of me anyways and wish that they could have the success that has eluded their miniscule lives of 5 years.  I already know how to count up to 10 and that’s all I really need to know.

Edwin:  Your mom frequently leaves you alone in the house.  How do you pass the time when she’s away.

Tonito:  Watch TV, sleep, make myself dinner.  My favorite is a tostado with queso and ranchero sauce.  And I like playing with my action figure toys.

Edwin:  You sure do.  I hear you at all hours of the day making loud explosion noises and going “POW!” and “BOAH” right outside my bedroom door. 

Tonito:  That’s called rehearsing and getting into my role.  I want to be in action pics and be the next Jean Claude Van Dammit or Arnold I can’t spell his last name. 

Edwin:  Who are the major influences in your life?

Tonito:  Me.  And Barney.  And my Batman action figure that is missing 2 limbs but I still make him win and beat up all the other action figures.

Edwin:  If for some reason your movie career fizzles out like other childhood stars like Ron Howard, Jody Foster and Bob Saget, what other line of work would you consider?

Tonito:  Gourmet chef.  You’ve seen me make my tostadas, my hamburger sandwiches and how I can get people to make me what I want. 

Edwin:  Well, this conversation has definitely been enlightening, I have run out of internet time so before I go is there anything you’d like to say to your millions and kajillians of fans out there?

Tonito:  POW!  BOAH!  HAIYA!  I’m really not as loud and obnoxious as he’s making me out to be, he is a biased journalist and he’ll say anything about me and twist my words to sell more copies!  I mean come on, I’m just 5 years old so give me a freaking break already!  All kids are like me, I’m actually a very sweet and adorable and lovable little kid.  So don’t get the wrong impression of me, Edwin has only skewed this interview to generate pity for HIM and not for ME.  I’m the one that doesn’t currently earn any money or even know what the word “Inconceiveable” means!  So take what he says with a grain of salt, maybe some of the events that happened really did occur, but AGAIN, I’m just a little kid for Pete’s sake!  That’s all I have to say.


One response to “An Interview with the Man of da House”

  1. Mike says:

    Absolutely. Friggin. Hilarious. Genuis

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