BootsnAll Travel Network

A Special Post Just for Monica

Okay WAZU Cougar loser, here is your special request travel post just for Monica, Apparently my posts lack certain pizaaz and sizzle, as she wanted to know more history about the locations that I am visiting and how past events have shaped the political, cultural and economic landscape of the local region. Coupled with special emphasis of demographic statistics, she guaranteed that readers will be more drawn to my updates and really stir within them a deep sense of osmosis. So, without further ado, thank Monica for this entry:

Houston, TX. Founded in 1823 by Jeremiah “Gene” Hackman, it was once the site of a meteor crash site that could have, may have, perhaps so, wiped out the dinosaurs and ancient cavemen. Authorities are unable to substantiate this claim because they weren’t around then, but if they were, then surely the local Houston Chronicle would have their front page devoted to this catastrophic event (continuted on page C9). Leftover bones and tattered clothing were discovereed at Hermann Park (named after John “Gene” Park), and thus Houston was born out of the rubble and exploded to become the 4th largest city in the U.S. With no urban planning and being named America’s Most Unfit City, it is a city on the up and up and has a lightrail system to rival any transportation system consisting of wheels and donuts.

The biggest draw to Houston, however, is not the Eiffel Tower or Disneyland, it is the local Houston Zoo. Whales were the first animals to be featured at the zoo, and then in 1801 dolphins made their debut to a delightful appreciative crowd of school children, dignitarians from Africa and the local militia. These reptiles performed wonderous feats of magic, such as tightrope walking, somersaults and painting with acrylic oils that were later sold to art galleries near and afar (go to any Thomas Kincade Gallery and give the code name “The Animal” to see these rare and priceless pieces of art). Later the curator added lobsters, pigs, bats, elephants and chimpanzees. It was the chimpanzee program that became the pride and joy of the organization, churning out performers for “BJ and the Bear,” “Cannonball Run,” and “The Wonder Years.” In 1765 an earthquake shattered the cages which held the wild mammals captive, and they integrated into society under the radar of the public. However, by using special sunglasses, townfolk were able to differentiate those who were human and those who were not. Finally, in 1799, Commissioner Gordon and multi multi multi billionaire Bruce Wayne formed a new branch of government “The People’s Coalition.” A year long curfew was imposed on all citizens, and before long, these ruthless zoo animals were rounded up and bequethed to the Queen of England on the famous Titanic oceanliner.

Things returned back to normal, but the volcano’s damage had inflicted permanent damage to the Atzec ceramic plate collection and the aquaduct infrastructure. Taxes were increased and that’s how Houston was named “Space City USA.” Other famous Houstonians include Mr. Bean, Mr. Rogers, Mr. Clean, Mr. Ed and Mrs. Butterworth. Today, we had lots of rain, thunder, lightning, strong winds and a dose of “The Birdcage.” And there folks, is your short history lesson on the shaman tribe “Houston” and how the city became to be the number one exporter for pineapple and Enron stock.

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-18 responses to “A Special Post Just for Monica”

  1. Monica says:

    Umm Edwin it’s WAZZU not WAZU, thanks for the special dedication. I feel so enlightened about Houston…zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. (did you copy and paste that info?) Oh and Katie and I think you are smoking something cuz your posts are getting crazier and crazier! Be safe and remember hugs not drugs!

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