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One last fling on the beach
Laos, home of Beer Lao and so much more Feelin' Clean City of Ghosts Ankor-Hard Core Holiday in Cambodia Party Island Rainy Days Righteous Babes The meaning of Christmas Busy 2 weeks Gastronomical Delights! Kate-International Business Woman (how does that sound?) First few days in Chiang Mai 3 countries, 2 days (part 2) 3 countries, 2 days (part 1) Kita Pethia! (Look Peeps!) Snail Hunting Things and things Coming Back
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August 24, 2003Last Night in My Own Bed
Hi there, well it's the night before I leave and I've been a huge emotion ball all day. One minute I'm giddy, the next I'm feeling anxiety cramps in my stomach, or I want to cry thinking about how much I'm going to miss my life here. It's been really hard for me these last days to think about not seeing my family or friends for 6+ months. Especially since I've been feted 3 times in the last week. I guess I hadn't anticipated the guilt that I feel now, leaving everyone. But I also feel scared. I'm a pretty brave person generally but spraining my ankle last night scared me s----less, you know, what if I get hurt, or robbed, or raped, or, I don't even want to say this, but dead. I've always thought, 'hey I'll go when it's my time, no use worrying about it' but contemplating the notion that I may be saying goodbye to all this for good is something I've never experienced before. And then I swing back to being hopeful and excited. I've wanted to do this for so long and this is my big chance. I'm daydreaming about all of the interesting, wonderful, quirky, people I'll meet, and all the cool places I'll finally see in person. I can't wait to enlarge my arsonal of stories and look forward to sharing them in this blog (There will be some I'll have to keep to myself, I'm sure you understand ;) Comments
Don't feel guilty - most of us think that you are insane, but would trade places if we could. Posted by: Rob on August 26, 2003 07:50 AMI have felt the same way but you have come this far and now its time to straighten your shoulders, keep a stiff upper lip, and take the jump we are all wishing we could be doing right now. Have a safe trip! We are all looking forward to hearing about your adventures :) Posted by: Russ on August 26, 2003 09:23 AMme too! in eight days time, i'm embarking on an 18 month trip to india & s.e. asia. first time i'll have ever done any full on travelling, and i'm also feeling excited and petrified all at the same time :-/ '....still counting the money we loose...' We are both working, have a house to pay,and loose a lot if we're quitting our job for 3 month Anyway wishing you all the best! And yes ,if I may say it I'm a little jealous but most of all ,I'm proud of the people like you! Have save travels, Petruch Posted by: Petruch on August 28, 2003 07:28 AMThanks for all your words of encouragement guys, but I was just going through some lat-minute jitters. As I was telling someone earlier today, the emotional challenge involved for an adventure such as this is not mostly during the trip, but actually starting. It's easier once you're out there. (knock on wood!)-love Posted by: Kate Merrill (me) on August 29, 2003 12:06 PM |
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