As at 14 March 2005

Countries visted: 13 - Malaysia, South Africa, Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, Ethiopia, Sudan, Egypt, Netherlands, Belgium, France, Luxembourg, USA.

Times across the Equator: 9

Methods Travelled: 15 - Plane, ferry, dhow, car, London Taxi, bongo van, raft, boda boda, river boat, punt, Russian taxi, bicycle, Ethiopian share taxi, camel, New York cab.

Airlines (and score): 6 - Malaysia (6/10), South African (8/10), Precision Air Services (2/10)*, Kenya Airways (8/10), Ethiopian Airways (3/10)*, KLM (9/10)

Aircraft Types Flown: 5 - 777(x2), 747, A319, 737(x5), Fokker 50(x5)

Times Tyson or Louise has had to vomit and have diahorrea at the same time in a bumpy and cramped aircraft toilet: 1.5 (* see Precision Air Services and Ethiopian Airways)

Number of times Tyson has convinced locals his name is Barry/ Lord Walsingham: 7

Number of times Tyson has convinced locals that Peterborough and Booleroo Centre are major Australian cities: 1

Types of beer drunk: 33 - Anchor, Tiger, Heineken, Windhoek, Castle, Amstel, Tusker, Safari, Serengeti Premium, Kilimanjaro, Nile Special (puts Sally on her ass after 2), Club, Bell, Senator, St. George, Meta, Dashen, Castel, Bati, Sakkara, Stella Lager, Meister, Meister Max (aka Headsmasher), Hoegarden, Maes, Hertog Jan Pilsner, Kronnenbourg, Palm, Jupiler, Guinness, Miller, Samuel Adams, St. Pauli Girl.

Most paid for a beer: A$10.00 - Hoegarden, O'Neals bar W64th Street, NYC.

Least paid for a beer: A$0.15 - St.George Draught, Bahar Dar, Ethiopia

Most paid for a meal: A$160.00 - Lobster Ultimate Feast, Red Lobster, Times Square, NYC.

Least Paid for a meal: A$1.50 - Breakfast of 2 Omelette Rolls and 6 coffees, Cafe Vanilla, Axum, Ethiopia.

New animals eaten*: 3 - Ox, Kudu and Ostrich

Longest Time Without Seeing McDonalds: 5 weeks

Thefts: 0 from 2 attempts

Times Louise or her father has thrown a wobbly and made the hotel give us stuff: 3

Current Pooh State:
Tyson - Medium Sized First World Logs. Smell Factor: 5/10
Louise - Whatever it is it's big. Smell Factor: 6/10

Leprosy Status:
Tyson - Negative but exposed
Louise - Negative but exposed

Tyson's Biggest Gross Out Moment: Leper in Addis Ababa with swollen fly infested leper leg (old lady pissing in the street in front of me in Gonder gets a dishonourable mention)

Louise's Biggest Gross Out Moment: (aside from the Leper in Addis Ababa with swollen fly infested leper leg). Waitress in Gonder standing in front of me picking her nose in place of a "hi, what can I get you?".

Current Level of Police Interest: Medium (now related to Tyson's constant bad impressions of Lt. Cicirello of the NYPD)

Photo Opportunities with Armed Goons: 3 from 4 attempts

Swankiest Hotel: Ten Bompas - Johannesburg (free "mini" bar, steam bath in room, dead animals on the wall)

Crappiest Hotel: Papyrus Hotel - Bahar Dar, Ethiopia (pool full of green sludge, no water, furniture fell apart, Louise gave the porter the finger on the way out)

Most Basic Lodgings: Red Chilli Rest Camp - Murchison Falls, Uganda (mud hut with warthogs grunting outside)

Best Overall Performing Budget to Mid Range Hotel: Nungwi Village Beach Resort - Zanzibar, Tanzania (great staff, great location, nothing was too much trouble)

Celebrity Sightings: Denzel Washington, the guy who played the grim reaper in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey and Dennis Farina (he was on the street)