After a couple of glorious days of chilling by the pool and zipping around Koh Lanta on a motorbike, we decided to take a guided tour of Ko Rok. This wondeful little island chain consists of two islands connected by a deep sand bar and gorgeous coral patches. We saw alot of pictures in brochures and recieved a glowing recommendation from an American couple (who were actually from Germany and Thailand). After doing some preparations, we made our reservation and headed out early to meet our driver at the gate of the resort.

We were picked up by truck and driven to the Miami Beach Bungalows just south of our resort. We hopped into a speed boat that was packed with tourists... some Americans, some Swedes, some French, and some Thai. After a few minutes of preparations, we headed south of Koh Lanta out into the ocean.

After 20 minutes of travelling, one of the engines quit working. The boat slowed down while the crew inspected the engine. A few minutes later, the other engine quit working. We were dead in the water halfway between Ko Rok and Koh Lanta.

The staff popped the cases off the engines and started performing a variety of trouble-shooting techniques that didn't seem to work. In the process, though, they filled the cabin with fumes and smoke, which sent everyone gasping for air from the windows of the cabin and on the front of the boat. I hopped up and climbed around the side of the boat. I noticed a particularly young member of the staff sitting on top of the cabin on a little area that was protected by runners. I climbed up to join him, and Shaunna joined me a few minutes later.

After drifting (and riding in circles) for about 30 minutes, the staff managed to get one engine working. The other came and went long enough for us to drive out to our first snorkelling spot. The guides dropped anchor and motioned for us to go swimming.

Everyone was slow to get their snorkels and fins, but within a minute Shaunna was hopping into the water. I strapped on a pair of flippers and waddled my way to the back of the boat. The steps leading into the water were particularly slick.

This is where my vacation took an aweful turn.

I felt my feet begin to slip out from under me. I had two ways to go: either backwards where I would hit my head, or forwards into the water. I decided to dive into the water.

As soon I hit the water I felt pain shooting up the back of my right leg. My calf felt like it was on fire, and I knew immediately that I had done something wrong. It was pulsing and thumping from the pain, but I still had full motion in the water, so I decided to do some snorkelling.

The corral reef and water at Ko Rok was amazing. It was the best snorkelling we've done so far on this trip, and it was comparable to some of the areas we've seen in Mexico and Jamaica. Unlike the rest of the Andaman Coast, the water at Ko Rok was a crystal blue color that provided perfect visibility. The reef was dense with fish, coral, anenomes, sea urchins, clams, clown fish and a wide variety of creatures that were completely new to me.

After 40 minutes of swimming around, I was starting to feel the pain creep up my calf. I swam back to the boat and tried to climb the ladder. As soon as I put pressure on my right foot, I felt the muscle tighten and flames of pain gripped my leg. After climbing on board, I was wincing and moaning in pain. I couldn't tell if I had pulled the muscle or torn some tissue, but I was miserable.

Once everyone was aboard, we headed to a lovely stretch of beach next to the Ko Rok National Park grounds where we took a lunch break. I hobbled to a bamboo platform with tears welling up in my eyes. Shaunna was particularly worried, and rightfully so. I tried to stretch the muscle, but it was pointless. I was wounded.

She picked up our food (which was pretty good) and brought it over to me. I wolfed it down and immediately laid back to rest my leg. A sweet Muslim lady came over and assisted Shaunna in massaging my calf and feet, but it wasn't helping much. I eventually waved them away and hopped over under a tree to relax.

Sitting in the shade, I sat back and cursed myself. I kept thinking how this was retribution for some childhood pranks I played on old people. Or maybe it was for slagging the Euros and their skimpy swimsuits? Or maybe it was for all the sick daydreams of Dick Cheney and the members of the Carlysle Group being publicly flogged for crimes against humanity? Actually, it was probably none of that - but I was feeling pretty ashamed and lame.

The views on the beach were amazing, and I urged Shaunna to go off and enjoy it without me. As in Chiang Mai when she was sick in bed (and I explored the streets alone), I told her to enjoy it while she could. She walked around and snapped pictures of the beach...

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After an hour of resting, the guides called us back to the boat for another snorkelling adventure - but once again, the engines would not work. We sat in the surf and rocked a bit until they got one engine working. They cruised a few hundred meters away and told us to jump in. We were all in disbelief until we saw the water. Crystal clear with tons of reef to explore.

I sat around wondering if maybe I should take it easy, but being weightless felt much better than sitting in the boat. I grabbed my mask and snorkel (no fins this time), and I hastily hobbled to the back of the boat. The cool water washed over my leg, and it felt so good.

The second snorkelling spot was even better than the first. I swam about and explored a bit. My leg was feeling good, and I was stunned by what I was witnessing under the waves. I saw blue coral and massive structures that looked like orange cauliflower. Anenomes were everywhere, and their little clown fish buddies darted in and out on their white and yellow fingers. I was in awe.

After thirty minutes, I swam back to the boat and put my leg up. I could feel it swelling up and getting worse. Our guides took us to another spot and told us to snorkel once again. As we swam through the water, they took turns working on the engine... but nothing seemed to make the situation better. After we were all back in the boat, they drove back to the beach and told us to get out.

We were all a little confused. The guides were supposed to have us back to our hotels by 5pm, and it was already heading up on 3:30pm. They were discussing some things in Thai, and they wandered inland with cell phones in hand. I found another spot under a tree and tried to stretch my calf. Each time I could feel the pain shooting up my leg, and it was all I could do to hold back tears. I was fucked.

Our guides finally rushed over to the boat and started to work on the engines. After twenty minutes they told us that another boat was on the way to pick us up and take us home. This was around 4:30pm.

I was miserable the entire time that we waited. I needed ice for my leg to reduce the swelling. I needed medications. I probably needed a doctor to look at my leg. But we were stranded on an island.

After an hour of sitting around, I decided I should get up and try to stretch my legs some more. This was a futile effort. As I was hobbling around, a cute Portuguese girl asked if I was hurt. I told her what happened, and she said that she would find some ice. She and her boyfriend, Bruno, had spent the last two nights camping on the island. She knew where there was store in the park. I called for Shaunna, and the two of them hurried off.

They arrived with ice and a few muscle relaxers from Bruno's backpack. I took two. We saw people walking around with canned beer, and Shaunna took off to explore where we could get a drink. She rushed back with beers and took off again with the camera. She was hyped about some monitor lizards that she saw behind the store. They were huge! The largest was close to five feet long, and it was neither shy nor scared of humans...

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While she was taking pictures, I slugged down a beer and prayed that the muscle relaxers would kick in. After thirty minutes I started to feel a bit better.

Around 6:30pm a large speed boat from Phuket appeared to pick us up. They brought a mechanic with them who immediately walked over to the other boat. Within ten minutes, he had the engines working fine. We sped off in an attempt to make it back to our resorts. The muscle relaxers and beer finally set in and I was flat stoned. I had enough energy to capture the sunset between the islands of Ko Rok....

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Once we were back on Koh Lanta, I tried to hobble to a truck that was waiting to take us back to the resort. The pain was so bad, and the sand was so hard to walk on, that I needed two men to carry me up the beach. I felt aweful, and I was seriously worried how the rest of our trip would unfold.

The rest of the night I kept my leg on ice. I took ibuprofen, swallowed a vicodin and drank another beer. I drifted to sleep in a pleasant haze and awoke to the pain. Shaunna and I had originally intended to spend our last day on Koh Lanta speeding around on the motorbikes and finding cool places to relax. Instead, we kicked on our patio, drank beer, and relaxed.

After 24 hours of ice treatment, the swelling was starting to subside, and I could put a little more weight on my leg. I was getting anxious from sitting around all afternoon, so I got up to cut my hair in the shower.

I have used my beard trimmer to cut my hair for the last few months, so put the guard on and started going to work. When my work was nearly complete, I decided to take one last final swipe at the back. I heard a loud "bzzzzt!" and I saw the guard hit the shower floor. A large clump of hair followed close behind. I stood up and looked into the mirror to see this wonderful new hairstyle...

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Here's another angle...

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Now I felt like a complete jackass. I was practically crippled and in pain, and I had a goofy haircut to suit... all just in time for our flight to Bangkok the next morning.