I'll try not to go into too many insignificant details about our shopping excursions in Bangkok. We've spent days going from stall to stall and market to market searching for gifts, home decorations, t-shirts and countless other goodies. Each day starts and ends the same: wake up, eat breakfast, take the skytrain (the best way to travel), shop, come back, eat dinner and fall asleep in an exhausted state.

Perhaps the most remarkable details are the markets themselves. There are the more famous tourist markets in Bangkok that rightfully deserve attention: Patpong, Banglamphu, and the Chattuchak Weekend market. Then there are the out of the way vendor stalls that seem to be set up in high traffic walkways, piers, or down dirty alleys that provide a shortcut between major roads.

Close to our hotel is the Patpong Night Market and Silom street markets. We've ventured over to this area mutliple times during our stay whenever we're bored, want to find more t-shirts, or need to relocate a desirable item that we've priced in other markets (but found the Patpong price to be cheaper).

The Patpong market (like Banglamphu or Sukhumvit) is one of the only markets where "Western sizes" are available. That is to say, a Large is really a Large, and not a miniature. An XL fits my broadshoulders well-enough, unless it's an Asian XL, in which case it is a body stocking that makes my belly look retarded. I'm losing my belly, by the way. All the walking and rice and constant activity is giving me a headstart for the healthy lifestyle I hope (and pray) I'll continue when I return to the states.

The Patpong market consists of various streets filled with vendor stalls. All around are the dingy bars and sleazy cabaret joints for which the area is well-known. While you're looking at fake Levi's or trying on shoes, you will be accosted by men with laminated cards listing the various sex shows you can see. The "Ping Pong Show" seems to be the most popular one of the moment, and men yelled at Shaunna and I trying to get us in the door to see one. The fact that they approach my wife only proves that both sexes are fair game for their proposals. Western couples are reputably their biggest customers, so it's no suprise.

The Patpong Market is a good choice for t-shirts, fake Rolexes, carvings, and various other touristy items. If you want real value and a good selection, save your shopping energy (and money) for the Chattuchak Weekend market (aka: JJ Market). It's a long skytrain ride away from our hotel, but it's a massive market that is filled with everything under the sun. There is a saying, "If it's not at the JJ Market, you can't get it in Bangkok." Indeed. You can get clothes, home decor, used jeans, handicrafts, smuggled Australian parrots, pet squirrels, wall-hangings, and a wide variety of other crazy goods. Haggling is a definite must, and the prices are way better than what you will experience in most other markets.

Shaunna and I devoted two full days to the JJ Market. We went one day, got beat down to a pulp and decided to go back on Sunday in order to stock up on more goodies. The walking and sun and stifling heat and cramped walkways and shouting and smells and sights are completly overwhelming. A couple hours of walking in the market is (I believe) the equivelent of hiking all day. We were overcome with weakness many times, which sent us frantically searching for water, a beer, and anything edible we could put in our mouths. Try the phad thai at the street vendors if you need cheap food.

Some good highlights of the JJ Market are the high-class home decor and furniture vendors. It is very obvious that many importers go here to get the goods they sell at a 300% markup back in the US. We saw lawn furniture and tables that were gorgeous for prices that made us groan. We haven't bought a house yet, so why buy furniture? We don't know what to expect or what to shop for... and that was soooo frustrating. It's like letting a great opportunity slide by... or maybe it's just an excuse to come back to Bangkok?

The Banglamphu market is very touristy and caters to the younger indie/hippie crowd. You can definitely find good clothes for your weekends in the park or grubbing around playing sports. There are some "club quality" items there - if drinking Guiness and standing around in a sweaty pub is your idea of clubbing. I was drawn to alot of the t-shirts and baggy farmer pants, but I decided against buying any of it. I love keeping a super casual look about me...maybe a little too much. Maybe it's time to grow up and quit looking like a teenager? Or maybe not. I just opted out this time.

Go to Banglamphu if you want silver, funky jewelry. Shaunna is regretting her decision not to buy while we there. We went to another area that is well-known for gems and silver (in the Silom area), and we all found were high-class jewelry (for Grandma) and silverware sets. Indeed, if you want cool designs and affordable prices, Banglamphu is worth the trip. You can also find hair-dyes, rock shirts, silly shirts with rude logos, and a variety of other "young market" items.

Go to Chinatown and Little India for the culture alone. Read my entry if you want more details. It's not a tourist market. It's for locals, expats, and wholesalers that need massive quantities of fabric, buttons, and accessories. You can also find good ethnic food there... but that's another story.

We have yet to tackle the Sukhumvit area or Siam Square, but I hear that both are high-end department stores and ultra-chic designer stores whose roots are street-level but cater to the high-rise fashionistas. I don't like to shop as much as it may seem, so these places sounded pretty off-limits... and besides, I'm completely shopped out. We still have a few special things we're getting tonite, and I don't want to shoot my load in Sukhumvit and become too pooped to do the business tonite. If we had another weekend, we would surely head there and brave the crowds of rich young things. And I would most likely dive head over heels into the hip designs.

In my last post about shopping I mentioned a few tips to help the new tourist haggle like a pro... or semi-pro. Here's a couple of other tips to help you save your sanity...

1) stay hydrated: the pollution, heat and manic activity of the markets will leave you gasping on the side of the road.

2) if you see something you really love, don't hesitate to buy it right away.... we have seen things that we really loved, decided to shop around, and then came back only to find it either gone or the vendor relocated. Even worse, we sometimes couldn't find the original vendor, which resulted in us wandering aimlessly through the market. After awhile it all starts to look the same... "Weren't we just here?"

3) Don't get pissed if you see a better price on an item you just bought somewhere else for a higher price. It's your fault you didn't haggle enough to get a good price... or you looked like a fool and the vendor raised the price accordingly. I marvel at how appearances and manners make a huge difference with prices.

4) seek food from the street vendors - don't get suckered into paying high prices at some of the restaurants in the area. Just because they look nice doesn't mean they have good food. I've had some great food served to me in a styrofoam box... and I sat on the stairs of a building on the side of the road and ate it with flimsy chopsticks. The experience was terrific.

5) If you really think you're gonna shop, devote as much time to it as possible... and don't plan on doing much later that night.