After waiting 5 days for the 30 knot winds and equally big swells to calm down around the Great Barrier Reef, I said screw it and went South. Just means I'll have to come back down under again... dang it! I made my way South from Townsville to Airlie Beach, then drove through hours of sugar cane, mango trees and banana trees to Harvey Bay for a Fraser Island adventure....

Fraser Island is a sand island that is over 100 Kilometers long and full of off-road tracks and open beaches you can drive on. The gig is you sign-up with one of the Harvey Bay hostels that all have their own fleet of hard core Toyota Landcruiser 4X4's to head out to the island with 40 of your best friends packed into 4 vehicles to bump around the island on your own for 3 days. You load-up on beer and food and drive the vehicle to a barge that takes you over to the island. They send you on your way after giving a quick lesson on shifting, four-wheel drive, etc.

I had brought my iPod and tape adapter from my car that worked perfectly in the Landcruiser. None of the other trucks had music for the 3 days, but we were legends- not the bluegrass that I cranked at full volume, but we as a truck load were legends. It was our job to park in the middle of whatever party we'd set-up along the way to keep the tunes pumpin'. We drove along miles of beaches and deep sand tracks on the interior. It quickly became a frequent thing to have to help someone out of deep sand with one hand, while keeping your beer steady in the other.

We camped out both nights cooking up BBQ's on the standard issue propane stoves they give you. The 4 vehicles would gather around with big drinking games going on in the center and wild dingo's pacing around the exterior hoping for an unfortunate sole pisser heading out to the woods. One of the vehicles consisted of a group of 10 Irish guys. They like their drinking and entertained the entire group with different ways to make drinking on the beach fun and entertaining.

I met up with the Irish guys at Lake Waby which is a lake in the middle of huge sand dunes. Somebody brought a boogie board and we quickly began flying down the dune into the lake in style. I got the idea to make a big pile of sand at the bottom to launch off of into the water. All I needed was some brave people to be the first off the ramp.... the drunk Irish guys stepped-up to the offer. WIth running starts and sand all in the eyes, we launched off the ramp for about an hour before we couldn't walk up the dune any longer.

Through a few sand storms and pissing down rain, we managed to make it back to the barge in time to head back to the mainland. With sand in every crevace and tired as dogs, a crew of 8 of us managed to make it to the All-You-Can-Eat Chinese Restaurant and put away several plates of little fried things and rice. AAAahhhhhh.

I met an English girl on the adventure that drove with me down to Noosa Heads, our staging area for the decent on Steve Irwin's Australia Zoo the following day. A group of 5 of us went out to the little backpackers bar in Noosa for "just a couple of beers." Next thing we know we'd been roped into playing a game where your team stands on one side of the bar and using only the clothes you have on have to make a line to the other side of the bar with the discarded clothing items. Everything was going well, we thought we were going to win the $40 bar tabs until the girls in the group decided they would not lose anymore clothing. The other guy and myself looked like Ben Stiller in Meet the Parents when he comes out sporting his banana hammock while everybody else is fully clothed. All in the name of good fun.

Steve's zoo was INCREDIBLE! It has the feel of a family zoo with pictures of he and his family posted all over the place. ANimal Planet has dumped loads of money into the place making an entire arena for the Croc shows. Steve was, unfortunately, not in attendance but there was a rumor that he had been sighted. My favorite expo was Roo Heaven. You walk into some gates into a big open area with a bunch of kangaroos hanging out ready for some attention. You can walk up to any of them and feed 'em ROO pellets and pet them. A lot of the roos are just like dogs and as soon as you start scratching their back they roll over for a belly rub. After seeing hundreds of dead roos in the outback it was nice to see what their like ALIVE.

The croc show was amazing- we also saw Bengal Tigers play with trainers and boat bumpers like they were nothing. Hung out with a fuzzy Wombat named Chisel while he ate a sweet potato. Pet a few koalas, fed an elephant, saw otters, dingo's, emu's, venemous snakes... the whole lot. CRIKEY!

I think this is an appropriate time for my elephant trunk joke. A husband and wife that have been married for a few years realize that their sex life just isn't what it needs to be. The guy is working with a little nub that's just not getting the job done. They decide to look into an experimental procedure where an elephants trunk is surgically put in the place of the little member. After a consultation with a surgeon and a few lengthy discussions, the couple decides to go for it. After 6 weeks of being bandaged up, the trunk is finally ready to be put to use. They decide to have a celebration dinner at a fancy restaurant before trying it out. Sitting at the table enjoying a wonderful dinner, the man begins to feel a little tingle down below when out of nowhere the elephant trunk comes from below the table and grabs an orange out of the fruit bowl on the table then goes back below. The wife starts laughing out loud and tells her husband she'll pay him $100 if he can do it again. He looks at her and explains he'd love to give it another go but doesn't think he can fit another orange in his ass.

I met up with one the guys I had met in Europe on the Gold Coast and have stayed with him for the past few days. Went to his parents house on the beach about an hour South of where he lives. His parents fired-up a BBQ and we played some darts and drank beer to warm-up the evening. The guy I came to stay with (Andy) has a Dad they call CHICKENBONE. All he wears are Hawaiin shirts with only the bottom 3 buttons buttoned. 50 years of beer drinking is on display above those 3 buttons. We went to the Return Servicemens Club in their small town of Evans Head to play pool with the locals. Chickenbone was on a role buying new bottles of beer every 15 minutes sliding them into the kuzee (stubby holder) he had brought from home. Close to midnight Andy and I were ready to go back to their house for some sleep, but Chickenbone wanted to go to the only other pub they have in town for a few more bevvies.

We fished and snorkeled for a few hours the next day in Chickenbone's 10 foot aluminum boat. We caught a little flounder, but nothing worth keeping... my usual. Had a big lunch of fresh shrimp we bought while down at the docks. I love those sleepy little fishing towns.

I'm heading back to Sydney to sell the car... she'll have a name by the time she's sold. We're (me and the car) going to screetch, squeel, thump, shake, jiggle and squeek our way along the final 727 kilometers from Byron Bay to Sydney.

Then it is off to Thailand to meet Hobbs in Bangkok to take the 17 hour train up to Chaing Mai and hop on the slow boat that takes two days floating down the Mekong River to get into Laos. Rough Life.