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March 21, 2005

Here she is...

mycar.jpg
Look at 'er gleamin' in the sunlight

I have found the love of my life here in Australia... she's been around the country a few dozen times, but

look at her. I went and hung-out at the King's Cross Backpackers Car Market down in Sydney for about 3 days learning the approach to buying one of these beauties while Down Under. The old parking garage was filled with about 50 genuine, true blue backpackers vehicles of all shapes and sizes, each puffing out a dose of its original "rode hard" eau de exhaust. The goal is to get the least shitty car possible. One that stands a chance of getting you around Aussie. I don't know if this piece will get the job done, but boy is she fun to look at and she handles like a Big Wheel.

Here are the facts... 1986 (somewhere about the time Thriller came out?) Ford Falcon GL Station Wagon. These puppies apparently run forever and are scrapped all around the country for easy parts. What really sold me was the set of Bull Bars on the front of this baby. When you drive at night out in the Outback, there are supposedly some issues with kangaroos jumping out into your path... and it takes this car so long to get up to speed, that once she's rollin'... she's rollin'... kangaroo or not. She's got a big picture of Taz markered on the hood by a previous owner.

Here's the kicker... all these backpackers cars come with all the essential camping equipment to survive anywhere. You open up the back of my car and out falls mattresses, tents, sleeping bags, camp chairs, portable TV, camp table, stove, soccer ball, pots, pans, plates, cutlery, coolers, maps, one of those things you put on the steering wheel to deter thieves (shitty old Ford Falcons must bring top value in the black market), and a french fry covered copy of George Michaels "Faith" cassette. What else do you need?

The only problem is that she needs a name. I need some consultation, some feedback on what the perfect title would be. Take a good look at her and throw some names out. Notice the curves in her body... the little dents and scrapes... the virtual high performance machine. I'm going to pick a winner in a few days time and that person will get a didgeredoo or a boomerang or maybe your very own wombat. Post them names.

While backpacking Europe a year and a half ago I was in a bus station in Seville, Spain buying a ticket to the coastal town of Cadiz when an Australian guy asked me where I was heading. I told him, he pondered for a moment and then asked me if I wanted to go meet up with some of his friends for a few weeks in Morrocco. I said, "Why not?" and off I went. One of the coolest experiences of my life.

We get back to Spain and met up with the rest of his Australian buddies who had converted a big van into a quazi RV for the backpacker type- complete with bunks, stove, and that's about it. I ended-up touring up the East Coast of Spain, into France and Italy with this crew and had the time of my life. I told them I would come visit them in Australia in a year or two... they laughed it off and thought they would never have to see the American again... muhhaaahhhaaaa.

I landed in Sydney, called 'em up and ended up back at their place 2 blocks from Manly Beach... and that's where I've been for the past 2 weeks. Every morning is started off with a surf, or more rather the other guys go surfing while I get beat up by the waves and get Man-O-Wars wrapped around me- then talk about how good the surf was.

We've had barbeques out on the beach the majority of the nights I've been here. This past Friday night I went and saw Jack Johnson in Centennial Park in downtown Sydney. The most amazing show I have ever seen in my life. Accompanied by one of his buddies tickling the ivory he somehow made you feel like it was just a couple of you jamming on the back porch in Hawaii rather than stuffed next to 20,000 of your closest pals, one of them being the fat girl that has had too much to drink and insists on doing her "Jack Johnson Dance," falling down, getting up and doing it all over again while belting out the wrong lyrics at the wrong time. A little sweetheart she was.

I flew solo to the concert, apparently attracting and promoting the old drunk bitches to dance and tell me how much they love or hate America. The line-up was amazing... G-Love & Special Sauce, Donovan Frankenreitter, Xavier Rud (a white Australian dude that plays his version of aboriginal acoustic music- one man band playing guitars, percussion, didgeredoos, harmonica and singing... awesome), then Jack. Seem him if you get the chance.

The next day I got christened into my first Super 12 Rugby match. The Waratahs vs. the Stormers from South Africa. I din't know what the hell was going on, and they don't have TV timeouts for explanation. The game was over before I knew it, but it had to be done. I also had to field the usual questions in my small version of a press conference regarding the fact that we are pansies in America because we wear pads.

I am heading South today towards Canberra to find some guys that go boar hunting as described by the photographer I worked with in San Francisco. I smell bacon. Then it's through Melbourne en route to Bell's Beach for the Rip Curl Pro Surf Competition... the largest in Australia. I'll go tell heroing stories of the time (every morning) I was at Manly beach and I almost drowned while 6 Man-O-Wars had wrapped themselves around my neck stinging the Be-Jesus out of me. They'll ask, "So how's that left break up there?" My reply... "Strong to very Strong"

Let's get this car named

Posted by Brad on March 21, 2005 06:12 PM
Category: Australia
Comments

Diggs,
Boy she's a beaut. I haven't seen anything so beautiful in my life, except a nice tall Biggie coke the morning after a rough night out. I'll brainstorm on a name.

Posted by: Dow on March 21, 2005 07:23 PM

1st do you have a handicap sticker? You need one if you're going to park there.
2Nd glad you are having such a great time. Be safe. {sound like a mom}
3rd "Daisy" daisies always make me smile.
When you coming home? Have fun, sandy sigourney

Posted by: sandy sigourney {friend of mom} on March 21, 2005 08:32 PM

Funny, Sandy...when I saw the pic that was the first thing I saw also...we spent too much time hunting a hc spot some days, and down here most don't really need them...I am sort of the hc police:)

Posted by: lpd on March 22, 2005 08:36 AM

What a fine-looking ride. Great color. Love that chrome roof rack. Name suggestions:

- Big Blue
- Bluesetta
- Blulu

Keep on truckin', truckin' your blues away...

Posted by: Allen in Massachusetts on March 22, 2005 09:36 AM

WHAT!!! You don't have a handicap sticker and you're taking up, not one but two handicap spots. That's a hefty fine here in America. Those Aussie's sure must have taken a liken' to you.

After pondering for hours upon hours about what name to submit for your car, it suddenly hit me (not your car, the name idea). Everything I know about Australia, I learned from a certain special place here in the USA called The Outback Steakhouse. A common ground adored by both Australians and Americans that brings two cultures together around a single juicy sirloin. I mean there's no rules, just right. What's not to love.

The name I am submitting for your vehicle is also know as a 12-ounce center cut sirloin seasoned and seared to perfection with your choice of side and salad. Yes that's right, it's "The Outback Special".

Enjoy!

Posted by: Danny Wardeh on March 22, 2005 09:49 AM

Sweet ride, couple name ideas:
HAMMERHEAD
BLUEPRINT
MINNOW
DELTA 1
MOISTURE MISSILE
LADY KARMA
GUPPY
REGINA QUEEN
SEAHORSE
POPA SMURF
MICO JONES (spanish: mi cojones)

Yes, it's been a slow day at work.

Posted by: Brownie on March 22, 2005 12:03 PM

I've got the perfect name for the "Powerwheel".... Remember the girl who licked Weirdass's butthole?.... Emily.

Posted by: murray on March 22, 2005 12:59 PM

I have a few more:

blue tornado
xavier
snoop
Herb Jones
sweetness
bo bo the blue duck with wheels
free willie
chad

Posted by: Danny Wardeh on March 22, 2005 01:00 PM

Her name is Emily? All this time I really thought her name was just "the bum licker".

Posted by: Brownie on March 22, 2005 02:31 PM

Some tasteless ideas:

Kangaroo Slayer
Kangarazor
Kangaradicater
Kangarobliterater

And possibly my favorite...
Kangannihilater

Posted by: Brett Hobbs on March 22, 2005 03:15 PM

Brad,
You mean you don't remember anything about rugby during your 12 beer hour and a half binge every Saturday evening along with the rest of the hooligans ridiculing the referee and fat guys on the other team?

Posted by: Gordo on March 22, 2005 03:43 PM

Name ideas:

-Mad Max (the mental image of that car barreling across the desert stirs up images of Mel Gibson that make me feel funny, you know, down there)

-The Ragin' Cajun

-The Blue Monster

-Blue Rocket

-The Drano Turd

-The Flying Wedge

-M1 Abrams

-The SS Pickle

-The Big Hurting


Posted by: Dow on March 22, 2005 07:55 PM

BLUE BALLS

Posted by: Weirdass on March 24, 2005 02:11 AM

my name pics:

1) JACKAROO (for the most famous, free spirited road tripper of all time, jack kerouac. and "roo" for geographic consideration.

2) EMERSON (as in ralph waldo, who said " do not go where the path may lead. go instead where there is no path and leave a trail...")

aunt winnie

ps - buddy, amos lee played on jay leno last night!

Posted by: A.W. on March 24, 2005 09:11 AM

i've got one more submission and this is my winner.

3) STELLA (for one of the most beautiful songs that jerry ever sang "stella blue."

lyrics:

All the years combine
They melt into a dream
A broken angel sings
From a guitar

In the end there's just a song
Comes crying up the night
Through all the broken dreams
And vanished years

Stella Blue
Stella Blue

When all the cards are down
There's nothing left to see
There's just the pavement left
And broken dreams

In the end there's still that song
Comes crying like the wind
Down every lonely street
That's ever been

Stella Blue
Stella Blue

I've stayed in every blue light cheap hotel
Can't win for trying
Dust off those rusty strings just one more time
Gonna make them shine

It all rolls into one
And nothing comes for free
There's nothing you can hold
For very long

And when you hear that song
Come crying like the wind
It seems like all this life
Was just a dream

Stella Blue
Stella Blue

aunt winnie

Posted by: A.W. on March 24, 2005 01:16 PM

What the hell Winnie, your finger stutter or something...just playin, hope Florida is treating you well.

~Nick

Posted by: brownie on March 24, 2005 06:08 PM

How about:

Turd Sandwich

Turd de azul

Coche de la Caca

WTF mait

The wanker mobile

The gay mobile

El station wagon de la gay

The blue poo

The shitville stainer

The family truckster

Afternoon Delight

The shaggin Wagon

The rim job

Stormin Normin

I'll come back with more.

-Monroe

Posted by: HOG on March 25, 2005 08:36 AM

B-Rad,
Make sure you hit the 12 Apostles on the Great Ocean Road.... one of the prettiest spots in Oz... Safe Travels, Z

Names for the Sledgehammer (gotta go with a feminine name... tradition mate... AND she'll make you feel all warm and fuzzy when you're cruisin' down the road singing at the top of your lungs... just the two of you, bonding... gotta hit the old school names as well): Gladys, Beatrice, Dorothy... you get the idea!

Posted by: Zane on March 25, 2005 11:24 AM

possible names:
boomshica (because she's ghetto in a good way)

or

Talula

Posted by: Vanessa on March 27, 2005 11:48 PM

Felicia the Falcon. Aussie sister to....Cecelia the Celica.

KP

Posted by: Ken Petersen on March 29, 2005 02:18 PM

I thought of a better one.

Since she seems like she may have some ebony in her...LaFawnduh the Falcon.

Because. "you've got a soulmate, and her name is LaFawnduh." 0r "LaFawnduh is THE best thing to ever happen to me."

(Daddy needs a new didgeredoo)

Posted by: Ken Petersen on March 29, 2005 03:27 PM

I think you should name it after that big flying piece of shit in The Never Ending Story: Falcor

Posted by: Captain Jolly Roger on March 31, 2005 06:56 PM
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