Troy Archie – Everybody Knows This is Nowhere

Laos, what can I say…You have images of this communist regime and thrid world country coming over the border and have no idea what to expect after coming from the adults playground which is Thailand. It’s only across a river but once you cross it you know you’re not in Thailand anymore and anlready see that things are quite different, the further you go into the country the more you see that. My Thai visa ran out so in order to get an extension I had to go to the border and get it extended but I figured if I was going to go to the border I might as well go into Laos and travel there. I took a little shuttle bus with Galen, the guy from Vancouver I’ve teamed up with and a whole bunch of other foreigners. We were herded like cattle, as is the usual Thai way of treating tourists, into a little van and taken on a 6 hour ride to the border. Along the way we stopped at the usual “eatery” places for our breaks, which involed some middle of nowhere bus stop that served food and in this case, a cashew nut stand. The guy that ran the cashew stand was very Thai; if a Thai’s got something to sell you, you know it and would rather sit down to a meal with Satan himself than to spent a mear 2 with them. Pretty much all of the regular everyday Thai’s are great people but once money is involed and they’re in the tourist buisness, they are ruthless and pushy to no end, misinforming, lying and doing their best to get your baht, most of them anyways, there have been a couple that I’ve run into that are good people. The last night in Thailand the from the guesthouse lady would not leave Galen and I alone. We decided that we would make our own way across the border and figure out where to go from there getting our own bus tickets, visas and such. The lady went on and on telling us how it was impossible to do it on your own, how we’d never make the bus and how you had to go through her to get a visa. We went out for dinner and while at this eatery she happened to drive by on her motorbike. When she saw us she jumped off and again proceedded to pester us about buying the package she had. Again we declined. The next day we woke up early and walked down to the boat dock where we crossed into Laos, which was suppose to be 4km away but was more like 400m, got onto a boat, went across got our visas and went to the bus station. Along the way we met a couple about my parents age from Nelson BC, Greg and Marlynn. This was their first big trip, were interested in doing things for themselves without travel agents and were headed to Luang Namth, which is where Galen and I were headed. We had heard there was a boat that could go there and had talked to an English couple in the shuttle van about hiring one to go to Luang Namth. Greg and Marlynn had talked to them also but once we got across the border we couldn’t find them so we made our way to the bus station just to check it out. Once we got there we just decided to get bus tickets completely forgetting about the boat for the time being. We later met up with the couple from England and they had some great stories about their boat trip and how they spent the night in a village with the locals. At first we were all dissapointed that we didn’t take the boat also and had that cool experience but then I reminded everyone about our bus ride.

Highway of Hell
So we got onto the bus at the Laos/Thai border for Nam Tha knowing little what we were about to get ourselves into. We were joined by a Belgium couple, Jiran and Debbie along with a couple other foriegners and a bus load of Laotians. The guide book warned us that travel in Laos is a lot slower than in Thailand and that this road we were about to go on was under construction and should at best be avoided at all costs but got on the bus anyways. 140km in 7 hours was the eta. I wish I could describe in better words of the events of that bus trip but I’m at a loss. It was 140km of construction straight out. They didn’t do things like back home working on small sections at a time but dug up the entire road all at once and procedded to do bits and peices here and there. There was one or two sections that were paved but the rest was all pot holes. bumps and gravel. We went up mountians after mountian, endlessly climbing and jutting up and down switchbacks. The sign said it was 140km but with all the switchbacks it was probably more like 200km. We went along steep canyon cliffs where you’d look down the side of the bus and see about 6″ from the side of the bus was straight down 100-200m. We came along areas where avalanches occurred and some of the guys got out to clear trees and rocks. There was one spot where they were working and huge area of the road had collapsed and they had to clear it all out from dirt and rubble with diggers. All along the way there was horrible dust and when we got out we were all red from it. The houses, plants and trees along the way were also covered in the dust. The villages were all small little farming villages with homes made of thatch wood and bamboo where people meek out a living as best they can. Can’t imagine the health problems they’ll have later on in life because of all the dust. We would drive with all the windows open until we passed another vehicle or one passed us and from there everyone would quickly close all the windows to try and keep out as much dust as possible. The whole journy was insane with so many weird stops, and encounters along the way; it was great. We stopped in this one town for a break and I was blown away at just how good of English the people could speak. We were pretty much in the middle of nowhere and yet this one girl there could speak better english than any Thai I had met in Thailand plus they were so friendly. Everyone here so far and along the way has been great. So after 7 hours we finally made it to Nam Tha, dusty, tired and hungry. The whole way I was thinking to myself that I don’t have much travel left in me, I’m done. A couple more months and then it’s back home. After the horrible trip though, which I’ve heard some seasoned travellers say it was the worse bus trip they’ve ever taken, I’m glad I took it as it was a hell of a ride. There’s no way in hell I’d ever take it again or go back that way over that road but I’m glad I got to experience it. All throughout the days here, conversation between Galen, Greg & Marlynn and Debbie & Jiran always seemed to go back to some strange moment or some funny part of the bus ride.  Pics of this bit fun can be seen here.

Nam Tha
We got in about 7pm and booked into a really nice guesthouse that was more like a hotel than guesthouse with nice white fluffy towels, the softest bed I’ve slept in in months with wonderful smelling clean white sheets and a TV with either Communist TV or religious channels. At first we thought it was expensive and wasn’t even quite to sure on the exchange rate but we checked in and afterwards found it that it was dirt cheap. A little pampering in a nice place can go a really long way as I felt rejuvinated the next morning and all for like $4US a night. This place was nicer than the hotels I was stayin in with my family in Sydney for like $250 a night.  We then got kicked out of the place a couple days later on the pretence that they had bookings but looking back at it now the place was a Chinesse owned guesthouse and often they only rent out to Chinesse so we went around the bend to thins place Ccalled Zuela’s GH that was one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen in a long time.  It was an amazing brand new teak wood guest house in a Laos style and was only like $3.5US a night.  The people there were amazing too, on the second night there they were opneing up their restaurant so they invited us for dinner with them.  I’m still at a loss of words at just how generous they were, the food was Laos and amazing.  It felt truely like a home cooked meal, something I’ve been yearning for for a while. 

Around Nam Tha there was a a number of little villages that we went exploring on bike.  We got quite the warm recpetion in a number of them with children yelling Sa Bi Dee (Hello) and a hell of a lot of smiles all around.  We pulled into this one families “shop” and noticed this one fellow with a machette chopping up and chewing on this wood.  We pointed at it wondering what it was and he got all excited, jumped up, ran off into the woods and came running back with a huge branch of it that he proceeded to chop up and pass around to us.  We figured out that it was sugar cane, with a little bit of translation it was a pretty good.  So many little moments like that throughout the time day.  Later that night we all got together and went for Mongolian BBQ.  It’s basically Korean BBQ but better.  You sit around a table with a hole cut in the middle of it and they put this little BBQ thing in the hole, cover it was a metal top and you cook your food on it.  How it differs from Koren BBQ is that there’s a little moat around the bottom of the pan that they fill full of water where all the juices from the cooking meat goes.  In there you put your veggies noodles and other goodies.  It is so good and blast at that when you’ve got 6 people on it.  Definately going to have to make one back home for the back yard.
Nam Tha pictures

Muang Sing
A little ways up the road, a much better paved road I’ll add is a little town called Muang Sing that’s host to a number of different ethnic tribes and some beautiful scenery.  Eco trecking has been really highlighted here with treks being run by the local peoples.  It’s a pretty small town well off the beaten track, with very few foreigners around.  The border to China was like 50km away so we were out in the wook works.  Galen and I went on the one day “difficult” trek up this mountain with an Isreali guy who was a bit of a character.  Our guide was a local farmer named Sihanjy, really nice guy.  Didn’t speak the best english but my Laos sucks so it’s all good.  It was a pretty good hike along some stunning scenery and interesting little villages.  What was really interesting about the villages is how the villagers pretty much paid little or no attention to us only giving us looks as to, who are you, what are you doing here and why have you come all this way to see this hole in the dirt?  Not even general curiosity was really shown.  These villages that were in the valley were moved there by the Laos government from higher an more isolated areas so they wouldn’t grow anymore poppy for the opium trade.  I don’t imagine they liked being moved so I can understand the hostility.  At the top of the mountian there was this little village that Sihanjy said was really old.  The villages in the valley had some power and a well but this place had no power and the only well was a rain water creek about 10 minutes walk away.  This place was full on with bamboo thatch huts and livestock in the streets.  I felt somewhat bad in the sence that here I was almost gawking at these people and felt like I was treating them and their village as a zoo but at the same time I couldn’t look away.  Them, their daily lives and everything about them was so far removed from myself that I just couldn’t help but stare with complete astonish.  The Isreali we were with was like, “I don’t get it, why don’t they make their houses out of brick instead of wood and straw?  What happens if there was a fire?”  What a guy, he was a little far removed.  We only spent a day in Muang Sing and headed back to Nam Tha for a night before making a rough day’s trip to Muang Ngoi.  The ride back to Nam Tha from Muang Sing was interesting.  There was about 32 of us packed (mostly all locals) into the back of a covered pick-up truck.  There were a couple people standing on the back bumper the whole way too, I wish I could have stood.  Muang Sing Pictures

Muang Ngoi
So Galen and I head out from Nam Tha heading to Muang Ngoi.  We have to get a bus to Odomxia and from there another bus or tuk tuk or pick-up or space shuttle to Muang Ngoi.  The first bus was good old fun with me and 34 of my closest Laos friends crammed onto a 17 seater bus.  There were little plastic chairs they put in the ailses for people to sit on and at the front there was a place where they had a big pillow for people to sit on with a couple people standing in the doorway to top it all off.  I started out on the pillow sitting back to back with another girl before that become too painful and I stood the rest of the way with the The Uncas playing on my Mp3 player the whole way.  Lesson learned: if you don’t get a real seat on the bus, stand.  From Udomxia we went in the back of a pick-up to some little town in the middle of nowhere and spent about 10 minutes trying to tell the guys where we wanted to go and bargain a price.  From there it was an other pick-up finally arriving at Muang Ngoi.  9 hours it took us to get there and god knows how many kilometers, probably like 50.

Galen and I spent just one day in Muang Ngoi, there wasn’t a lot to do there but it was a jump off point to be able to boat down the river to Luang Pabrang. There were some caves in the area so we went out walking to check them out. Along the way we ran into these little kids who, in broken english asked us where we were going and we said caves. From there they started to follow with what we guessed was the incillanation that they were going to be out tour guides. They started to try and take us down this one path and across this creek but there were no signs or anything so we turned back in hopes of leaving them behind but they kept right on us. The main cave in the area you really couldn’t miss and I was where the regional government hid out while the US was trying to bomb them into oblivion during their secret war they held against Laos. There were bomb craters pocketing the area and the kids showed us some machine gun bullet holes in the cave walls. After the main cave they started pointing down the field we were in saying “cave! cave!” so we figured there was another one down the way. They led the way and took us to another smaller cave that was across this rice paddy and up a little path. We thought it was a bit dodgy at first but when we got to the second cave there was a sign above it announcing that it had been the sight to the Luang Prabang bank during the late 60’s and into the 70’s which I though was a bit odd as Luang Prabang was like 100km away. We went into what looked to be a small cave but were shown by our tour guides that it went further down still. There’s no way I would have gone down deeper but they lead the way and Galen and I followed suit down this winding and twisting cave that went a fair ways down it was pretty cool and a bit freaky. At the bottom was a little ledge with an old sign that said “Staff Only” and another one declaring it was the bank manager’s office.  Then same the time for buisness.  As we were standing around I felt one of the kids poke at my wallet and after standing around for a bit they asked us for their “fee” pointing at their back pockets knowing that I had my wallet there.  Cheeky little monkeys.  I wouldn’t have given them much or anything at all if they only showed us the main cave, that we could have found ourselves but the second cave was super cool and wouldn’t have known about it without them or have ventured as far down as we had.  So we gave them, there were 4 of them, 10 000kip each which is about $1US.  They nearly shit themselves.  Their faces lit up like light bulbs and they darted off ahead of us showing off everyone who passed by their hard earned cash, kissing the notes along the way.  I really don’t think they were expecting that much but they deserved it.  I only hope they put it in the bank and saved it.  No I don’t, I hope they blew it on candy.
Our tour guides

From Muang Ngoi we pooled together a group of people and hired a boat to take us down the river to Luang Pabrang.  It was a really nice ride that took the good part of the day with a couple stops here and there for food and peeing.  Pictures of that trip can be found here.
Muang Ngoi Pictures

Off the beaten track
You think, I want to get off the tourist trail and hit the unbeaten track but when you get there you realize there’s only one place to stay which is rustic at best, only one restaurant that serves the same “Western” and “Asian” food as everywhere else, only 2 street stalls selling the wide variety of noodles with pork or noodles with chicken; I swear with the amount of noodles and meat these people eat I’d be surprised if they ever pooped.  To top it off there simply isn’t a lot to do in these little towns, it would be like vacationing in Elk Point or Tofiel, after a day or two you’re just a little bored and eager to hit the road knowing full well it’ll be 9 hours of hell in a bumpy bus.  I don’t know if it’s just travel in Laos or just the places we’ve been to, but it’s been some tough shit.  I’m far more inclined to splurge alittle on my accomidations and not be such a cheap bastard after many of the bus rides and routes I’ve had to take to get to places. 

Luang Prabang
So I’m in Luang Prabang right now.  It’s a dam nice city of about 25 000 and is designated a UNESCO World Heritage Sight becuase of it’s cool architecture due to the French influence during the years of colonialism.  The town definately has a French flair to it, with cool European style buildings and french bagets everywhere.  Bread is a bit of an oddity in Thailand and is only around to appease the tourists but from what I’m told because of the French, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam have bread as a staple.  Anyways, enough about bread; I’ve been here a couple days now and have been have a grand time.  After hoping and jumping from place to place the last week and a bit it’s nice to come to a city with some modern appliances and that’s not saying much here in Laos.  There’s no grocery stores here, only markets and street vendors and good luck finding and shopping mall, works good for me though.  This is one of those places that you plan to stay a couple days and then you realize it’s been a week and your still there.  There’s plenty of amazing cafe’s with great coffee, great street food and some of the bars and cafe’s have movies at night that you can go and watch.  It had been about a month since I had seen a glowing screen and I was surprised at how much I missed it’s dancing colors.  We watched “The Departed”, it was good. Ohh and clean clothes, that’s a plus too. Renting a bike and riding around town is good too. Today though I rented a mountain bike and rode it out of town to where there were some water falls. It was about 30km out of town, through these little Laos villages and rolling hills/mountains. Took me about an hour to get there and was a sweat mess when I finally arrived. The last leg up the hill took me 30 minutes to get to the top but only 5 to get down. The falls were beautiful and the water was an amazing blue and green in color plus it was nice and cold which was perfect on this hot day and after riding all morning.  I gave a bit of a yelp when I first pumped in but afterwards it was perfect. They also had this bear and tiger rescue place there with about 10 black asian bears and one asianic tiger. Bears I’ve seen before but were pretty cool none the less, the tiger on the other hand was rad. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen one in person before but I was in awe. It walked by me in it’s caged area and gave a bit of a growl/pure and my hair stood on end. I might have been so impressed by it because I just finished reading “Life of Pi“, which everyone should read, thank you again for pointing that one out to me Erin.  Now you should “Damage Done“.  Unfortunatly I took my memory card out of my camera the night before to upload pictures and forgot to put it back in so I don’t have any pics of there, which sucks because that tiger was dam cool.  On the plus side though I renting a bike again tomorrow and going out to a different set of falls.
Luang Prabang Pictures

I got lots more stuff to post and type about that have occurred but lots of it slips the mind and a bit too lazy to continue writing so I’ll make some things that stick in my mind quick.
Working out:  I do my best where and when I can but it always seems to be in odd places with little or no privacy.  I worked out in Nam Tha and looked up at one point to find myself surrounded by all these little kids watching me wondering what the hell I was doing.  They stuck around the whole time I was there too.  Another time I went to work out at this Wat (Buhdist Temple) because it was one of the few places I could find a bit of privacy (no parks in Asia it seems) but only to draw much attention from the young novice monks and quickly found about 12 of them standing around me. 
Monks:  I started to talk to a couple of the young monks before and after my workouts, they spoke pretty good english and are eager to learn. One asked me what a couple words in English were, and this one came out of left field. “What is the word for when a man dresses as a women.” I wrote down “cross dresser” in his little note book and then later told him that in Asia they were known as “Lady Boys”. He got me to write that one too.
Coffee:  Laos Coffee is dam good stuff.  It’s a fairly famous bean in the coffee nerd circles and I can now taste why.  It has a bit of a wheaty flavor to it, and medium body.  Kaa Feh Laos, Dam Bo Soy Nam Tan (Coffee Laos, black with no sugar) is pretty much the only Laos I know really well without having to dig for my cheat sheet.  Can’t wait to get to the south of the country where it’s grown.
Jesse: Thought I’d just a shout out congratulations to Jesse and Janelle and their engagement and eventual wedding which will be in August.  Cool shit.

There’s more I could type about but I’m hot, tired and lazy.  Oh yeah, here’s a bunch of maps of Laos.

Keep it real

Troy

Tags: Laos

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 12th, 2006 at 10:11 am and is filed under Laos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.