Papa Mike’s Palau Blog

Yes, I see that smirk on your face; you thought this was a racy story about pornography in Palau. Shows you the type of people that frequent this blog! So get your mind out of the gutter and I will take you on my quest to reinforce my three T-shirt wardrobe in a far off foreign land.

Many of you are laughing, imagining how a sophisticated author like myself could take off on a six-week trip with only three T-shirts. Well, I would like you to know that I originally started out with four, so there! I have previously told you the tale of the great time I had at North Beach Cottages, where they treated me like the royalty I so aptly deserve. Well, I must have left one of my T-shirts in upper Babeldaob, where the Filipino workers at the cottages are likely converting it to a tent.

Now, for most people acquiring a new T-shirt is a rather mundane matter, requiring a stop at any neighborhood men’s clothing store. Such is not the story for those of us who call the Big & Tall stores are home. I asked my faithful taxi driver Leo where should I go. The first stop was Ben Franklin, the store not the President you ninny! No luck. Across the main street to Surangel’s, where to my surprise there was a whole shelf of triple xxx shirts in a “wide range of designer colors.” Then I found out they were less than US$4.00! I became a local shark in a feeding frenzy and scooped up four. I would be stylin’ on my upcoming trip to Angaur and Peleliu, native women would bow in my presence. Then I tried the shirts on! It was apparent that what the Chinese considered to be xxx was slightly smaller that the American counterpart and I did not have the physique to support that tight shirt look.

So the next day it was back to Surangel’s, to exchange the shirts, but alas they had nothing larger and could not refund my money because of the credit card use. I asked if I could redeem the credit at the market downstairs and she said sure. I figured it was a simple task to exchange the shirts for a couple of six-packs of beer, maybe even pick up Bud Light in an attempt to someday fit into a smaller size. They didn’t have beer, so I had to settle for a variety of food for my refrigerator back at D.W. Motel and was remained shirtless in Koror. That’s when I got thinking, hell there are at least 8000 male Palauans here some of which make even Papa Mike look slender, I figured they had to be getting their shirts somewhere.

My conversation to every large male Palauan started like this,

“Alii my large friend, where do you get your shirts.”

I got many a strange look, but in the end it didn’t take me long to find out their secret. They simply ordered them from the Big & Tall shop catalog and had them sent from the States.

I had a wonderful trip to Angaur and Peleliu, but man was I glad to get my laundry done when I got back to Koror.

Papa Mike
April 2, 2005
Koror, Palau

Recently I have been receiving enquiries from my worldwide fan base and knowing I am here in Palau they ask,

“Papa Mike have you swam with the jellyfish like they did on Survivor Thursday night?”

Well dear readers the answer is yes. Papa Mike and a small group of westerners recently took the plunge along with 37 Taiwanese visitors; the Asian group sported bright orange life jackets, was attached to a rope and looked to be non-swimmers experiencing the magic of masks, fins and a snorkel for the first time. There was none of those svelte Survivor babes in the water like you saw. The serenity of Jellyfish Lake was somewhat disturbed by the frantic paddling, gesturing and shouts of foreign astonishment from the other group who seemed to be having the time of their life in the bathtub warm water of the lake. I am sorry to say we were not allowed to vote them off the island.

On a more serious note, the jellyfish, despite what they said on Survivor Thursday night, does indeed sting. It is just that after years in their microclimate of the lake the power of their sting has diminished. You can be assured that if the jellyfish brush up against your underarm or other sensitive areas you will receive a sting. That is why Papa Mike is issuing this important health alert, do not and we repeat under no circumstance should you kiss the jellyfish at Jellyfish Lake. As an additional caution, you may also want to avoid the Karaoke Bar at Sarah’s Yum Yum, where I believe the Taiwanese snorkelers were heading in their bus.

Papa Mike
April 3, 2005
Rock Islands, Palau