BootsnAll Travel Network



apathy at bay

after two very lengthy distinct and interesting conversations with two very different young women today i have resolved my temporary apathy to the street vendors and well everyone else who wants to sell me something. Through talking with Bee, a jewelry vendor at the beach, and Tui at one of the dress shops, i have reafirmed my understanding of how hard life is here, for most people. Tui, Jess and i were sitting around on the floor of this dress shop talking for a long time about all sorts of things ranging from the mundane to love to economy, politics, etc. Many things impacted me about Twee’s story. her parents were extremely poor from a small village. they could not afford to educate her past age 10. (On a side note, i think education might be free up to age 10 but then it costs dong after that). She had to start working to feed herself at age 10 and never finished school. you would never know this from the way she speaks english, and presents herself. She has an extreme curiosity and is very eloquent but she never really had a childhood. additionally she was talking about her boyfriend of 4 years who she wants to marry. she desperately wants to have children but says she will not unless she knows she will be able to feed them and clothe them well, and send them to school up through university as she says she often feels very ashamed that she never went to school and would not want to subject another person to the amount of shame she feels. Lastly we were talking about old age and jess and i were joking about something- Tui said she hopes vietnam will change in the next 50 years, and we were just laughing about being in our 70’s/80’s+ then, when Tui said that she hopes she will not live that long as her life is too hard . it was really striking hearing her say this juxtaposed with her just talking about how in love she is- it was so eerily sad and practical. she didn’t say it dramatically as the reader might be tempted to read it and she wasn’t expressing sadness about her current conditions, in fact she highlighted that although difficult (14 hour days, manual labor) she liked her job (at least better than other jobs accesible to her). the way that buddhism is implicated in the behaviors and mentalities of so many people we meet is something i have been thinking about a lot. my thoughts up to this point are still pretty scattered but i am thinking about this focus on cycles and luck, and the mater-of-fact-ness dead center between good and bad/happy and sad place that people speak from. Bee’s story was similar although Bee is going to night school a few days a week which i think is very expensive. Her thoughts on luck and sadness with a matter-of -fact presentation struck me deeply too. my thoughts feel pretty intense but jumbled. i do know that on a practical level the “thank you’s” are more easily following the “no’s” after interacting with these women.



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0 responses to “apathy at bay”

  1. Dad aka Mark says:

    Isn’t it nice to be reminded of how very lucky we are?

    Having empathy for those who have little or nothing is so good for the soul !

    I love you for who you are and for who you are becoming.

    Ps. The new header is very cool- I don’t think that Ostritches get the flu !

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