When Good Beaches Go Bad – Koh Pha Gnan, Thailand
After milling about the jungle for a bit among the leeches and the monkeys, Erika and I decided that a few days away from the beach merited one thing: to get back to the beach. Cousin Joe advised us on an itinerary and Koh Pha Gnan, (pronounced koh pa nyan and known for crazy parties) was next on the list.
Getting there, as with getting anywhere in Thailand, was a little tricky. As usual, we had the choice of trying to find the connections ourselves or just giving in to the tourist circuit and booking the whole thing through. We were tired, so we booked it, which turned out to be a bad idea, as we were dropped off at the same crazy tour agency who made us wait 4 extra hours last time and this time they were claiming we’d have to stay in town an extra night. Lies, all lies! We stormed out of there, found our way to the dock, and bought a ticket on the night boat, easy as pie.
A long night passed as we rocked in our big wooden boat on thin pads on the floor, trying to sleep through the heat and mosquitoes. By 7am we docked at yet another beautiful island with glowing teal waves and white sand. Unfortunately for me, though many seem to like it, it’s also infested with tourists looking to drink, smoke, and drink. The shiny clean beach atmosphere sags under their presence. An excerpt from my journal describes it best:
My mouth fills with sweet coconut cream and crushed ice and I wonder what these daily banana-coconut shakes that so happily replaced chai could be doing for my cholesterol. Oh well. I’m only here for a few more weeks so I relish the silky white stuff and decide not to think about the fat.
I decided not to go out last night and instead slept soundly, waking around 6:30am to the hurried sounds of heavy rain. It’s 9:00am now and I’m sitting outside our hotel waiting for Erika to get back from the tattoo shop where she’s saying goodbye to her new Thai friends. The road is drying out slowly in the sun and the hotel guy plays with his baby boy, smiling and naked from the waist-down, little bells ringing on golden anklets about his pudgy baby feet. It’s already hot outside and the air is heavy, pressing down on my sticky skin, saturating my clothes, which cling to my sweaty body.
The heat is the one constant that ties this island town together. Everything else is constantly changing shape. Stores open and close at strange hours, some seem to disappear altogether. It’s almost impossible to give someone directions to a place as the little shop next to it is sure to exist at night but may morph into a wall during the day. And the periodic rains bring out the eaves, the reflections, and the smells. Crowds of “farang” (foreigners) pulse through the streets in clots and then, a day later, it’s quiet again. But never completely quiet as each restaurant catering to the Western masses plays pop music and episodes of Friends on loop during the day and a string of movies at night.
These islands have been turned into a playground for the drunk and painted over with thick, chipping Americana. Little pieces of the original Thailand show through the cracks but for the most part, it’s missing. Places like this are enjoyable for the beautiful beach and the existence of peanut butter and crepes but also make me mourn the loss of something older that has retreated into the deep side streets and unknown towns. Why travel thousands of miles only to feel like you’re home, or worse, in the thick of Saturday night in a college town? The beach alone is nice, but less lustrous when full of hung over honkeys.
Erika had a good birthday on the island, nonetheless, spending it in the tattoo shop getting a bamboo tattoo. We went on a snorkel trip but found that they, too, were catering to the masses and passed around buckets of alcohol and pot. I just wanted to get in the water and see some fish but most of the snorkeling gear was broken.
Koh Pha Gnan is a partiers’ paradise. But to everyone else, it’s just partiers running amok on a beautiful backdrop.
Today we’re back in Bangkok, busy as ever, and tomorrow it’s off to Cambodia to see if we can find some tradition.
Tags: beach, party, snorkel, tattoo, Thailand, Travel
bonniecaton
June 11th, 2007 at 10:56 am
It’s always disappointing to hear where the ugly American has shown its face in the world of international travel, especially in a place as beautiful as Thailand. I was certainly happy only to encounter a handful of Americans on my time spent in New Zealand and Australia. I only hope those countries remain unscathed until I can return again. Best of luck with rest of your travels.
June 11th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
Thanks, Josh! And I’ll have to make it to New Zealand one of these days.
June 12th, 2007 at 8:15 am
Nice frog! I am going to NZ this winter (summer), so it’s great to hear more good news about it.
June 12th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
There is something about drunks…they like to inhabit spots where things are cheap. Hotels, food, booze, drugs, sex are often cheaper “out there” beyond the Marriotts and TravelLodges. And the law is a bit more loose as well. Often there is a beach too because that attracts those of the western underbelly who can be satisfied on the cheap. The living is easy. Everybody makes “some” money with little effort. It is hard to escape.
I don’t think it is solely Americana though. I have seen some pretty drunk Aussies. Just because it is a dive that attracts Americans doesn’t mean the whole scene is part of the American experience. I think it is a human condition. It is just that Americans, to date, have had more of the leisure, money, and appetites that are drawn to these party beaches.
I wonder what will happen as the American economy circles into a recession. Will the beaches return to some pristine state or become havens for the newly monied Chinese looking for….cheap hotels, food, booze, drugs, and sex. Humm…. just part of the human condition I think. Luckily it is not the WHOLE of the human condition.
June 12th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
No, I agree that the drunkenness and presence of people looking for cheap thrills was more aussie, brit, and canuk than US. But the pieces of flair in the shops and restaurants were an American influence. The Friends episodes, the hamburgers, the music coming from the restaurants.
It will be interesting to see how the world (and tourism) changes in the next 20 years.
June 14th, 2007 at 3:17 am
The more time I spend in Thailand the more I agree. I feel like such a tourist most of the time, forgetting that it’s home for so many, not just some where to drink, hook up and buy cheap stuff. I hope I find the real stuff someday, maybe with my tatto friends I sort of did, but as always I don’t know what/who I can trust.
Calories?! Banana shakes are full of nothing but good stuff like love and joy 🙂
June 15th, 2007 at 8:47 am
Communications and commercialism are pervasive. I mean, where have you been in your global trek where you were unable to access the internet? There are cultural differences but there is so much cultural sameness as well. I don’t think this is some American plot or unique attribute of Americans – it is just the nature our world in our time. I think, for the past few decades (moments) (post-WWII), the American culture has had the most money and the most media. That is the effect you see. Are you feeling an embarrassment of riches? Our time will fade.
I think it is a human experience. Look at all the remnants of the Roman Empire that you have seen in France and England. Rome was the big dog in their day. I wonder who will be next.
Of course it will be easier to talk about this when you both return – face-to-face, over a meal or swinging in a hammock. Maybe we are all saying the same thing – or talking in parallel.
I miss you…
June 17th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
Not a good idea to “go native” and get a tatoo in a local shop. The two big H’s are rampant over there: HIV & Hepatitus. Watch your health!
June 18th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
True. She did make sure they were using a new needle straight out of the package.
October 17th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
I could not agree with you more about how “wrong” the Hat Rin section of Koh Phangan is. However, it’s a big island and once you leave the Full Moon Party zone, there are some really lovely places that are not touristy. I enjoyed three weeks of solitude with a terrific Thai family on Koh Phangan. Head to the northwest corner of the island.
December 19th, 2007 at 8:30 am
Sounds nice! Thanks for the tip.