Trains, Toilets and Tuktuks
Feb 22-25
After our less than inspiring introduction to Thailand, we decided to get out of Bangkok as quickly as possible. The next morning we got up early and caught the train to Chiang Mai, a small beautiful city in Northern Thailand (a 12 hour trip). Claude slept most of the way while the kids and I chatted with our neighbouring passengers. We met Leigh, a wheat farmer from Edmonton, who travels during the winter every year and was traveling around Thailand with a young couple who were friends of the family. He kept the kids and I entertained for most of the trip by playing with the kids and telling tales of his adventures abroad and, by the end of the ride, Simon was treating him like a surrogate grandpa.
When we finally arrived, we took a wild high-speed tuktuk ride through the streets of Chiang Mai
to our guesthouse, “Awanna Sleep and Swim,” one of the few guesthouses in town with a swimming pool. While very lovely, at 1200 baht ($40 Cdn) per night, it was probably the most expensive guesthouse in Chiang Mai, so the next morning Claude went out and found us cheaper digs at Top North Guesthouse which also had a pool (although the rooms were not as clean) for 700 baht/night (~$23Cdn). After we moved over to Top North, Claude decided to stay close to the bathroom and sat by the pool with the kids while I explored the city on my own.
By that evening, however, my stomach was starting to twist in knots and the thought of food (especially pork balls) made me nauseated. I ended up spending the next miserable 48 hours in our room, running to the bathroom every half hour day and night. I was so weak; I could barely get out of bed and couldn’t keep any food in my stomach. Somewhere nearby, someone played Buddhist meditation music nonstop and, as I hung over the toilet, it burned itself into my brain (om mane padme hum). Every time I heard that music from then on, I felt a wave of nausea; unfortunately for me, that music is very popular in South East Asia. The kids insisted on keeping me company and I got to enjoy nonstop Disney channel (often in Thai) and Alexa wrote me a lovely illustrated story. Here it is (minus the illustrations):
“First, my mom eat som little balls in Thieland and it made her sic and I tak caer of her. Next, I went to get her som tost. Then I rote her a story and I droow pchrs fore it to. Last I red it to her.” How cute is that? I guess we need to work some more on spelling before we get back.
Thank goodness we had chosen a place with a pool because it gave the kids something to do while I recovered and Claude was able to relax and enjoy the sun. Simon and Alexa made friends with the girls from the in-house spa who spent their free time drawing pictures and practicing them their English with them. The kids helped them to prepare the herbal packs for the herbal massages and they even taught Simon how to give a wicked hand massage (which he used to charm women everywhere we went from then on).
The worst part for me was the night, though, because I couldn’t sleep and the paper-thin walls left little to the imagination. Imagine my horror when, around midnight, the 50-something European sex tourist in the next room brought home a little souvenir from the local bar. Their conversation went something like this:
“So what you like, mister, tee hee hee?”
“You know, I no like just boom boom then bye-bye. I vant talk.”
“OK, tee hee, you like I spank?”
“You vant I take my pants off now?”
“Tee hee, OK.”
Now I really wanted to throw up! Use your imagination for the next 2 minutes because I put the pillow over my head at this point. The next thing I heard was:
“I take shower now, tee hee.”
“You vant I join you?”
“NO!” (bathroom door slams)
Finally, on the third morning I dragged myself out of our room to join Claude and the kids for breakfast. As we sat down, I noticed a skinny little gray-haired man in Bermuda shorts with black socks pulled up to his knees seated at the next table. I choked on my juice when I heard him call out to the waitress, “Excuse me miss, I vould like some more coffee.” Claude looked at me like I had lost my marbles.
Tags: Chiang Mai, South East Asia, Thailand, Travel
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