A Return to Grocery Shopping
Yesterday I went grocery shopping for perhaps the first time in about six years. Apart from the obvious lack of need while working on the ships, there was also a complete lack of need while traveling around India, Southeast Asia or wherever I have been. Twenty cent fresh samosas from the streets of Delhi beat a can of Bumble Bee tuna any day.
But despite my extended absence from large food stores worldwide, I felt oddly comfortable yesterday behind the steering bar of the sturdy, metal grocery cart within minutes. But to the lady whose heel I smashed into and to the elderly gentleman whose hip I rammed and probably fractured, my sincerest apologies that my initial rust was shaken off at your expense.
I spent exactly 49 minutes in the store, a lot longer than I had anticipated. Most of the time was spent wondering what exactly I would do with a jar of mayonnaise the size of a gas pump, why donut peaches exist and how many other shapes pickles can be sliced into.
When I could not remember which aisle had the containers of soy milk, I fell into a panic and sped chaotically along the shiny floor, criss-crossing the entire store wondering what kind of world we live in where the soy milk is not located right next to the regular milk. In fact, it was on the other side of the store, right next to the oatmeal and across from the frozen peas. I am thinking about writing a letter to the manager because that is just not right.
My total bill came to $79.89, an amount I considered to be reasonable for covering all of the basics – fruit, vegetables, cheese, bread, cereal and yogurt…and Bumble Bee tuna of course. I even bought a 12-pack of Yuengling after convincing the cashier that I was in fact over 21 despite having forgotten my driver’s license. He did have to call over his supervisor for advice, but she simply glanced in my direction from about twenty-feet away and yelled out, “I guess he looks 21!” I sure do.
As I drove out of the parking lot, with my bags of goodies ever so neatly placed in the trunk exactly as a responsible grocery shopper should do, one of my favorite songs came on the radio, “No One to Run With” by the Allman Brothers. Naturally I began to dance, right there in the driver’s seat of my mid-size rental car, beating my hands on the steering wheel, shaking my head all around and screaming out such phrases of excitement as “Woohoo!” and “Alright now!”
I turned onto Atlantic Avenue just as the sun faded beyond the neat rows of planted palm trees, creating a most eye-pleasing combination of colors splattered across the sky. I observed the people walking on the sidewalks and the children riding their bicycles, the dogs running in the park and the line of four cars waiting to use the drive-up ATM while the regular ATM at the front of the bank had nobody waiting at all. ‘This is life on land’ I thought to myself, and for a moment I began to think about how happy I am to be off the ships.
And then I accidentally ran through a red light. I immediately turned the music off and nervously looked around in every direction. Would I be caught?
No, not this time. No police in sight. Nodding exaggeratedly to myself in defiant relief, I cranked up the music once again and continued dancing, having completely forgotten what I was thinking about a few seconds before. All I could think about now was sinking my teeth into a sweet donut peach.
*For the time being I will be staying in Florida, at least for a few weeks. This decision has been made as it is the easiest and most hassle-free way for me to get organized. And it is warm and the beach is just down the road.
Tags: In the USA
dbaron
Leave a Reply