ChinaTeacher

I “LOST IT” in a sports shop earlier today.  That’s right, it’s not all fun and games when you live in a foreign country.  You try not to let the little things get to you, but sometimes….!

I was waiting in line to buy something, noting how many of the local shoppers were cutting in front of one another; in fact, one couple even had the audacity to approach the Customer Service desk and insist they be checked out there!  As for me, my line was taking forever so I switched to another one.  By the time I got to the counter, the girl said “sorry, this is for Credit Cards only”.

I started to explain about all the lines and the couple at the Customer Service desk, but realized: she didn’t have enough English to understand, and I certainly didn’t have enough Chinese to explain it all.  So I moved away, planning to join yet another line.  But then… my anger erupted – I threw my purchases on a display, yelled my head off and stomped out of the store, shaking my head as I went.  I felt so much rage – in fact it took several minutes for me to calm down again.

Generally, I walk around with a friendly look on my face, one that encourages people to say hello.  But after that incident, when a guy said “hello” to me in a supermarket a little later on, I just glared at him.

I realized I was no longer in the mood for shopping.  In fact, I started feeling quite emotional, and started to cry.  Sometimes I find it so damn difficult getting myself understood.  At times like this I just want to pack it all in and head back to Canada!

It was then that I decided, perhaps I should just head home until I was in a better frame of mind.  It’s not easy for a foreigner to get away with making such a scene – we are so easily recognized.  Hmm, I wonder if that store will ever let me shop there again? 

This kind of situation has occurred before, but usually I manage to avoid making scenes.  I do, however, go through intense feelings of frustration and anger.  They usually pass, but it takes time.  Whenever this kind of thing happens, I usually hide in my apartment until I feel better.  As a result, my students all think I am happy all the time!  Little do they know!!!

I think this kind of thing must happen to most people who live in a foreign country.  I think things slowly build up to the boiling point and finally, one small thing can just set you off. 

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