Backpacking Trip 2010

We are leaving San Jose today and headed east to Puerto Viejo! Contrary to what we had heard about San Jose, we have thoroughly enjoyed this busy city! It has similarities to Miami (the driving) and NY (the hustle and bustle). Yesterday Katie and I ventured out, we decided to just keep walking until we didn´t want to anymore. We found so many beautiful parks, art, mercados (markets), and local hang outs. We managed to navigate the city on our own without asking for directions, which we were very proud about! We came back to our hostel briefly and then took a 15 minute bus ride to San Pedro, a close neighboring city. The receptionist at the hostel, Vinzente, said he was going to San Pedro to meet his girl friend at the Universidad de Costa Rica and he would show us how to get there. So, we got great advice from this friendly tico about La Fortuna (where he is from) and got recommendations (getting advice from the locals has been the BEST!) and had a great time just talking and learning. We got to San Pedro and followed him to the Universidad, the we went our separate ways. Katie and I decided to walk the campus, which was basically a school in the middle of a gorgeous and lush forest. We explored the city, then decided to find a spot to stop and eat. We kept walking until we found just the right spot; a local hotspot called Bufalos. That was when & where we experienced our first prejudice. It is also where I had the best veggie nachos I´ve ever eaten and also where we discovered malfado, a green colored kind-of-like-a-beer drink. We hung out there for longer than we had planned (because of the prejudice, it took about 3 times as long to order, get our drinks, then our food) and by that time it was dark and we needed to head back to San Josue because we had plans to meet up with our new roomies, Bibi and Shannon, and one of the employees at the hostel, Jonathon, to go out dancing! So, we bused back to San Jose, navigated the city again, this time in the dark (it gets pitch black here at 5:30pm) and found our way successfully (we´re finally getting a hang of things). When Katie and I got back, one of our original roommates, Veronica, had gotten back from Monteverde and she was going to come out with us, too! So, me, Katie, Bibi, Veronica and Shannon all went out! We were going to be meeting Jonathon at a bar close to the hostel, called Poas (like a volcano here), and then he was going to take us out dancing! When we met up with Jonathon, he had brought a friend, Paolo, to come out too, so it ended up being seven of us! Paolo spoke VERY little english so it was difficult trying to communicate with him but luckily Shannon speaks fluent spanish as well as Jonathon so we were all able to communicate well. Me and Katie have been wanting to go out at night since we got here but we didn´t weren´t going out by ourselves and we´ve ended up going to bed before 10pm every night because we´ve just been tired. So, we finally got to go out and see San Jose at night, with some ticos, and we knew they´d take us to a cool place. We all ended up taking a bus back to San Pedro to a district called Calle 3, basically a strip of bars, and went to a place called Terra O, a total local hot spot. We hung out there until around 11pm and the girls (Shannon, Bibi and Veronica) were tired and wanted to go back to the hostel (Bibi is flying out today, Veronica has a job interview, and Shannon was just tired). The last bus was at 11 and they had just missed it so we all walked San Pedro until we found a cab terminal. It was sooooooo much fun, all of us walking the city, talking, laughing, taking pictures. We had a blast! We all rendevoused back at the hostel but Katie and weren´t ready to turn in yet, after all, it was our first night out in the city and we are leaving today. So, me, Katie, Jonathon and Paolo went to a place by the hostel to play pool. By that time, all of the prostitutes had come out. Prostitution is legal here and I was kind of disappointed I hadn´t seen a prostitute yet! lol. Well, we saw plenty last night, it was insane! And probably the most insane part about it, is that they are all transvestites!!!!! The guys here say it is so wrong they are men because they are so pretty! lol. They call them ¨pretty men.¨ I tried not to make eye contact! lol. Anyway, we went to this hole in the wall place and played about six games of pool. What we think is a bad pool table and pool stick in the states is nothing close to a bad pool table and pool sticks here! lol. We switched partners for the first two games, then the guys said, ¨guys against girls.¨Katie and I won the last four games and the boys ended up buying all of our drinks because we kept winning! haha. Then we called it a night and the guys walked us back to the hostel, passing about ten more transvestite prostitutes on the way! We had such an amazing day, walking and exploring all day, then going out with our awesome roommates and dancing, then going out with our new tico amigos and playing pool! Yesterday was the first day it hadn´t rained in a very long time and everyone was excited about it! As much fun as we´ve had in San Jose, we are greatly looking forward to moving on to a new city. We´ve been here three nights and today is our fourth day and we have already been fully exposed and emersed in the culture here. It feels like we´ve been here two weeks already, based on how many (AMAZING) people we´ve met and things we´ve done and things we´ve seen! We´ve met and made so many new friends, ticos, ticas and gringos and gringas! We have to check out in a few hours and then we´re taking a five hour bus ride to the Caribbean coast to the hippy/rasta surf town of Puerto Viejo. We´ll be staying at a hostel called Rockin´Js where we can sleep in a hammock for $5/day or a tent for $6/day (I´ll be doing the hammock thing!). We´ve heard from many people that we will love Puerto Viejo and Rockin Js is the place to be! We´re not sure how long we´ll be staying there but after that we have a loose plan to go to Monteverde. We actually know people who are going there or are there or will be there and we´d like to meet back up with them there. We´ve got a loose plan to go to Monteverde, then Arenal, La Fortuna, Liberia, then the Guanacaste region, then traveling down the coast. Again, it is all tentative because if we meet people and they recommend a place to go and convince us, we will go, which is how we found out about Puerto Viejo. So, I´ll keep in touch and let you all know when I know! My spanish has improved greatly and I have already grown as a person in just the short time we´ve been here. I could get used to this!

I´ll be doing A LOT less calling than I thought. Unfortunately, the price for phone cards is too expensive. A 3000 colones phone card (or $6 phone card) gets me less than 5 MINUTES to the US. Sorry guys, I can´t afford that! I´ll be doing A LOT more emailing and blogging, so keep checking my blogs. I would love to keep sending individual response emails to each of you on Yahoo but don´t know how often I´ll be around internet, specifically free internet. I´m writing so much now because we just got here and I´m trying to keep everyone informed. Fortuntely, the majority of the hostels in this country offer free internet/computer usage so that will be a HUGE help and bonus! The sun has been out all day so far and we just got back from walking around San Jose with our two remaining roomies, Veronica and Laila, who are both awesome people I´m fortunate to have met! Laila speaks Portugese which has been a big help, also. Laila and Veronica are both leaving today to go to Monteverde; Laila will be there for 7 weeks but Veronica will be coming back tomorrow night, so we´ll still get to see her again before we leave San Jose. We´ll definitely be going up to Monteverde to meet up with Laila! I just love everyone´s stories, why they´re here, how they got here, where they´re going, their journey to get here so far. We haven´t heard back from Alyssa about the beach trip we had talked about taking together, but it´s only been a day so we hope to hear back from them soon. If not, we aren´t worried about it because we have so many others things to do and places to see. We haven´t gotten ahold of Parker yet and we did find out this morning that her flight got cancelled, so the next step is unsure. But, like I said, we have no where to be and nothing to do but everything and nothing! As of this point, I have the world at my disposal, I can go everywhere, do everything and anything and be anyone I want to be. For the first time in my life, I have no obligations, no one to answer to, no where to be, nothing to do and I am truly free. It feels amazing to look at the mountains surrounding me and know that I have the rest of my life ahead of me…my profession is now a writer and photographer! I´m picking up more and more spanish with each passing hour and I´m feeling better about that! It can feel overwhelming at times to have a world around you speaking to you and you have no idea what they´re saying or what to say in response to them. It puts into perspective people coming into the US and don´t ever learn our language; I couldn´t do it! The most frequent things I´ve said are, ¨Lo ciento¨(I´m sorry), ¨Hablo un poco de espanol¨(I speak little spanish), Ëntiendo un poco de espanol¨(I understand a little spanish), Ëstoy mirando¨(I´m just looking), and ¨Donde es….¨(Where is…¨), ¨Mucho gusto¨(I like very much), and the two full sentences I know: ¨Por favor puede hablar mas despacio.¨(Can you please speak more slowly) and ¨No, lo ciento, estoy mirando pero mucho gusto¨(No, Im sorry, Im just looking but I like very much). lol. I´m learning! lol. I know I stick out like a sore thumb and hope more and more as the days go by that I start looking more like a tica! Well, we´re getting ready to consult our lonely planet book for maps so we can venture further out into the city before it starts raining (it hasn´t rained yet today but it will, oh yes, it will!). I´ll just end this blog with, the weather here has been AMAZING, even considering the rain. The weather, I would guess, is in the mid-70s with a cool breeze; I got goosebumps this morning! It´s been so relieving and wish you all the same relief from the heat soon! Talk to you soon! xoxoxo, Ang.

We made it! I´ve been up since 4:30 this morning and it´s been non-stop going, going, going since then. Flying into the country was absolutely gorgeous and ít looked like something out of a dream. I kept looking out of the window saying, ¨This is unreal!¨ I knew coming here would be different from anything I´ve ever known and even then, I knew it would be different than the different I thought and be completely different than any idea I had and it has proved to be true. Katie and I arrived at the hostel about 3 hours ago and it’s been such an adventure just to get to this point! Even though we´ve been planning since last August, we got here and felt grossly unprepared! We had a map on how to get to the hostel and knew which bus to take to get there but the map does no good when there are absolutely no street signs to indicate where we were or where we were going or when we needed to get off the bus. Fortunately, we followed the bus in the right direction (all we knew was to go southeast) and we ended up at a bus terminal about 10 blocks away from where we needed to be. But, seeing as there are no street signs, we had no idea where we were other than we knew we were in the right vicinity. As soon as we got off the bus, we met two locals (Nicky, a guy, and Alyssa, a girl) who also got off at the same terminal and happened to think we needed help. By that time, it was downpouring. And you all have no idea what downpouring means until you experience downpouring in Costa Rica! haha. Anyway, Nicky didn´t speak any english but Alyssa did so she translated for us and they wanted to help us. Alyssa is a native Floridian who moved here yrs ago with her parents; they came here on vacation and never left so she´s been here ever since and she knew what we were experiencing. They advised us to go to a cambrio first to exchange our dollars to colones because more places than we were told don´t take us dollars. The four of us shared a taxi and Nicky paid for it for us! After we went to the cambrio and exchanged some money, the taxi got us to the hostel. During the taxi ride, we got to know our two new friends (thankfully with Alyssa´s help we were able to get to communicate with Nicky, too). We exchanged our information and hope to meet up with the both of them in the next few days, then we got dropped off at the hostel and said goodbye, til next time. The hostel is awesome, art work from wall to ceiling and over every surface, and as soon as we got here, felt like this would be a cool place to stay for a few days and stay even longer than the two days we had planned. Things aren´t looking good with Parker and Josue´s original travel plans; we haven´t spoken with anyone on the phone since we got here, so I´m not sure how things are going, but based on the news we´re hearing, their flight most likely got cancelled. Now that they´re not meeting us here on Thursday, we are trying to plan around that, which shouldn´t be hard at all. We couldn´t find calling cards at either outbound or inbound airports and since it´s been downpouring this entire time, we can´t really venture out to get one, although we know exactly where to go when the rain stops to get one. The hostel does have an international phone but it has been occupied since we got here, which is why I´m updating my blog before calling. The hostel has plenty of computers with free internet access so I figured I would update my blog asap and email everyone that I updated my blog because I figured that would be the quickest way until I can use the phone to call. I´m sure our parents are wondering how we are and feel bad that this is all I can do right now, but it is what it is. The point is that we are here, we made it and we´re safe and we are ok and we will be getting calling cards tomorrow and calling everyone! I will be trying to call people tonight when the phone frees up. In the meantime, the downpouring rain is peaceful and calming and we´re getting ready to sit down and drink a few more Imperial´s, the Costa Rican beer here. Then, I´ll try to use the phone again and then go to bed. We¨re both exhausted and the rain and beer makes for a drowsy mind. After all of our hard work to get here, it´s so unreal that it´s finally happening! First day is halfway through and I´m already in a daze! I´ll update all of you soon! xoxo 

The time to leave Sarasota has arrived; we’re leaving tomorrow. The enormity of what I’m really doing has finally sunk in. Last night was our going away party and it was one incredible night! I said so many goodbyes, too many it feels like. Although originally I was dreading the goodbyes, specifically the guy I love, I am relieved that the built up and looming goodbyes have come and gone. Leaving and the trip have always been two completely separate entities for me…leaving meant letting go and saying goodbye to finally follow my dreams and the trip means starting over and searching for life, searching for myself. The thought of leaving and letting go has never affected my thoughts about the trip, negatively or positively; they’ve always been in their own little storage bin in my mind and heart. Now that the goodbyes are over, I feel so strange to be in Sarasota still, even though it’s only for one more night. I feel like the only person standing in a huge empty movie theater, staring at all of the vacant seats. I’ll never see some of these people again, these significant connections in my life. Then some of them I know I’ll see again, and yet again, some of them I’m not so sure. The unknown has always terrified me…especially and most importantly (to me) when it comes to my relationships with the people who mean the world to me. What this trip means to me and my soul can not be put into words. The impact of me deciding to take this trip ended up being and meaning so much more than I had even anticipated. I had no idea just how much personal growth I’d experience leading up to the trip. The hard part is over now and the next part of my journey awaits me, just around the next bend. It came so quickly, June did. And just like that, I’m going, going, gone. I will keep everyone up to date on my travels as often as I can and will sincerely do my best to do so as frequently as possible. Tomorrow we’re leaving to Jacksonville, which will be the last leg of pre-trip plans. Then, we’re off! I can’t believe I’m moving away from Sarasota! And I can’t believe I’m going backpacking through Central and South America for the next four months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The next time I write in my blog, my feet will be in international soil! Til next time….xoxo

My mind is a constant wheel of thought…more like a tornado, of late. I want to stay awake as late as I can, to get as much out of the day that I can, and I have been (although the results of staying up so late haven’t always been productive, more thoughtful and contemplative than anything). What sleep I have gotten has been interrupted by the ever constant wave of thoughts that now seep into the surface of my sub consciousness. My appetite has been derelict, more like virtually non-existent. As much as I am in love with food and taste, I am okay with my current state of hunger, rather lack thereof. I have too much to do; I don’t even think about it, more about the ball of emotional pain and uncertainty presently residing in the pit of my stomach. More important thoughts and feelings to have and to feel…I am aware that the primary content of my blogs contain a certain vulnerable desperation, and as they should. I realize my blogs are public and I’m not sure who is reading them, if anyone, but I want you to know: do not allow my most vocal desperations overshadow the root of the emotions I feel regarding the trip. Do not allow these detailed meanderings sway you to think I am not the three e’s: exulted, elated and ecstatic. I am all of those and all of the feelings that exist in the rainbow spectrum of emotions, with or without a word to accurately explain them. I know as soon as I leave and am finally surrounded by the world I fiercely crave, I will be fine. Right now, I’m experiencing the “breaking away.” Breaking away is always the hardest part of starting over….letting go. My heart feels like a hysterical, maniacal animal, trapped and caged and uncertain of what to think, say or do; it’s arduous to let go. My mind is a whirlwind of thought, reflection and criticism. This description can not describe the precise and exact emotions running through my veins, and is not all of what I feel; there is exponentially much more. I know once the break is made, relief will flood from the tip of my hair to the end of my toenails. I am beyond curious of the unknown, mostly because I am terrified of the unknown. I’m not coming back here. I am taking the backpacking trip with Katie, but my trip does not end there; it is only the beginning. After these international travels, I am traveling the continental U.S. I want to see the world, and I will. I am. The trip commences in Central America but it is never ending. I often wonder if people are ever truly happy with their lives, or are they all settling. I knew from the start that I can never settle which is ironic because I have been trying to do just that my entire adult life. I am leaving what I’ve ever known and experienced for good and never looking back, only forward. Also ironic because at the same time, I could stay here, with him, and stay there every day for the rest of my life. It is not in my future (and it is only currently my infrequent present), and I need to let that go more than any thing else. I’ll be in the future in half a breath. I’m in the future now. I can no longer look behind. The time for that has come and gone…I am I and all that I am and all that I know how to be. I am happy in this place, as I know I will be happy wherever my heart shall lead me (and wherever I shall follow).

The enormity of leaving and what I’m leaving for, what I’m leaving behind, what I’m trying to find, what I’m looking for, has knocked me with full force! It’s weighing down my mind… Everyone has flaws, it is part of our humanity, and my biggest flaw to date has been two things: I take (and always have) every thing personally, internalize it all, thinking, thinking thinking…always. The second is setting myself up for failure/self-sabotaging myself, for some reason I felt I had deserved to feel that way. I’m ready to break away from the past and I will (and I am). I am finally seizing my opportunity, doing something wholly for myself (no small feat for me), and I am left in no-mans land on the cusp of the biggest change of my life. I wish I could sum up my feelings with a word, with words, but no such word comes to mind or could even begin to encompass the thoughts and emotions surging through my being in this moment. My connections here are pulsing, the threads draw me to them; yet these most tender connections whisper of safety nets and comfort foods. I must break away…as sure as I know this trip is necessary to my soul, it strikes the deepest chords in my heart, also thrusts the most important aspect of my life onto the forefront of my mind: my relationships. My heart has ultimately ruled the final decisions I’ve made, I follow my heart, my emotions are the maestro of the orchestra that is my life. And I am in love…to leave behind what certainly isn’t and wasn’t and never was mine (and never will be), to begin anew, is the hardest part of leaving. It seems foolish to think about the relationship we have, at this point, I know. However, I can’t help but feel the way I do (and have) and have come to accept it. Aside from knowing he cares about me greatly, I don’t really know the depths of his feelings for me but it doesn’t matter, because I still feel the way I do about him. “For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” I will be taking that with me along the journey; as well as the rest of the people who mean so very much to me. I was never “rich”, nor have strived to be so, nor do I intend to be particularly wealthy, strictly successful, I feel rich in love. I have never needed possessions, just the connections I have made with the people who are as dear to my heart as they are and have become. In that respect, I feel like richest person in the entire world. I’m only twenty-five, soon (very soon) to be twenty-six, and already I have had the opportunities to experience the emotions I have and feel the love I have made from the connections in my life, and to have been presented with the most beautifully amazing life…if my life is as good as it is already (and as good as one could hope for), how is it possible to get any better? I’m getting ready to find out what else is out there; what I have been waiting my whole life to find. And at such a sacrifice…self discovery and soul searching (although irreplacable and completely necessary) does come at a high cost: it means leaving behind everything you’ve ever known and felt to begin anew, to become the person you have always been, the person that has been laying dormant until the moment of discovery. I wanted a trip. I wanted to go. I got what I wanted and so much more….and I haven’t even left yet.

I remember that night like it was yesterday…after all, it was just “yesterday” that Katie and I were sitting at Applebee’s for happy hour discussing the current views on our lives, what we had, what was lacking, and what we wanted. Of course our wants/needs out of life were/are different but the answer to the questions we had ended up the same solution: travel. We were previously reminiscing of our time in NY together and traveling and the idea came to us to travel again; this time we wanted big. We came up with our travel destinations fairly easily and in complete agreement; we were both looking to visit the not so timeless locations. I knew leaving the restaurant that night that we were both dead serious and I knew it was only a matter of time before it really happened. The trip kind of started off growing its own roots, starting itself and the ball just rolled along. The time to leave is here, practically tomorrow. The time flew by and I am on the verge of this life-changing trip. I am greatly looking forward to the exposure to multiple cultures, broadening my perspective of the world, growing as a human being, and finding new strengths in myself that have laid dormant until needed. I have been focused on the trip for so long that now that it is time to leave, I am finding out just what leaving really means, what I’ll be leaving behind to seek the knowledge and experience I have craved for so long. I have no doubt in my mind that I am making the right choice in my life, but it doesn’t help the reality of walking away from someone I love dearly, whom I’m not sure I will ever see again. I’m shedding my old skin, I’m leaving behind what I know, I’m finally releasing the restless cagged bird flittering inside my heart to find life, to live life. As exciting as this is, it is also bittersweet. I’m going to miss this place far more than I thought I would…I’m going to miss the people here too much and the love I leave behind. As much as I’m going to grow on this trip, the preparations alone have already stretched the limits of my own heart and I have learned much already. I can’t wait to see what comes….