Am I Corn or Kale?

No matter how wonderfully connected the modern age has allowed us to be, it’s been impossible to convey every single fun, awkward, or pseudo-tragic moment of our trip through this blog. We hope it was not too much of a drag to read, and that the pictures turned out at least OK (it‘s hard for us to tell because our netbook‘s screen is not that much bigger than the camera display!).

As a celebratory farewell (technically, homecoming), we put together a collection of silly signs we’ve encountered throughout our journey, accompanied by the eventual comments or quasi-funny one-liners. Don’t expect anything too special — some of our favorite signs went by too quickly to be properly registered, but perhaps we could work on hand-drawn renditions of the “yield to explosive children playing” sign we saw in Slovenia, or the “troll crossing” one in Norway.

***
Thailand had no lack of good signage.

The owners of this establishment must have thought the different colors would be sufficient to distinguish between these two services, but we couldn’t help but conjure the mental picture of a digital “Internet Massage”.

Mom is mad about something.

Deer have a good evacuation plan in case of fire and logging. Humans are more concerned about water.

We wrote about the elephant dung paper factory a while ago, but I don’t think we included this fine sign on the post. Sadly, we never made it to the demonstration.

At first, it looks like the (mis)spelling will be the star of the sign we found in our bungalow‘s bathroom, but there’s more to it.

Not sure about this one, either.

Keep track of your belongings or they will end up with a different species.

The two bathroom doors below were side by side, making us wonder what could possibly be so different about a monk’s hygiene or human condition.

Europe’s signs were more low-key, but we were impressed to see that bike paths are fully integrated into Budapest’s transit system.

Sitting on the edge of a castle tower in Slovenia might lead to being shot in the leg and face by a nail gun.

Slovenian girls wear funny bows in their hair, in a nice example of gender/age stereotyping.

We saw this sign in construction zones all over the old continent, so Europeans must not think much of Robocop being a member of the terrorist organization that plotted the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and thus kickstarted World War I, the Black Hand.

Czech political cartoonists are certainly not honeymooning the country’s politicians.

This failure of a sign is what Copenhagen boat tours can offer to their customers in substitution for the Little Mermaid statue.

We found the name of this Norwegian coffee shop to be wittily worldly.

***

That’s it. We are very grateful for our families and friends who have helped us put ourselves through so many awesome situations and experiences, as well as the friends we made along the way. There is no point typing about the impact this trip has had in our lives because the whole thing is not even close to sinking in, and most importantly, talking is still a preferred method of communication.

An addendum: we kept a fairly accurate record of our expenses throughout the trip, so if anyone is curious/interested about how much cash you’d need to save for an extended trip, we’d love to chat about that too. During our research we found that to be the unanswerable question that every traveler asks when preparing for such adventure. Of course, there are endless variables that affect traveling expenses, out of which we will be enthusiastically promoting CouchSurfing and sandwich-making.

At last, a list. These were the TOP 5 travel items we could not have done without, and why:

1) wool socks — they work magically well when it’s hot, cold, wet… you name it. Feet are very important, and treating them well is the best idea.

2) tiny umbrella — we once read an article that proselytized against bringing an umbrella,  claiming that “if it’s raining, stay inside”. If we had heeded to this advice, we would have not gone outside for a good 3-week block of our European trek… not to mention that umbrellas work as sunbreakers too; we used them on the beach in Thailand to protect ourselves from the scorching 100-plus-degree, noon sun.

3) packing cubes — when taking your life on the road with you, it’s good to keep your basic belongings compartimentalized and packing cubes allow you to pack and unpack swiftly; most importantly, you won’t have to spend much time searching for that one item you shoved deep into your bag should you need it in the midst of a busy, shady train station.

4) bandana — because it serves multiple purposes, from picnic cloth to napkin to mud wiper. I would have had to throw away my shoes halfway through our journey if it wasn’t for one of those.

5) netbook — without it CouchSurfing, putting together train schedules, and adequately changing our plans due to the volcano would have been respectively difficult, horrible, and impossible. The added, albeit unfortunate bonus is that my MacBook’s HD decided to die two days after our return, so the netbook has been promoted to main computer status for the time being.

On that note, we are signing off.

Stockholm closed up our RTW journey. Like many other European stops, we did not do much research on the city prior to our arrival, yet again, we were able to greatly enjoy our short stay. As it turns out the Swedish capital is a gorgeous city, the real surprise being the ease of navigability, especially considering it is built over an archipelago. More so than any other Scandinavian destination, it matched the traditional grandeur and photogenic character of other capitals in continental Europe, such as Vienna and Prague.

Stockholm is in full party mode; in addition to recent graduates riding on disco trucks blaring loud dance music and spilling beer all over the place (we were not shocked or confused because Bev had told us about this tradition), there are ongoing festivities in preparation for and celebration of a royal wedding (the Swedish princess will be marrying a commoner who looks like Clark Kent in exactly 9 days).

The motto promoted by the city is that Stockholm is the 2010 European Capital of Love, and on a sunny day like the one we got after our arrival you could really tell that the campaign is working — the whole atmosphere was vibrant.

***
Gamla Stan, the old city, was both an ideal place for Nancy to pick up souvenirs and for our cameras to work overtime, particularly as the sun slowly set.

We also made it a point to visit the fantastic Vasa museum. I perceived the Vasa as the antithesis of the Kon-Tiki (which was still my favorite ship museum of the trip, hands down): while the latter was incredibly precarious yet managed to travel thousands of miles through the Pacific Ocean, the former was a massive failure, conceived as a glorious warship that sailed for less than 20 minutes in 1628, tipping over before even leaving Stockholm Bay and sinking.

The real cool story, however, was its rescue operation over 300 years later, a major feat of creativity and hard work. The ship was brought up from the ocean floor in such a long, careful and well thought out operation that 95% of the original Vasa was recovered.

***
Since the self-proclaimed “Capital of Scandinavia” was our last destination, we finally allowed ourselves to go shopping. It made no sense to accumulate volumous goods and then carrying them along for months, so our travel acquisitions up till now had been few and far between — a shirt here, a topper ware container there. In Stockholm, everything changed (I was lucky enough to find an original Czechoslovakia soccer jersey in fairly good condition — for being at least 17 years old — for only $5!). But the real shopping event, without a doubt, was our day trip to the nearby suburb of Kungens Kurva, home to the largest IKEA store in the world. It is difficult to explain how gigantic that place really is — I am certain we traveled a good mile while strolling by beautifully furnished isles, even though our mission objective was the megastore’s marvelous kitchenware. A few hours later, we were in possession of 2 large plastic cutting boards and another colossal wooden one, a 3-knife set, 2 soup bowls & plates, 1 awesome wok, 1 thermos that ended up mildly scratched by the wok, 1 loose tea strainer, 5 spatulas and other utensils, 1 grater, 4 sealable grain/cereal containers… not counting Nancy’s stuff. The low prices and superior quality and design simply could not be denied, and the giant wooden boards (Nancy also got one) put us into an great pickle, as they won’t fit into any of our bags. We spent 45 minutes wrapping them in paper, cardboard, tape, and string (all provided by IKEA) and then hopped on the free IKEA bus back into Stockholm. That’s right, not only do they offer free transportation to and fro the store, they also serve the cheapest food in all of Scandinavia at their restaurant and cafes (all located within the store) and provide families with a kids’ playroom. We heard struggling immigrant families often take advantage of IKEA’s free bus, daycare, and near-free meals (I paid $2 for a plate of meatballs and mashed potatoes, which I’d guess is about 5 to 10 times less than the national average).

***

To celebrate our last night in style we headed off to the gimmicky-yet-amusing Absolut Ice Bar. Reservations had to be made for the privilege of spending a 45-minute shift in this absurd underground environment; everybody is given the  same silly coat so they can withstand the cold (-5 C / 23 F) while sipping on minuscule Absolut Vodka drinks, awkwardly dancing to electronic music, and gawking at the ice walls and sculptures — even the cups are made of ice, brought directly from the Lapland.

We heard that Swedes despise its existence, as it is indeed nothing but a pricey tourist trap. Whatever — we felt like going somewhere bizarre to wrap up our travels, and for what it was worth, the ice bar was ideal… and actually quite entertaining!

***

After 130 days, 15 countries, 13 flights (including connections), 40+ train rides, and 32 beds or couches (not counting poorly slept nights spent on trains, planes, and buses), we are back in Benzie County. We would be lying if we said we were not ready to be home: albeit in different degrees, we had started to experience the controversial feeling of travel sickness — even though we know it’s been an amazing privilege to see so much of the world, we have slowly grown tired of switching locations every few days, and drifted closer and closer to the idea of a more permanent home base. Now that we’re here we’ll probably start experience the post-travel blues, for which we can also hardly expect sympathy. Luckily (at least for me), the World Cup starts this Friday, and for the next month I have a very specific agenda. Of course, we also have plenty of more serious business to take care of, as we prepare to move to Vermont and start law school this coming August… which doesn’t mean we’ll be leaving this blog behind just yet: there is one more post coming.

Norway has been truly enchanting; it is difficult to translate our feelings of awe into words. The natural beauty of the country rivals any of the other stunning places we’ve seen through this trip; calling it the cherry on the ... [Continue reading this entry]

Gothenburg was a silly yet logical entry to our itinerary. The largest non-capital Scandinavian city, it sits halfway between Copenhagen/Malmo area and Oslo. Gothenburg is home to a lively music and nightlife scene, and would’ve been an awesome stop if ... [Continue reading this entry]