Good cop, bad cop, just plain weird cop
I met the Mystery Birthday Boy the next morning over breakfast. He was interesting enough…the son of a Zanzibari woman and an African-American soldier, he was adopted by the-now German ambassador to Chile (if I remember the story correctly.) When his mother died, his family contacted him to inform him he had property on the island, which he now co-owns with his fat Muslim uncle (with something like 3 wives, all with whom he claims to be in love with.) I don’t remember Mystery Birthday Boy’s name, so I’ll just call him MBB. And as far as my rash goes? What was on my arm was starting to dry up already, and the roof of my mouth was less inflamed. I’ll never know what it was, though.
MBB’s property was just where I was going, so I negotiated a $10 price for the room and told him I would see him there later. I was going to the complete opposite side of the island, and planned on returning to being Jenna Evans and cruising around a bit before arriving.
There seemed to be a lot of police patrols out that day. At the first stop, I pulled over and handed over my Jenna Evans license and Zanzibar driving permit. “What’s your name?” “Jenna Evans” I said in my worst attempt at a British accent, laughing hard inside at how ridiculous my life would be if my name really was Jenna Evans. “Where are you from?” “Oh! The UK. England,” I said, nodding my head in agreemeent with what I was saying. We exchanged some pleasantries and I was off. Being Jenna Evans was a piece of cake!
I got stopped a little while later, pulled out my license and we went through the same routine. He searched my bike for the insurance decal, which I was quick to find for him. “You don’t have a mirror,” he informed me. I had noticed this…driving that darn thing would have been a lot better if I did have one. “This is a very serious offense. Would you like to go to court on Monday?” I didn’t really care if I went to court at all…I figured he was bluffing, anyway and just wanted a bribe. But I didn’t call his bluff. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never bribed a police officer before, and there were a bunch of other officers watching…I thought I might get in more trouble for trying to bribe him.
After some discussion, and subtle hints of me offering something to him, he took me to some office on the side of the road. “I want to help you get out of this,” he told me. Yeah, right. “How much?” “Ten thousand shillings (maybe $7)” As I reached in my bag to pull out the money (fuming inside, but without a thought to bargain with him) he said: “Uh, 20,000!” I scolded him for getting even greedier, gave him the 10,000 shillings, and headed to my bike, assuring him I would check into getting a mirror on the bike.
I still wasn’t sure if the mirror thing was true or not, and considered going back to Stone Town to investigate, in lieu of having to pay more 10,000 shilling bribes, but decided against it. Next time, I told myself, I would argue against it and definitely not give such a large “bribe”. Hitting the south of the island, I met another roadblock.
Once again I pulled out my Jenna Evans license and Zanzibar driving permit and handed it over to the fat policeman. We went over my name and where I was from, how I liked Zanzibar, and all that. “My, you’re pretty” he told me. Embarrassed, I thanked him, although a bit nervous about him looking at the photo of Jenna, with her straight, dark-brown hair and long, thin face. Luckily the helmet and sunglasses served as a nice disguise.
“Can I kiss your picture?” he asked. OK…weird. “Oohh, uh, I don’t know.” “I’ll just kiss the picture on your license. Just one quick little kiss.” “Hmm…alright. But I’m not going to look.” I put my hand over my eyes, peeking through my fingers while he looked at me and went down for a quick peck with Jenna Evans’s picture. I was so glad that he was kissing Jenna and not me. I uncovered my eyes and we exchanged a few weird laughs about the whole thing. I changed the subject by asking for directions to where I was going and pulled away.
I cruised around the southern end of the island before heading to the guesthouse that MBB partly owned. After going way past it, driving the bike in sand, and falling over at least once, I finally made it. MBB wasn’t there yet, so I walked the beautiful, nearly-secluded beach for the rest of the afternoon. I had dinner with MBB, who bought everything, claiming that now it was really his birthday (he said he considered the night before his half-birthday, which I do not understand in the least bit.) Whether it was his birthday or not, I will never know, but I was happy to indulge in the free dinner and drinks. It almost made up for the incessant, nearly obsessive, conversation about his mother and an ex-girlfriend who opened his mind and changed his life…or whatever.
I left the next morning after a nice breakfast, a stroll down the beach, and a quick dip in the ocean. I ran into my weird cop friend on the way back to Stone Town, who recognized me. I didn’t have to show my Jenna Evans IDs, didn’t get any mention about not having a mirror, and the cop didn’t want another smooch with Jenna’s license. I was soon back in Stone Town and getting lost driving through the narrow passageways trying to find Ally Keys’ shop to return my Vespa.
I told them about the mirror incident and, of course, there was no merit to it. I didn’t care. Zanzibar was nearly behind me. I bought a ticket for the overnight ferry back to Dar es Salaam, spent the day wandering around a bit more, and had one last Zanzibar Pizza before heading to the dock. On the ferry, finally one inflated-price resulted in an extra benefit (usually I pay more and get the same as everyone else). Foreigners are only allowed to buy First Class tickets on the ferry. On the way there, it meant nothing; on the way back, though, it meant a nice couch in a dark room, where I slept the whole night through.
Before the ferry left, I had my last little Zanzibar moment. A Muslim woman sat down very near to me; her whole body was covered, including her face. Only her eyes could be seen. I sat and wondered who she was behind there…was she ugly? Beautiful? The women of Zanzibar seem to glide down the street with such grace that it’s hard to imagine any of them to be particularly unattractive. It didn’t really matter, anyway, and I only really thought about it because her face was covered. Had she not had anything over her face, I probably wouldn’t have noticed her at all. I was contemplating this all when she suddenly lifted the veil and placed it behind her head, revealing her face. I felt like I had just witnessed a special, sacred moment with her – the unveiling. And she wasn’t especially attractive, though not unattractive. Just normal…maybe her nose was a little big. I don’t know their particular rules of when and where to cover their face, and I suspect it really differs from person to person, but it was a pretty cool moment to watch her decide that she didn’t need to cover it anymore.
Soon after, before the ferry even got moving, I put my bandana over my eyes, blacking out the little bit of light in the room and went to sleep on my nice comfy couch, happy to find myself back in Dar es Salaam early the next morning.
Tags: Tanzania, Zanzibar, Tag Index
Tania
June 1st, 2007 at 8:54 am
I hope you’re OK. I miss your wonderful blog. Come back to us! We miss you!
Kendall aka Grannygold
June 16th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
I miss it, too. You’re such a good writer!
July 11th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Tania? Are you out there? Should we send a search party? Have you aborted the trip? Sending love,
Kendall
July 11th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
Tania,
I have read your blog since the beginning. Its my favorite travel blog of all the many, many, many I read.
You’ve been silent longer than I ever recall, and I’m getting worried about you.
Check in please and let your fans know you are okay.
July 14th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
HELLO ALL….I AM HAPPY TO REASURE YOU THAT TANIA IS JUST FINE. SHE WILL BE SUBMITTING SOME NEW ENTRIES VERY SOON…THEY SHOULD BE EXCITING..I BELEIVE THEY WILL INCLUDE LOTS OF INFO ON THE GORILLAS IN UGANDA…I MISS HER TOO…THANK YOU.
July 18th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Tania,
So glad you are ok. I have been following
you since you left Aksys. Please stay
safe and please write soon.
August 3rd, 2007 at 11:23 am
Yeah!