Mark’s Vagabonding Blog

If you have traveled in Southeast Asia (SEA), or have done any research into it, you are probably aware of the reputation of Poipet, Cambodia, a border town with Thailand. If not, here’s what Lonely Planet: Cambodia had to say:

“Viva Poipet! Long the armpit of Cambodia, famous for nothing but mud and mess . . . during the wet season the roads become rivers of mud and detritus . . . There is no reason to spend any time here . . . Poipet is also emerging as scam central and many tourists are being ripped off on overland travel . . . Don’t judge Cambodia on your first experiences in Poipet . . . should you for some masochistic reason decide to stay in Poipet . . . (so and so hotel) is a good option if you are unlucky enough to get caught in town for the night.”

And if that’s not enough, here are a few more quotes from Bootsnall members:

“Poipet is a toilet,” Bubbha

“Poipet really is hell,” Static

” . . . poipet is a shit hole…get in, get the hell out,” Gooner

So for any sane person who is aware of this information, and has passed through before himself and seen the truth, and is also not with a volunteer organization that stuck you there, spending 4 days and 3 nights in a row in Poipet…by choice…would be unthinkable. UNTHINKABLE! Like running through an active slaughterhouse naked with your mouth wide open and flippers on your feet. Well, crown me insane, because I’ve just returned from my 4 day, 3 night vacation in sunny Poipet, Cambodia. And I did it by choice.

Why would I do something so masochistic, as Lonely Planet calls it?

Well, my Thai visa expired on Aug 8, so I had to leave Thailand. And I also signed up for the class to get my teaching certificate. The class is in Bangkok and it starts on Aug 14 and ends on Sept 8. Thailand allows you to stay in the country for one month upon arrival, but it’s not a calendar month. For example, if you arrive on Aug 9, you can stay until Sept 7–always 2 days short of your arrival date the following month. So the earliest I could return to Thailand and be able to stay for the duration of the course was Aug 11. So I had to spend 3 days in another country.

Sure I could have gone to Malaysia or Singapore, but that would have been too costly by plane, and too time consuming by land. And I certainly could have gone to a better part of Cambodia for just a little more time and money. So why didn’t I? Why did I choose to swim in the cesspool? Well, I had 3 other choices: Siem Reap; Battambang; or Phnom Penh. I’ve been to all 3 of those cities already, and if I could have snapped my fingers and ended up in either of them, I would have chosen Phnom Penh (At least for the reason that that is the only place I’ve been to that sells my brand of deodorant). But I haven’t attempted that trick since 1992 when I snapped my fingers for Fiji and ended up in the jungles of Guam–boy was that family startled, not to mention their monkey.

Phnom Penh is the farthest away of the 3 cities, and the buses leave from Poipet at 6:00-7:30am, which would mean staying overnight in Poipet anyway. And I’d only get two days in Phnom Penh then have a very long trip back to Bangkok, and would not arrive until late in the evening. It is also a pain in the ass to get to the other two cities, over horrible roads.

So the main advantage of staying in Poipet, was that on the 11th, I could walk out of my guest house at 7:00am, turn right, walk 100 yards and get stamped out of Cambodia. Then walk another 50 yards and get stamped into Thailand, and a few minutes later be sitting on a bus heading to Bangkok, and arrive around noonish. Because I had things to do when I got back. (But I didn’t set my alarm correctly and ended up leaving at 8:30 instead of 7:00. Still okay though.)

The assessments of Lonely Planet and the Bootsnall members are indeed accurate, the place is a cesspool. An ordinary traveler should never choose to stay longer than the few minutes it takes to pass through to their next destination. But if you have some time, an open mind, can stand some filth, and you are not just there to see the ruins, temples, mountains, and museums; if you want to see real life at a bustling Cambodian border town, then I recommend spending a night or two in lively Poipet. It certainly won’t kill you. I think the biggest threat is getting hit by a car or motorcycle. And if you are a photographer there is a great opportunity to enhance your portfolio.

The folks there are good people, just like any you’ll see in Siem Reap or Phnom Penh. They just live in squalor. Not that Siem Reap and Phnom Penh are Beverly Hills or anything. And you will come across the occasional shady character trying to sell you sex or something, but that’s no different than anywhere else in SEA. And there are the rip offs that LP mentioned, but that’s for the onward travel crowd.

There are actually a couple of decent places to stay in Poipet. I stayed at The Poipet Guest House (not mentioned by LP). For 400 baht/night I got a relatively clean, big room, with AC, refrigerator, TV w/cable, including HBO, Cinemax, Star Movies, ESPN, CNN World, and a few other English language channels (and they came in clear), a balcony to watch all the action on the street, and I was supposed to have hot water, but the heater didn’t work. But that’s okay, I’m finally getting used to cool showers. Sometimes they’re nice when you’ve been sweating in the hot, humid air. And there were some stains on my bed too that I didn’t want to think about. But overall, it wasn’t bad.

If you want greater luxury you can stay in one of the casinos for as little as 1000 baht/night. At least at the one I checked out. The casinos were where I chose to eat. When you see the squalor in the streets, the hole in the wall restaurants seem about as appetizing as a happy meal that had been sitting the sun for 16 days . . . after an elephant pooped on it.

My second night there I went to the Poipet Resort Casino for dinner. I asked where the restaurants were and the guy pointed me upstairs. The upstairs people told me they were downstairs. Finally, in the basement, I found a small food court with a buffet. None of the signage was in English (Which has got to tell you something), so I wasn’t sure how it worked. I approached the woman at the desk, and we had trouble communicating. It seems I had to get a coupon upstairs, after joining G Club International, or checking in or something. Eventually she told me to pay her 100 baht and I could go in (I did see something that said, “100 baht”). As I was getting out my 100 baht, a lady came from out of no where and handed me a coupon. The lady at the desk said, “okay,” and directed me toward the buffet. When I went to the buffet to thank the lady for the coupon, she gave me another one and said, “For tomorrow.” So I ended up getting 2 free buffet dinners from the generous stranger. And the food was pretty good too. I had two big plates each time.

One day I was walking down the street, and an SUV stopped next to me. The driver said, “Excuse me?” I turned to see a white American man in the driver’s seat. As I was turning my head he continued, “Are you the doctor?” Then immediately after seeing my face he said, “No you’re not.” Hmmm, if he thought I might have been the doctor, and had to ask, he had probably never seen him before. Why then did he immediately know that I was not the doctor after seeing me more clearly? Do I look like I could not be a doctor? This will haunt me for some time.

Anyway, I am one of the few who discarded all rational thought and went swimming in the cesspool that is Poipet, and I did not drown.

But I did find a new definition for the word “ruthless.”

Ruthless: Pawn shops in casinos.

It’s bad enough for people to open pawn shops near casinos, like in Atlantic City, NJ. But for a casino to operate one on the premises is just wrong! “Aww, was that your last baht . . . Hmmm, that’s a nice shirt.”

You might have noticed above that I snuck in the fact that I signed up for the teaching course. Yep, I finally did it. I’m taking the course with Chichester College. It is an actual college in England, but this is only a branch for the teaching course. So if all goes well, I’ll be spending a lot more time here than I originally planned. At least another year. And my life will change drastically. Also, the course is supposed to be very intensive, so this may be the last post until the class ends. But if I find time maybe I’ll post something.

All better go well, the course costs $1390 US! Plus I had to buy a new wardrobe. In order to get into the class, I had to answer 7 questions:

1) How would you describe yourself?
2) What are your areas of strength?
3) What are your weak areas?
4) What ages would you prefer to teach? Why?
5) What do you usually do in your spare time?
6) Why would you want to teach in Thailand?
7) What is (or are) the professional achievement/s that you are most
proud of?

I hate questions like that. Anyway here was the response of the admissions guy after I sent my answers:

” . . .I don’t think anyone has ever wrote such detailed answers before! It was a pleasure to read.”

Funny, I didn’t think they were detailed enough. Anyway, I thought I’d share my answer to question 5 with you:

5) What do you usually do in your spare time?

Well, the past 9 months has been my spare time. Every minute of it. In fact, if you are doing what you want to do, your entire life is your spare time. To take it even further, as I’m writing this, it’s becoming clear to me that everyone’s entire life, no matter what they are doing, is their spare time. This is the only time we’ve got. And if it is not your time, than who’s time is it? I understand most people would read this question, “What do you usually do when you are not working (for someone else)?” They may respond, “I like to go to the park and read, and go to the movies, and play tennis . . . ” and that may be what the author of the question had in mind. But even if you have an unsatisfying job, you made the decision to use that time–your time–to be at that job. It was time you had to spare in order to make money, and it was your decision to spend that time there. So for me, everything I have ever done in my life, has been done in my spare time. And that’s too many things to list.

What do you think?

Also, I’ve rented an apartment. It’s about a 5-10 minute walk to the school. It’s in a place I’ve stayed several times while in Bangkok, but I’ve never stayed in the apartment suite. I’ve always stayed in the cheap dorm room, which I’ve always had to myself. The daily rental rate for the apartment is 700 baht (approx $18.75). But if you are taking the course, or if you’ve stayed there so often that the lady knows you well, and you rent it monthly, it cost 8000 baht ($214). Plus I have to pay water and electricity. It’s furnished, and includes a bedroom, bathroom (cool water), a living room with a couch, a small tv, a refrigerator, and A/C only in the bedroom. But it has no cooking facilities, not even a microwave. However you can use the office for that, but it’s pretty far from my room.

The TV has HBO, and for two days after I moved in it had ESPN, but that changed to Super Sport, which is not nearly as good. It has no American sports, as far as I can tell. And you know what that means: Soccer, soccer, soccer. Also, HBO, and all movie channels here (all countries I’ve been in so far), show edited movies. The f-word is edited out, as is nudity, and various other things. Anyone who knows me knows that I f#@king hate censorship . . . and love nudity. But what can I do? At least they don’t edit movies in the theaters here. Two things different about going to the theater here are, 1) Before the movie, during the coming attractions and commercials, “Please stand and pay your respect to the King,” shows on the screen, and everyone stands. Then they play a montage of photographs of the king to music that he wrote. 2) Assigned seats.

Anyway, one thing that sucks about not having ESPN anymore is that the New York Mets (my favorite baseball team) are having a pretty good season, so far. And it’s possible they could be playing in October, which means the playoffs and possibly the World Series . . . Oh God I just jinxed them! Possibly in the World Series against the Yankees . . . oh oh, I just jinxed them too. Anyway, ESPN shows the games here. But even if I get a job by then, and move to a new place that has ESPN, it won’t matter, because I’ll be at work when the games are on here in the morning, except on the weekends. So I better not get a job until November. And one more thing. I still can’t get used to seeing Johnny Damon in a Yankees uniform.

Bad news. My camera broke. I can’t use the zoom anymore, so it’s stuck on wide angle. I also can’t zoom pictures I’ve taken to view detail on the screen. I hope I can get it fixed cheaply. Maybe if I get a decent job I’ll buy another, better camera.

Oh, and one other thing about my apartment. It is a part of a resort hotel that is involved, or was once involved with, the sex trade. So my bed is surrounded by mirrors on 3 walls, as well as the ceiling. But you get used to it after a while, and stop walking around naked all time.

An interesting thing about Malaysia is that, unlike most, if not all, other Asian countries, they don’t have their own script. They use our alphabet. The official language of Malaysia is Bahasa Malay, but there are a lot of Chinese living here so you see some Chinese script as well. But most signs are written in Bahasa Malay only, so it is not always easy for tourists who are not familiar with the language. A few important signs are written in English though, like, “Please do not throw trash in the toilet.” However, if you look closely at the words you can easily figure some of them out:

For instance, at the feri in Butterworth you would know how much it cost to cross if you were on a basikal or a motosikal. And if you want to take a bas from Penang to Kuala Lumpur, and you did not want it to make any stops in between, you would take the ekspres. And if you ate some bad food at a restoran and got sick, you could take an ambulans to the klinik. But most words are impossible to decipher without a diksineri.

While walking down a street in a mid-sized town in Maylasia called Taiping–a town that receives very little western tourists–I heard an unmistakably familiar, and surprizing, sound, emanating from one of the shops–a clothing shop I think. The sound stopped me in my tracks, and I laughed. Then I felt a slight ache in my soul, because I miss the sound very much. It was Dennis DeYoung belting out,

” . . . Thank you very much Mister Roboto for doing the jobs nobody wants to! And thank you very much Mister Roboto for helping me escape just when I needed to! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I wanna thank you . . .”

Okay, I know that Mr. Roboto is not one of Styx‘s proudest moments, it’s actually kind of an embarrassment to them and some of their fans (I know at least Tommy Shaw–one of the members of the band–is embarrassed by it). But it’s their earlier stuff that made them one of my favorite bands, as some of you know. The fact that it was Mr. Roboto is what made me laugh. If it was Come Sail Away piping from the shop’s speakers I wouldn’t have laughed, but I still would have stopped, been equally surprized, and felt the ache.

In some of the more developed countries in Southeast Asia you hear more western music, especially in Singapore. But in Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia, 99% of the music you hear is local. And it all sounds pretty much the same. Thai pop-rock has a simailar sound to ours, but with Thai lyrics of course. So that is somewhat listenable. Otherwise, the karaoke type music eminent in this region is all the same. And it’s horrible! (Sorry June if you are reading this, I know you like it, but I also know I’m not the only farang who feels that way. But I do like when you sing it at karaoke).

Actually, while in Singapore I splurged and went to a concert at the fancy concert hall there, The Esplanade. I saw the world renowned jazz drummer Billy Cobham with his current band, Billy Cobham’s Culture Mix. I have a couple of cd’s by The Mahavishnu Orchestra, a jazz fusion group from the 70’s where Cobham displays his phenomenal talent on the skins. I didn’t expect the music to be anything like Mahavishnu, and it wasn’t. But it was still cool to see, and hear, some good live music.

Anyway, I digress, it wasn’t as much that it was Styx I heard coming from the shop, as it was a reminder of music that I haven’t heard much of in a long time, and that I miss my music. Before I left America my sister recommended I get an Ipod or the like, so I could listen to my music while I travel. But I thought it would just be one more thing to worry about losing, so I didn’t bring one. Now I wish I took her advice. (Or is it, “Now I wish I had taken her advice?” If I’m going to teach English I better learn this stuff.).

From my seat in the middle of the minivan, a sense of hope swept over me as we crossed the border from Thailand into Malaysia. I’d heard so many great things about Malaysia, and immediately upon entering the country I was struck by the distinct difference between Malaysia, and where I’d previously been (Thailand, Loas and Cambodia specifically). Although the ride through southern Thailand was also quite nice.

The highway infrastructure in Malaysia is first class. If it wasn’t (or weren’t? . . . hmmm) for the language on the signs I would have thought I was in America. Nice, wide, smooth roads, a well manicured landscape, and even call boxes and food and fuel rest stops reminded me of the highways back home. As did the tollbooths . . . and they even had speed pass. Here the highways may even be nicer, because they are probably newer. And the scenery along most of the route is breathtaking. I couldn’t wait to get to my destination: Georgetown, on the popular island of penang.

Our minivan crossed into Penang on the feri from Butterworth. The Georgetown skyline looked welcoming as we floated toward the pier. There was one other westerner on the minvan, and he sat next to me, an older chap from Switzerland. He had been to Penang before so he told me where all the cheaper hotels were. That’s where he was going so I got off with him on a road called Chulia. He pointed around where I could go then he went on his way. Immediately, the hope that filled me earlier was infiltrated by disappointment and dispair. I was surrounded by interminably run down and grotty old buildings. And the ones that said “Hotel” on them wouldn’t even beckon a junky and his two-bit crack ho to step inside. How can this be? Did this country spend all of its money on its highways?

Not to be defeated, I walked with my–increasingly heavier–backpackpacks in search of suitable accomodations. This was a popular tourist spot so there had to be a nicer area. My long walk brought me all the way back to where I started, but I did see some better looking places nearby on the main road. So I went into one place and asked to see the room. From the outside this place looked considerably better then the flophouses I saw on Chulia. But the room itself was depressingly grotty (my new favourite word). It was small, and in dire need of a paint job, among other things. There was no way I would pay 60 Ringgit (RM60, approx. $16.67) for that room, so I declined. Before I went to that place I had passed a more upscale looking hotel, Hotel Continental, which cost RM80 ($22.23). My shoulders felt like they had been lugging around 4 two-bit crack hos, so I just went directly to the Hotel Continental and checked in.

This room was much better. But the AC was central air, uncontrollable from the room, and the air entered from a vent in the wall. And you know from watching movies that not only air travels through vents, but also sound. A hard of hearing guest in a nearby room left his TV on late into the night. I was going to stand on a chair and scream into the vent, but that only would have riled me up, and I never would have slept. So I just laid there with pillows covering my ears. It didn’t work.

The next day I went on another quest to find a cheaper place, not because of the noise–I finally did sleep–but because of the price. I found a room for RM35 ($9.72) at a place called 75 Travellers Lodge. It was a very basic small room with a cold shower directly above the toilet, so you could take a dump and have a shower at the same time. They did not supply a towel, TP, or even a blanket. But there was a sheet on the bed and the room was relatively clean. It had a concrete floor. Oh, and it had an air conditioner too, a window unit. Luckily, June gave me a large all purpose cloth that I was able to use as a blanket. And I have my own TP.

That evening on my way back to the Lodge, I was going to stop in a nearby bakery. But in the gutter, about 20 yards from the bakery, I saw 6 rats huddled over some garbage. I turned around and went back to the lodge. That’s another thing about this place. The sidewalks and gutters here are breeding grounds for rats. The gutters are large crevices filled with garbage and water. And you better watch your step.

It rained most of the time I was in Georgetown, so I spent most of my time at the mall.

A couple of days later I went to another part of the island called Batu Ferringhi. That’s where the beach is. The beach was okay, nothing special, but again it rained most of the time I was there, and rained hard. And there was no mall. But I’d say the area was a step up from Georgetown. The really nice beaches and islands are supposed to be on the east coast of Pennisular Malaysia, and I am planning on visiting them eventually.

Now though, I’m slowly working my way down to Kuala Lumpur, the capital, and the major city in Malaysia. I’m actually looking forward to going.

My first stop after Penang Island was, as previously mentioned, Taiping. Taiping was much, much nicer than Georgetown as far as cleanliness goes, but it still suffers from some grottiness, as I’ve learned most Southeast Asian towns do (Somebody give these people some paint). And I saw a number of rats there as well. (Incidentally, I just finished reading the book Rats, by Robert Sullivan.) However there is a gorgeous lake garden park in Taiping as well as a zoo and night safari. I didn’t make it to the zoo or night safari. I woke up to late for the zoo. It’s best to go early when the animals are out while it’s still relatively cool. I woke up too late because I was up all night watching CNBC (the financial channel) on cable. It was market hours in the US. I stayed at a decent place again, hence cable TV, but curiously the toilet didn’t flush properly, so they left a bucket for flushing. But I went to the beautiful park, which is where I wrote a good portion of this post in my notebook. The park alone is worth a visit, and I’d imagine the zoo as well.  As I mentioned, Taiping does not receive many foreign travelers. I think I saw one, maybe two other westerners. I’m not sure though, it might have been the same guy twice, we all look alike. We were both in Pizza Hut at the same time. Seeing only 1 or 2 westerners in two days is not the only reason I know they don’t get a lot of foreign travelers. I also know because I got a lot of looks, even people yelling to me in their cars. But some people didn’t give a shit.

I’m in The Cameron Highlands now. I just got here so I don’t have much to say about it yet, but the ride up here was magnificent. I’m staying in a place with shared bathrooms. My room is just a cube with a bed, and some bugs. It cost RM20 ($5.56), the cheapest place I’ve stayed in Malaysia so far. Accomodations here are pretty expensive compared to the rest of Southeast Asia, except for Singapore. In Singapore I had to stay in my first dorm rooms. It was an experience and I should have written about it, but that was during my lazy period of writing. Maybe I’ll write about it later. But I didn’t take any notes.

Okay, I owe this internet place a butt load of money, so I better end now and get out of here. It takes a long time for me to write these things. And besides, I probably lost a lot of readers along he way. If you are still with me, here’s a bit of information. The word dictionary in Bahasa Malay is kamus, not diksineri, I just couldn’t resist. I really did hope it was spelled something like that though. Now those who abandoned this post some time after reading that will go through life thinking Malays spell dictionary, diksineri. Now aren’t you glad you stuck around?