The Young Man Odyssey

Alright, so my 10 day meditation didn’t work out, but before you judge, read on…

I had gotten the scavenger list worth of things to bring to the monastery, and arrived at 8 am with 11 white roses. They dressed me all in white, and gave me a room the likes of quality I have not seen thus far, and it did not cost me a penny. I went to lunch at 10:30, the last meal of the day (no dinner for buddhists). The tables were about a foot off the ground, and I sat on the floor.

I logged a good 2 hours of meditation. And through the course of my last one, I realized all the problems I was having on my trip would be alleviated with a few good friends back home, and my isolation increased, the meditation actually did not help, just made the remedy for all my troubles is 6000 miles away.

And thus I cried. I wept the first tears of my voyage, for my loved ones and friends back home. I realized that I wasn’t going to make it 10 days let alone three, and I requested permission to leave the same day I had arrived. The good monk granted me my wish.

The taxi ride back into the city was horrible. I was fighting more tears as we crossed over the moat. I walked through the travellers center and spoke to a guy named Ben from Australia, and the thing that I had been lacking, the reason for my crying, had been loneliness, and so, the city was the perfect antidote.

I was upset with not fulfilling my retreat as I had planned, but I had gotten a taste and instruction on how to meditate. I am not done meditating, as I think it will help me on this trip a lot, however, being at the monastery was sending me into deep isolation, and that is very much what I do not need. Once I got back in the city I felt much better. I thank the monk for his good wishes and his hospitality, and much more for his understanding.

So I continue on, to Pai tomorrow. A small town of 3000, set among giant mountains. It is the place I have been aching to go since I arrived, many travellers and my former teacher instructed me this is the place to go. I got a good cry out of the meditation, but the sadness has past. I look forward to my further ventures and realize that 1 day of meditating was exactly what I needed.

Yes, it was sad not to fulfill my commitment, however I chose a route that was most suitable to my immediate needs. Emotion is fragile on this solo venture, and I must take good care of the good spirits I have. I have been given great tools for the mind in just one day, and for a good many hours I was depressed about leaving quite early. But now I see that it is what had to be done, and I move on.

This entry was posted on Friday, November 10th, 2006 at 8:11 am and is filed under Thailand, Laos, Vietnam 2006. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.