Dharma bums

Before anyone gets excited, I’m well aware that the entries in our blog are not necessarily in chronological order.

We returned to Bangkok the morning of Jan. 19 and once again we stayed at Swathe Guest House, having made our reservation prior to our departure for Phnom Penh. We hadn’t been there an hour when a cab pulled up and deposited none other than our friend Doug. After he checked into the Shanti Lodge we began to get caught up with his activities during our absence.

I mentioned in a previous posting that Doug had his own agenda for his trip to Thailand. The reality is that Doug came to meet a potential bride. It seems that a Thai woman who works in the grocery store where Doug shops in Oakland had arranged for him to meet her sister who lives in Bangkok. When we arrived at the Bangkok airport the first time she was there to meet him. She does not speak English, he does not speak Thai, a situation that presents an obstacle to communication.

Doug related to us that he arranged for someone to interpret for them the day after we left for Cambodia. Apparently this gentleman had the pleasure of relaying to Doug’s fiancé, as he referred to her, that Doug wanted to “try her out” before he would consider marriage. She didn’t seem particularly impressed with Doug’s romantic approach. The wedding was off!

Doug decided not to hang around Bangkok any longer, he took a trip south to a beach on the Gulf of Thailand. He spent the next week frolicking in the sand, working on his sun tan, consuming his favorite strong drink and hitting on every woman in sight. Even though he had a fabulous time there, he had nothing good to say about Thailand. He was more than ready to leave, which was our agenda for the following day.

The morning of Jan. 20 we arrived at the airport around 9:45 for a flight that was scheduled to leave at 12:45. We spent part of that time arranging to upgrade our tickets from economy to business class for the leg from Bangkok to Taipei, unfortunately that option wasn’t available for the longer leg of our flight. Don and Norm needed to find an ATM in order to come up with the 500 Baht departure tax. While the other bums were doing that, Doug and I got in line to have our passports checked. I went first, at the wall opposite the passport check area there was one obvious exit into the terminal. I waited on the other side of the door for Doug … he never came.

I proceeded through security to the departure gate where I found Don and Norm. Eventually Doug showed up. Evidently his built-in fried chicken radar had led him to a KFC.

While we were waiting in the airport, Doug zoned in on the Blond Bombshell (from hereon I will refer to her as Blondie), she probably could have been a Playmate 15 years ago. Blondie kind of hung out with us until we boarded the plane. When we landed in Taipei Blondie hauled Doug off to find a smoking room, they returned reeking of cigarette smoke and drinking beer. They proceeded to share several more cans of beer right up until we boarded the plane for San Francisco.

I can’t tell much of what happened during the flight due to the combination of our seating being spread out and the fact that Norm provided me with an Ambien tablet that was quite effective.

When we arrived in SF, Doug skedaddled out of the airport via BART as soon as he could but not before he took his parting shot to Blondie.

“It’s your last chance” were his parting words. Enlightened or not, some things never change.

Dharma Bernie

Our second day in Bangkok we were frequently accompanied by Doug. He
came with us when we went for our rice porridge but he wouldn’t eat
any, he rounded up a beer instead. After breakfast Norm, Don and I
went back to the barbershop for our morning shave. Doug had no
interest in coming with us; he didn’t want someone else shaving him.

Later that morning, while Don and I went to the electronics market, while
Norm took Doug on a little shopping trip. Doug’s shopping
list included but was not limited to baby powder and toilet paper.
Apparently, while the Dharma bums were getting their shave, Doug had
attempted to shave himself. He obviously found the cold water shave
experience lacking, Norm found him more easily persuaded to partake
in a professional shave on the way to the department store.

We didn’t hang-out with Doug the entire day; he had his own agenda
for his trip to Thailand. But we were staying in the same guest
house so avoiding him wasn’t possible. We actually ended up
spending a rather quiet and restful afternoon and evening having
dinner and beer at the Shanti Lodge. We said farewell to Joy
a woman we met on our flight from San Francisco. She was on her way
to Ko Tao, an island in the Gulf of Thailand. This was the beginning
of three months of travel for her through Thailand, India, Egypt and
on to Europe. We also said our good byes to Doug that evening
because we were taking a cab to the airport at 4:30 the following
morning to fly to Phnom Penh. It was the last we would see of Doug
for the next nine days.

Stay tuned for further enlightenment. Dharma Bernie