The little green men: Tashkent, Uzbekistan

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<li class="cat-item cat-item-4595"><a href="https://blogs.bootsnall.com/Danny-in-Asia/category/capitals-tour-of-asia/japan-on-the-cheap" title="How to travel in notoriously high-priced Japan by living like a bum!">Japan on the cheap</a> (14)
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    [4] => <li class="cat-item cat-item-4588"><a href="https://blogs.bootsnall.com/Danny-in-Asia/category/chinahong-kongmacau" title="Entries from my February/March, 2006 trip.">China</a> (16) </li>
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    [10] => <li class="cat-item cat-item-4598"><a href="https://blogs.bootsnall.com/Danny-in-Asia/category/eurasia-marco-polo-in-it/kazakhstan" >Kazakhstan</a> (3) </li>
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    [13] => <li class="cat-item cat-item-2984"><a href="https://blogs.bootsnall.com/Danny-in-Asia/category/chinahong-kongmacau/macau" title="A quick stop for a Visa and food, March 5, 2006.">Macau</a> (1) </li>
    [14] => <li class="cat-item cat-item-278"><a href="https://blogs.bootsnall.com/Danny-in-Asia/category/eurasia-marco-polo-in-it/mongolia" >Mongolia</a> (24) </li>
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    [17] => <li class="cat-item cat-item-2718"><a href="https://blogs.bootsnall.com/Danny-in-Asia/category/eurasia-marco-polo-in-it/shanghai" >Shanghai</a> (8) </li>
    [18] => <li class="cat-item cat-item-2256"><a href="https://blogs.bootsnall.com/Danny-in-Asia/category/eurasia-marco-polo-in-it/sweden" >Sweden</a> (2) </li>
    [19] => <li class="cat-item cat-item-4589"><a href="https://blogs.bootsnall.com/Danny-in-Asia/category/teaching-english" title="Thoughts and reflections about my time teaching in Japan.">Teaching English</a> (10) </li>
    [20] => <li class="cat-item cat-item-4587"><a href="https://blogs.bootsnall.com/Danny-in-Asia/category/thailandcambodia" title="Entries from my February, 2006 trip.">Thailand</a> (12) </li>
    [21] => <li class="cat-item cat-item-4590"><a href="https://blogs.bootsnall.com/Danny-in-Asia/category/trip-preparationdeparture" >Trip preparation/departure</a> (5) </li>
    [22] => <li class="cat-item cat-item-3401"><a href="https://blogs.bootsnall.com/Danny-in-Asia/category/eurasia-marco-polo-in-it/uzbekistan" >Uzbekistan</a> (10) </li>
)

Beijing (14)

Brooding in Japan (6)

Cambodia (3)

Capitals tour of Asia (24)

China (16)

Eurasia: Marco Polo-in' it (88)

Hong Kong (4)

Iceland (11)

Japan (33)

Japan on the cheap (14)

Kazakhstan (3)

Korea (10)

Kyrgyzstan (9)

Macau (1)

Mongolia (24)

Nanjing/Suzhou (3)

Poland (4)

Shanghai (8)

Sweden (2)

Teaching English (10)

Thailand (12)

Trip preparation/departure (5)

Uzbekistan (10)

Uzbekistan is a police state. Men in green uniforms are everywhere and in the capital Tashkent they should be avoided. For me my long hair is easy to spot; strike one. My big boots are far too hot so they can see I’ve walked a long way to get here; strike two. I also have a beard which everyone knows are only grown by terrorists or tourists so either way they win by stopping me; strike three. I don’t know if I’m just lucky or actually have a good strategy for dealing with these guys, but in my six encounters in three days I’ve neither been searched or asked for money. This is usually how it goes:

They see me. Sure they all see me but you know when they’re going to stop you when their stare locks in. I act like I don’t see them. I’m just a dumb tourist. If they follow me I wait until just before the shoulder tap comes and make my turn. If they’re ahead of me I make sure that they don’t approach me, I approach them. Never be hunted.

“Strassveetyeh” I say with a firm handshake. “Kak dela? (How are you?)” As I’m shaking hands with my right hand I’m taking out my gun…er…passport with my left. “This is my passport, visa and registration.” Don’t let them ask you for shit. Without their questions they’ve no element of surprise or catching you offguard. After a breif look at my documents they usually smile and ask me if I like Uzbekistan. That’s right fucker. I’ve won and they play off the exchange with routine pleasantries.

On two other instances the guys are more persistent and won’t accept defeat. They wave at me to follow them, my passport in hand. This is where I get loud and smiley. The first time there are people around and a metro camera so I try to make a scene. “This is my passport, visa and registration. I’m a tourist! UZBEKISTAN IS GREAT!” The first guy gives up and hands me back my passport. The second guy has me stopped on a quiet street and is feeling bold. “THIS IS MY PASSPORT, VISA AND REGISTRATION! NO PROBLEM!” I’m quite loud now and a man comes out of the building and starts shouting at the officer which I suspect translates to “give this guy a break” or “stop being such a dick.” The young officer is embarrassed now and he smiles his gold capped grin contemplating whether to forfeit. I grab my passport and give him one last “no problem” as I turn and walk away, not bothering to let him make up his mind and never looking back to see if my bold move changes his mood. Danny 6, asshole police 0.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 20th, 2007 at 9:42 am and is filed under Eurasia: Marco Polo-in' it, Uzbekistan. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

-1 responses to “The little green men: Tashkent, Uzbekistan”

Mouse says:

June 20, 2007 at 1:25 pm

You should write the manual on “driving offensively” for tourists..Is there such a term?

I appreciate your keen intellect.

Peace,
M

Danny in Asia

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The little green men: Tashkent, Uzbekistan

-1 responses to “The little green men: Tashkent, Uzbekistan”

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