So the other day, we were helping with a command post exercise, and there was a Saudi kid who was attracting a bit of attention from his compadres outside. Someone came in and said, "He's got poisonous snakes in his pocket!" Intrigued, I went outside to see this supposed fellow carrying around snakes...sure enough, he pulled out a plastic shopping bag with a ball of entwined snakes (species indeterminate), and two small vipers.

Now, I just have to ask...What kind of guy carries around ANY kind of snakes in his pocket, much less POISONOUS ones?!? I mean, that's just not right! Not even Steve Irwin or Jeff Corwin or any of those other guys do that! Sure, they'll pick them up by their tails and say stuff like, "Ohhh, SHE's a BEAUTY!! LOOK at the FANGS on her! If she bites me, I'll be in BIIIG trouble!" But, then, they let them go their way off into the bushes...Not this guy. He showed me his hand where he'd been bitten before. "Huna, huna, huna, huna, huna..." or, for our English speaking friends, "Here, here, here, here, here...."

Wow. You meet all types out there.

Apparently, this guy once had his car stolen...but when the thieves found the 20 or so deadly snakes in and around the front seats, they decided to un-steal it. Can you imagine what they must have felt like? I picture it going something like this...

"OK, Achmed, make sure you put your seatbelt on..."

"Hey Mustafa! That seatbelt just bit me!"

"THAT'S NOT A SEATBELT!!!!"

"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"

**Flashback warning....**

This episode also reminds me of a story involving one of our good friends, Ed the Vet. I first met Ed in Egypt, ten years ago. Having both gone to schools in the south, and both being of Italian extraction, we had a lot in common, and became good friends.

One day, someone came in and informed Ed of a small sand viper in the telephone booths. So, he and I went over to check it out. Seeing as you generally don't want poisonous snakes in phone booths (not sure why he was there...snakes don't have ears to hear or fingers to dial), or slithering around a camp full of guys who have been told repeatedly "Don't mess with Jake the Snake" (which ensures that they will do just that...), Ed decided that we needed to dispatch it. So, working together, I pinned his head down with a broom, and Ed shot a syringe full of bleach into his brain.

Well, Jake didn't like that one bit, and he writhed around for a few seconds before becoming an ex-snake. Ed then scooped him up, and put him in a bag to take with him back to his office up north.

The next day, Ed hit upon a great way to use the snake. Dave (not me) the Preventive Medicine guy was perpetually grouchy guy who generally was a jerk to nearly everyone he encountered. However, his life had fallen into a routine. Every day after lunch, he would storm into his office, and fling out his chair from under his desk so he could sit and read the paper. This routine was to be his undoing...

While Dave was at lunch, Ed took the snake and coiled him up on Dave's desk. He tied one end of a strand of fishing line to the snake's neck, and the other end to the arm of Dave's chair. Then, he pushed the chair back under the desk, and draped the newspaper on top of it.

And then, Ed waited.

Sure enough, the routine actions of chair flinging soon resulted in Dave's screams of sheer terror when a 2.5 foot sand viper came shooting out at him from under his newspaper. He promptly soiled himself and left the room. He didn't come back for a couple of days...

Ahh...fun with snakes! They're not just for pockets anymore!