As Ant has mentioned, we had some "issues" with our guesthouse, the H.K. Choudary Paying Guest House. Ant just called them the H.K. Chowderheads, but whatever, Let's Go was wrong in recommending them, they BLOW.

We reserved a room weeks in advance. Not one, but 2+ weeks. You'd think that would be enough time for these jokers to get their shit together, but no. We arrive and they give us a song and dance that they're all full up because two guys missed their train and came back.

LIKE I CARE.

The manager, Mr. Das, explained he had to give them our room. We checked out the other hotel, laughed at the price, and I went back to H.K. I was tired and had had enough. After saying that it was a mistake and these things happen he asked why we minded, it was only one night.

With that I lost it, and he kept trying to interrupt me. "But madam... Cheap tomorrow see no problem... Boss-madam, understand..."

"SHUT THE HELL UP AND QUIT INTERRUPTING ME!" seemed to work. So did, "This dump was recommended to me by my Let's Go guide book. Three other travelers who have been here said it was a shithole and that we should go elsewhere. It is a shithole and I should have listened to them. Now, should I email Let's Go and mention your antics, along with the names of the other travelers who agreed??"

Ok, that last part was bullshit (I hadn't met anyone who had been there) but he didn't know that. The threat of writing a scathing email to Let's Go seemed to be a trump card. Suddenly, "Madam, work with me. Give me five minutes, I pick you up in a taxi, we find new hotel for 550 rupees."

At this point, what did we have to lose? The only person with something to lose was Mr. Das: in a throw down, his cajones would be toast. So we went. And we slept, and we had HOT WATER. Mmmmmm.

Taken to the cleaners:

Right, so now, this laundry thing. We drop off Ant's laundry. Most civilized hotels (even the $3/night ones) take a day, TOPS, for laundry. These jokers said 2 days!! What are they doing?? Wearing the clothes out for a night first? What the FUNK!!! Mr. Das could tell he was trying my patience again but was afraid I might kick his ass in front of his colleagues so he scurried around attempting to find Ant's undies. Who knows, maybe they will show up. We'll see what happens after we mention that we'll file a police report if they aren't there tomorrow.

The ONLY good thing about this dump, was the older gentleman (probably big "H.K." himself) who called to confirm my movie times for me and how to get to the cinema. (We saw Matrix Revolutions, which also sucked and gets two spoons down according to Ant.)

Tonight I sleep in a roof shack with a poster of a toilet over the bed for 200 rupees. But that's ok, because I think I am going to get my 200 rupees worth of fun out of fucking with Mr. Das, who gets two spoons up... his ASS.