Dublin to Morocco

London is larger than I thought it was.  For some reason I was thinking Chicago was more populated, London has seven million people in the city “proper”.   I’m sure it has over seven million cameras also.   Cameras everywhere.   I’d like to pick my nose in my own pravacy for fucks sake…..not that big brother really cares about my gnarley boogers..it’s the whole concept of it all.  By the way Chicago is the second most watched city in the world next to London.   The average person is filmed over two hundred-fifty times a day in Chicago.   Laura was in the ladies bathroom in a regular fish and chips bar and there was a camera in the sink area of the bathroom…..  what?  Whats next..?  oh yeah,  human rfid’s, national identification cards you have to use just to by a loaf of fucking bread? fema camps?…   ahem..  don’t mean to be preachy, but I don’t really feel I am….no actually…this is a sermon..take a pue sinner…the collection bin is being passed around, I need a new speedboat bitch!!.  The “founders” of this country supposedly had the same attitude towards England as I believe I do towards this regime , but the difference is that I’m not a Freemason……wake up.   But one must be cautious  ” One false deduction about the machine, and you can get hung up  indefinately”- Pirsig.

 Been reading Robert M. Pirsig’s “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”.  Great book.    Slow page turner.  I’ve been taking the last couple of days sitting in two cafes down the street reading, writing, just people watching, soaking shit up.  Thinking. Hard. 

Gay Pride.  Wasn’t as homogenous as Chicago’s pride.  It seemed to be about 50/50 of gay and straight people just out to have a good time.  As in gay I mean..obviously..I guess.  There were different types of people among both.  It wasn’t just bears, twinks, gym bunnies, and  “Will and Grace” gays.  It was in the neighborhood of Soho.  The main street was Compton. Halarious.  Dr. Dre was no where to be seen.  I’m sure he would have enjoyed himself…I know Eazy E would have.  Had some drinks, talked a bit.  It was an overall good time.   There was a group of obviously bored people marching up and down the street with a shitty boombox blasting Michael Jackson songs.  They all were dancing and singing along.  “anyone have any tomatoes?”   or better yet  a giant bowling ball…..strike!!    Dumbasses.  But I don’t judge…yes I do, but I don’t make it count.

Alex, our host, was probably the nicest easy going person I’ve ever met.  I told him to wait till he gets fucked over a couple times and that all will simmer down a bit….he agreed and did cheers to that over some cider.  We all went out to some delicious Indian food…CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA BABY!!!!! YEAH!!!   love it.   After that we stopped by Alex’s sisters house and had a chat.  “Fancied” a beer afterward at a pub down the street.  Cider is the thing to drink here (alcoholic)but I personally like the cider back in the states better. It’s more appley. 

Checked out the Tate Modern which is an art gallery of mainly abstract art.  At first I was unimpressed but abstract art you have to look more into the time it was made and why it was made more than what is it?  Or maybe the former two equals the what is it.  One of the exhibits consited of a film of a naked mad with a mask on his face that resembled “Chunk” off the goonies: he was jumping up and down over and over again making weird handicap noises while his member flapped all about.  Disturbing….but made me chuckle a bit. 

Left Alex’s house and checked into a hostel.  It’s nice to have free housing and all but it comes to a point where you feel you are intruding and start looking into  things too much which might or might not really exist in mannerisms and such…etc.   It’s nice to meet new people also. 

Went out on my own the next day.  Read. Roamed around.  Had some fish and chips.  Huge peice of Cod, good stuff.   Got rained and hailed on but it was actually fun.  People were running around laughing and…I don’t know…it was just a good time.  The real England whether was now showing its face.   For some reason I’ve always had this animosity towards the English….obviously not to there faces…but it is more like an agitation.   I think it was the accent.  I’ve always seen it as haughty and snobbish.  Of course I was being ignorant.  I’ve heard many stories also about how rude Londoners were but I’ve not met one rude person here yet.  at all.  Our hostel is in a Lebonese part of town.  Lots  of sheesh smokin places, but we’re gonna wait till Morocco for that. 

Was sitting in our room talking to Rachel, nice chick, spunky, very spunky.  She was a kindergarten teacher…makes sense.  She gave me a lecture on my use of the word “retard”.  She said it is the same as people using “gay” to describe something in a negative way.  I agreed to a point.  It is the rational behind the words that will keep existing, not the word itself.  It is the suppression of a word that gives it its dangerousness.  It’s not like I would go up to a handicap and say ” hey retard, how’s life today, you know, being retarded and all”….no.   I asked her if she used the word “bitch”.   “Yes” ,   “Well don’t you think that word demeans women?  It is comparing you to a female dog?”  ” well you have a point”….  of course I do…I have two points….I’m the devil.  I like her though…..deep down I really don’t think I should say “retard”.  Two dudes walked in.  Twins, not identical.  The older one (by like 3 minutes or some shit) was a lisping bitch.  He barged in everywhere, with his annoying ass voice, declaring all sound to be drowned out by his bitchiness.  He sat down on the floor, took of his crusty ass sock,and as he was talking, started picking his toes.  He reminded me of a huge toddler like the one in “Honey I Blew Up the Kid”.  Just tromping down everything with his big old rattle, not giving a shit who he steps on just as long as he gets his Gerber.  He tried to talk in an intellectual tone and he would close his eyes everytime he said something HE thought was worth hearing out his shit hole we call a mouth.  He seemed kinda cold as well.  The type of person that believes reason is the only thing that exists in this world. “If I can’t touch and feel it then it must not exist”.  I wanted to spank him and put him to sleep with his “bah bah” and let him stew for a bit in his shitty diaper.   Fucker.  I could tolerate him but I just didn’t want to waste my time with it.  I pegged him as an Aries, and of course he was an Aries.   Aries are known as the babies of the zodiac.  The first born.  I’m well aware there is more involved than just a sun sign of someones zodiac make up…so..  I take it with a grain of salt.  I like Aries, actually I’m usually surrounded by Arians, they’re a pretty sexy lot, but this bastard needed to be silenced. 

Scorpios are known for being highly critical fucks. Hence…..

“The cause of our current social crises, he would have said, is a genetic defect within the nature of reason itself.  And until this genetic defect is cleared, the crises will continue.  Our current modes of rationality are not moving society forward into a better world.  They are taking it further and further from that better world.  Since the Renaissance these modes have worked.  As long as the need for food, clothing and shelter is dominant they will continue to work.  But now that for huge masses of people these needs no longer overwhelm everything else, the whole structure of reason, handed down to us from ancient times, is no longer adequate.  It begins to be seen for what it really is- emotionally hollow, esthetically meaningless and spiritually empty.  That, today, is where it is at, and will continue to be at for a long time to come.”– Robert Pirsig.

Stopped off at an exhibit about persons who were on or still on death row who had unfair trials or beaten into a false confession by crooked cops.  It made me wonder how many people were in prison for something they did not do.  Wrong place wrong time, wrong color right time, right color wrong time.  There were even accounts of family members of those murdered who were setting up shop against the system.  That seems like  lot to swallow for them…brave. 

Was about to hit the hay when upon arriving to my door two Austrian guys were swigging down a fifth of Jeam Beam in the hall.  “Ahhhh.  Whiskey”   I swigged. I really didn’t want to go to bed so it was a good thing.  Laura walked by and into the room ” good night”.     “Is that your girlfriend?”…”no, I’m gay”..  that is how I handle it now.  POW!  Right in your face!….  anyway.  They both nodded and asked me to accompany them to the park to drink some more.   We stopped off at a mini mart, Lebonese owned.  “you have any beer here?”   The cashier gave us a look of disgust as if he were fantasizing of choppin our heads off with his machete.  “no more sale, too late”.   One of the other workers piped in “come on, they’re young, I’ll get some out the back”…..”follow him”.   As we did.   He took us to the back of the store speaking quietly and talking all sneakley as if we were doing a heroin deal.  We all looked at eachother and started laughing under our breathe.  Went down to the park, talked about music, the fakeness of travel talk, chew, back home.   One of the guys kept bringing up of course the subject of homos.  That is what they say here for the word gay.  Homo.  Fagget in Austria was some sort of instrument….ha..   fag in london was a cigarette, of course, who didn’t know that?   After drinking some more, one of them just couldn’t let it go..the other one was just standing there in silence……just kept wanting to talk about me being gay and how they both thought I was “brave” for saying it right away.  The more drunk they got, the worse they spoke English, well at least they thought so.   “We don’t really like it….gay”….huh?    and  “I’m not homo, kinda”…….  what?   So is he saying they’re in the closet?  Were they planning on something happening in the park?  I mean….I would have obliged….but  it got kinda weird.  I showed them my missing knuckle from the last fight I was in a while back to break the subject.  They said they would explain themselves better tomorrow.  The quiet guy kinda just left and started walking….what the hell was going on?  The other guy and I stayed back and seeing how the quiet guy was pretty shitty drunk I dind’t think he should be crossing any streets by himself…so we followed.   I was fairly drunk  or “pissed” but not the the point that they were.   All stumbling and puking and shit.  ok.  time for bed.  ate a samosa and a chicken spring role.  Nice guys, just a weird encounter….but that is what I love about life.  

Got up the next day….met a girl from Toronto, Ashley.  We clicked on many different levels.  Mainly our studies into “conspiracy theories”…..i hate that term  but for now that is what I use to describe.   We talked about the Sumerians, ufo’s, Illuminati, Knights Templar, Metaphysics, and both of our fucked up pasts.   Went to the Camden Markets, got some food. Try to go to the Zoo but it had been 18.50 pounds….thats like $30 to see some bare baboon ass.  Not worth it.  Buckingham Palace. Had a chat with the guards…not the fluffy hat ones, but the handcuffs and pistol ones…sexy.   Talked some more.    It was cold and late.  Went back to the hostel.  I was tired and felt irritated..needed sleep.  Stared at a map of the world on the wall and talked about all the places we didn’t even know existed.  It’s a big fucking world.  Russia is scary.  Something about Russia turns me into a big pussy. 

Gonna see Bruno possibly today.  Should be good.  Get a drink…..finally posted pics up…check em out, on facebook.  Most of the pictures of actuall buildings and statues are on Laura’s page, so check those out as well.   Oh yeah.  I’m extending my stay another 2 weeks and visiting Spain by myself.  Madrid, Barcelona, maybe Seville.  hmm.   So another month or so to go.  Great.  

” You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in.  No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow.  The know it’s going to rise tomorrow.  When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it’s always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt”

out like a pig snout! 

Left off in Wroclaw.  Ate a pound of gummy candy and felt like shit.  Gay Bar.  So Laura and I decided to head out into the Wroclaw night looking for this one gay bar I looked up on line called “Pink Inside”.  Raunchy, I know.  It was supposed to be a gay and lesbian bar…but Pink Inside sounded more lesbian than gay…Laura came to the solution that the gay bar would have been called “Brown Inside”.  makes sense.  After about 30 minutes of looking for this bar we decided to call it quits, it didn’t exist, we found this out later.

On our way to walking to another club we passed up an old lady-man-thing trying to light a cigarette..”you need a match?”  She grabs the matches and as soon as she turns toward us a little we notice that the cigarette is made of metal and inside of the cigarette was not tabacco, but..yes… crack.  hmmm. “my god, it’s a fucking crackpipe” I kinda smiled sheepishly as my eyes darted around the street corners looking for police presence. We stood there and waited while she smoked her shit.  The last thing I wanted was to be arrested in Wroclaw, Poland for smoking crack on the corner at 12 am in the morning with some burnt out gnome looking lady. Laura was hesitant about taking the matches back, but she did.  But we love to help people….choose your poison.   Anyway, so off to another club called Scena but it wasn’t Scena anymore but it still was pretty flamin.  It was kinda hidden, which I think was a good idea, since a street entrance/exit would probably have caused trouble for the clientèle..ie: beatdowns.

Poland is about 12 years or so behind in the music arena.  After watching everyone go nuts to “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls, I came to a realization that I was in the ninth realm of Hell.  All that was missing was Satan in a thong flicking his wrist and doing a dance to “La Vida Loca”……which they did play.  Met some nice people from the club.  One of them was “Hanna” who was a transsexual who called herself a diva.  She asked me why the hell we were in Wroclaw  and I really couldn’t answer her in straight terms…other than that we were curious, but in the back of my mind I wondered…”why the hell are you staying in Wroclaw?”    Anyway.  Went to another bar in the center, seen some guy literally get kicked in the ass by some meat head…the guy just stood there..I shouted “hit him back!”  we dispersed…was supposed to meet them the next day but we were too tired …. felt bad about that, hope they didn’t wait too long for us not to show up.

Back to Prague for a day to catch a plane to Eindhoven, which is about a two hour train ride from  Amsterdam.   Went out with some Swedes in Prague, Laura stayed behind.  After being heckled numerous amounts of times by prostitute pushers, we made our way to Europe’s tallest..or largest…or some shit like that club.  1st floor, dudes on the dance floor, 2nd floor, more guys on the dance floor, but on this one they were grinding each other.  3rd floor, same, 4th kinda the same……..the Swedes were all straight and did not find this too amusing….”fucking fags everywhere” they kept saying…..oh great, here we go, and this wasn’t even considered a gay bar.  We paid some rediculous amount to get in so they didn’t want to leave since it was already pretty late.  So…..these were the type of guys who’ve known eachother since they could pop boners and really never got past that stage,  circle jerk anyone?  They were dead weight to me and I dreaded hanging around them just for the fact that I’d have to announce my sexuality eventually….which I did, but to have to have it come down to that point is awkward.  They seemed to change their tone a little and started dancing in a circle with eachother,  I sparked up a chat with this sexy lady next to me and out of spite and a desperate need to get away from them we started mock swing dancing to “Mambo #5”, it was a spectacle.  I guess Prague is behind also.  I could feel their uneasiness burning me another asshole..it was great, losers.

Got outside, drunk as hell, big burly Swedish guy comes up to us….can’t remember the dialogue much but what I do remember is making a gesture involving my pelvis and my hand miming his head in between…..he wanted to beat my ass but I’m not sure why he didn’t.   Maybe he thought gay was contagious by touch or something of that nature.  Oh yeah, Michael Jackson died that day.

The airport had a bunch of refreshments for our flight.  Drank about four or five glasses of champagne and some sandwiches.  Arrived in Amsterdam.  Laura knew this guy by the name of Brom there so he let us stay with him.  One of the things I really wanted to do while in Amsterdam was smoke my brains out, which is what pretty much everyone does, cliche.  I haven’t smoked in over two and a half years so I was curious to see how it would affect me.  “I’ll take a gram of the Grey Mist, and A Gram of the Swami 49828u08993”     Smoked my brains into mush the whole three days…and I can honestly say I’m done with it.  I was walking and reading a map at the same time when suddenly a pole jumped in front of me and smashed my nuts.  Laura laughed, and so did the people in the car who were turning.  Sat in Dam Square and watched about twenty deals go down.  I remember last time I came to Amsterdam: first 2 nights of no sleep,broke, rain, on the street talking to junkies at 4 am in the morning. flashback. ahh.   Seen some prostitutes in the windows yadda yadda yadda.  They make a lotta money.  15 euro for  blowjob, 30 for sex, and extra for : different positions, different holes, and also extra for if you want her to pretend that she likes it……foul.  One guy in Budapest told me that whores are not real people.  First off, I don’t agree with the word  “whore”, and second, really, what makes your pathetic excuse for a life seem so much better than theirs?  Cause you’re a man?  I can’t stand that shit.  These girls that are in these windows have probably been shitted on by men their whole lives. Fuck you!

Went on another free tour.  The dutch don’t really like tourists.  They would ride by on their bikes and yell ” don’t beleive a word she saying, she’s lyin” to the tour group.  It was the first time I really felt like an asshole tourist.  Here we are standing in this little huddle listening to someone else tell us what we could find out ourselves….but it was free so whatever.  In the middle of the red light district is a church.  Back in the day Amsterdam was a common place for sailors to go and do the deed, but before or after they did, they would stop inside the church and repent for forgiveness for what they were doing with these girls, so therefore they could have a clear conscience before they got back on the ship and had to resume to blowing eachother.

Met a fellow United Statesian from Grand Rapids, MI , Joe, that we met on the tour.  Got tipsy, had a good time.  Got lost on our way to the bus station the next day.  We walked about an hour and half with our bags on.  How do the obese do it?  You know the ones who have a sack where their navel should be, and it swings back and forth, and the heavy breathing…..etc.   It must be hard.  I would just lie in bed all day and get filthy fucking fat.  “I need some more Oreos, get the crane”.

We were supposed to take a plane back to Prague and then a bus to Wroclaw and then up to Gdansk, Poland and then Warsaw…but we decided fuck it.  We had enough of Poland.  Thanks for the peirogies, and Hannah.  So we decided on London.  I smoked a joint while walking to the bus leaving for London.  I’m sure I wreaked of it and looked like a chinese man with cerebral paulsy but I didn’t want to waste the  bud….I paid good money for that.  The driver must have been suspicious of me and told security at the border.  Laura said she heard him saying something about someone smoking marijuana on the bus….ooops.  Everything was fine though….I had nothing on me, pigs.

Got to London, seen a paper on the train or “tube” saying London gay pride was this weekend.  Nice, something to do.  Staying with Alex, a guy I met in Kracow who offered his house to us.  Super host.  Made us dinner, toured us around a bit. and over the top accomodating.  I’ve noticed on this trip how not very rare it is to meet genuinely nice people.

BBC is just as brainwashing as Fox except BBC gives you a little more detail.  So golden boy Obama is sending 4000 troops to Afghanistan.  Gee, didn’t see that coming…wink wink.  Read that he is upping  precautionary defenses for the Swine flu virus to 300% even though there is no real evidence that it will be an epidemic or pandemic .  Do I smell a mandatory vaccine coming our way?   I am not getting it.  I have no idea what they’d be pumping into my body.  no way!

“I’m the man, you’re the man, and he’s the man as well”

So there is a heat wave this week in England…something like 80 degrees.  People are shitting their pants over this.  A bunch of pale as crackers complaining about how sweltering hot it is.  They have  a picture in one of the papers of an elephant laying on the ground supposedly suffering from this blistering heat wave.  halarious.  The damn thing is from Asia, he is just taking his elephant nap.  The papers are still calling Michael Jackson  “Jacko” and “Wacko”……but these papers are consider tabloids like the ones in the states, but here in London they pass them out on the streets like they were Red I’s.  weird..

Gonna go on another free tour tomorrow.  Art museums, and back to the hair cuttery place I went to today that shaved me a mohawk but it looks more like a squirrel tail laying on top of my noggin.  It’s a little off centered too….

“2009, another fake election, another fake politician, another distraction brought to you by your fake t.v. station, number one source of manipulation, number one source of fake information, load’em all up into the concentraition- camp, god damn uncle sam, I am a man, I’m not just a number, I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I am gonna make a stand, fight the fascists and the hidden hand, fight the new world plan, fight religion and the vatican. ”

Anyway.  On a more personal note:  I’ve got a case of the turtle head.  I’m out.