Daddy, am I white?
So last night I went to a reggae concert in Winooski, with two friends, both of whom love to travel, are very smart and conscious and are studying international development, conflict resolution and environmental studies. One is of Indian descent, the other is Caucasian, Polish probably with some other European blood mixed in. The location, the Monkey Bar, was sparsely filled and we knew about half the the heady White Rastas. Faded shawls made turbans for the dreads of a few of our fellow monkey-dancers, others just let their knappy blonde hair fall to their backs. One of the fellows approached us with some over-spiritualized jargon, “I just wanted to offer my greeting” he explained. One of my buddies, whose skin is brown, made a dismissive comment about these whites, and those like them, and rich whites who think they understand others, assuring the other two of us that it wasn’t meant for us, and not to take offense. Well, I didn’t take offense, and sort of took it as a compliment, that I didn’t count in the group of wanna be culturally-sensitives she was referring to, but then wondered why I too was so judgemental of them. We hadn’t started dancing yet and instead were discussing our upcoming travel plans (Thailand, Geneva, Uganda, India). We were shouting above the music and discussing safety abroad, and our responsibilities as respectful travellers. Her comments brought up two reactions, identification with those people she was discussing, and need to distinguish myself from that identification. I used to have dreads, after all, and why not? I have the luxury of studying film and polisci and taking courses abroad etc etc. and yet, I know that I’m not some dopped up “seeker” on a hazy, smoke-filled path to enlightenment abroad. So, the question came up, can whites, since white people have historically been so evil to dark people, do anything good? I decided us poor whites, are in a sense screwed either way. If we ignore the suffering of humanity, well, then we are stupid rich white people, but if we attempt to engage, well then, it could be said “what do you know about the true suffering of the world? You shouldn’t even try”. I tend to disagree with the second idea, with the caveat that often attempts at “help” backfire. But, for example, Israel accepts German Reparations, and Germany, conversely had a responsibility to provide them. Similarly, as people with education/ money/ other useful skills/ we have a responsibility to share them, regardless of that our ancestors did. I think the key which separates out my Polish friend from the people were were observing is that she is not looking for some ego gratification, guilt-salve, but rather is genuinely interested in learning about the world an offering what she can to it.
So, to back up for a second, i have to say I fall in a rare category, because Jews have white skin, but have been typically oppressed. Some Jews whose skin appears slightly darker say they aren’t white, though we all came from the Middle East initially. But, if we use that reasoning, we are all black, because all people originated in Ethiopia, so u, that doesn’t really make sense. One of my friends, not willing to accept that I could actually be “white” assured me, “Don’t worry, Nilima, you’re Jewish, you’re not really white.” While I felt included in her circle, I’m not sure that this type of thinking is actually great progress, but rather it represents the swinging pendulem from the past where one would be afraid to admit their ancestry included a drop of black blood. Hopefully soon any skin color won’t be such an automatic determinant of worth.
Tags: Background, Mississippi, Travel, US travel
nabrams
Leave a Reply