Tales From the Chicken Bus

Day 261

We slept well and felt secure with our mosquito net tucked into our bed. Mzuzu is over 1000 meters so its pleasantly cool at night. We were up at 7am ready for our breakfast which was included with the room. Two fried eggs on toast, fresh fruit, juice and tea, breakfast was surprisingly large and good. Jordana and I walked to the muddy bus station looking for transport north. We figured we’d stop at Chitimba on Lake Malawi before heading into Tanzania.

Its difficult to tell which bus is leaving next as there are so many, no schedules and bus touts telling you that their bus is next. After a quick walk around the U-shaped station we decided on a mini bus. We waited for it to fill and about 30 minutes later we were off. I had bargained for the fare and we were paying 1000 Kwacha to Chitimba, however we could hear the money collector speaking with other customers who were going further than us. All I could understand was Karonga and 500. Oh well I figured maybe I didn’t do the best bargaining job. When he asked for money I asked why they were paying 500 to Karonga and us 1500 to Chitimba. He gave me this rude reply laughing about how its 1800 to Karonga. Sure whatever, I wasn’t about to argue I was more mad at the rude way he spoke to us.

We stopped often picking up and dropping off passengers. One lady came on with a tub full of fish that just reeked, it smelt as if it was rotting. Lucky for everyone she only rode with us for 10 minutes. Near noon we reached Lake Malawi, a beautiful sight after the dusty farm fields of central Malawi. Soon after we came to Chitimba. We stopped at a police checkpoint right at the beginning of town. Jordana and I got out and looked around as people tried to sell us things and kids begged for money. I walked around the van and looked around then turned to Jordana, “Looks like a shithole eh? Kinda run down”, she agreed. “We could just get back in and keep going, keep going to Tanzania today its only a few hours away.” I offered her this thought. To be honest as beautiful as Lake Malawi is supposed to be we haven’t had the best experience in Malawi so far, I would be fine if we just skipped over it. “Yeah, let’s keep going. Its not nice here”. So that was it, Malawi just wasn’t going to work for us so we were outta here. I told the money collector on the bus that we wanted to continue to Karonga. He demanded 500 kwacha each more for the trip. “Hold on, you said it was 1800 to Karonga from Mzuzu, we paid 1500 to here. How can it be 500 more! Here is 600 for both of us.” This guy was making me mad now, first he’s just plain rude when he speaks to me and now he wants us to pay more than he originally told us! I was thankful we decided to leave Malawi today.

Karonga’s bus station looked identical to Mzuzu’s, I think Malawi has a set design for bus stations. Besides the layout or lack of one the one thing they all have in common is mud. We need to find a share taxi to the border. As we exited the bus about 10 guys all were shouting to come with them. We ignored them and stopped at a stall for a drink, I was thirsty and wanted to take a second to figure out how much this should cost. “Sir can I have your bottle?” A boy asked me, he wanted the deposit from the glass bottle. “Sure no problem, give me a second I’m almost done”.

We bargained for a good 10 minutes with all the drivers before finally agreeing on a fare. We climbed in the car and now drove back and forth in front of the bus station looking for other passengers. I commented to Jordana, “Would it not be easier and cheaper on fuel if they just waited in one spot?” We drove up and down the same street for about 15 minutes constantly honking the horn until we had Jordana, myself, two men and a baby in the back seat and a young girl in the front. Finally we were off and barrelling towards the border at 140 km/ph. A few people got out and by the time we reached the border it was just the two of us. There was a sign for customs on the right but we veered left for some reason.

As we got out of the car I figured out why we turned left, the driver dropped us amongst the money changers and porters who offered to carry our bags. We just walked straight to the customs office. Finally the end of Malawi, not so fast though, there was no agents to be seen. We finally saw someone and he asked if we were exiting or entering? “Exiting Malawi”, we both said. “OK wait here”. We waited 10 minutes before someone else arrived, he finally got to stamping us out. Although it took a while as he was on his mobile phone and chatting with the guy behind him. With our stamps we happily began walking out of Malawi. I had one issue, since we thought we’d be in the country a while I had withdrawn the equivalent of $120 U.S. I wanted to change this but the money changers were offering a ridiculously low rate. As we walked about 10 guys followed and I tried to bargain for a better rate. Finally one guy agreed, he gave me what I wanted in Tanzanian Shillings and I gave him my Kwacha. I saw him slip a wad of the kwacha to another guy. I shouted, “Hey, why are you giving him that?!” I had just counted it all in front of him so we just kept walking. Then he says that I’ve short changed, by just under half. “What? I just counted it in front of you and YOU just slipped your friend some of the money.” I explained. He just kept counting it and then telling me to count it again, of course it was short his friend had the rest of the money. This went on back and forth for a goof 2-3 minutes, he wasn’t listening to me and just kept saying I never gave him what I said. Then I lost it, “You’re a fu*king liar! Fine, just give me my fu*king money back now!” He gave me only what was in his hand, still short the bills he slipped to his friend. “I want it all, you fu*king liar!” Finally he gave me the rest and I gave him back the Shillings he had given me. As we walked away he was shouting he’ll give me a better deal. How stupid was this guy? I thought to myself I should have just continued walking over the border since he had given me the amount of Shillings I wanted. Then again maybe he’s friends with the police or something, and who were they going to believe here? We finally walked over the border to Tanzania, good ridance Malawi!

It felt so good to be in a new country, the custom agent was friendly and advised us not to change money here. Yeah thanks. He asked us if we were married and why we didn’t have kids yet. He said we should go home and have children. Was this guy talking to my mother? Mom did you set this up for us? We were stamped in and walked a steep and hot few kilometres to the bus stand and grabbed a packed bus to Mbeya.

We arrived in Mbeya early evening, we checked into the Mbeya Peak Hotel, nicer than it sounds and then went out for dinner. I liked Tanzania better than Malawi already. It was cheaper, people were already more friendly to us and we had a fabulous vegetable curry for dinner. Things were looking up again now that we were out of the so called “warm heart of Africa”.

Day 260

One day in Lilongwe was enough, it was time to move north. We got an earlier start today and were looking for a bus to Lake Malawi or at least a good distance north of Lilongwe.

After a short bargaining session we were in a taxi and headed back to the bus station. Even though Lilongwe is more overgrown village than large city there is tons of traffic in the mornings. We were stopped on the bridge of the main road to the station. Below us the dirty Lilongwe River flowed and at first glance down the river banks I thought it looked beautiful, a scene of deep green trees and grass. On second glance I noticed the shacks of people who had nowhere else to live, the people washing in the filthy river and the piles of garbage everywhere. When poverty resides in a beautiful setting its easy to overlook how poor it is. From the river scene we soon were back at the bus station. At least since we were here yesterday we now knew exactly where to go.

We stepped around the muddy puddles and walked toward the buses for the company we wanted. “Mzuzu!?” A man shouted at us. “Is it leaving soon?” He said yes it was leaving now. First rule of travel is never believe anyone in a bus station. However after looking at the bus it was quite full, meaning it just may be leaving soon. We had hoped for a bus to Nkhata Bay but Mzuzu is near there and with the bus leaving soon it was tough to pass up. We climbed on the bus with our packs, it was full. Every seat was taken and many people stood in the aisle, bags were piled up behind the driver and we added our to the mix. In the first row there was a single seat that was free, Jordana sat there and I stood. The bus moved forward to the gate of the station, then stopped. The door opened and more people got on. I guess they waited to see which bus was leaving first. We were packed in like sardines, I could barely manoeuvre my feet amongst the other feet, bags and chickens that were now aboard. As we finally left the bus yard 50 Cent came blaring on the sound system with the family friendly lyrics of, “I smell pussy”. I looked around at the old ladies and children aboard and back at the driver, did anyone think this was an odd musical selection? Only 8 more hours to go abroad this rolling farm of a bus.

“G-Unit! G-Unit!” Three hours into the trip the 50 Cent album was now repeating. We pulled into a busy station, the man who collected money on the bus turned to tell me many people would be exiting the bus so we should find a seat together. When the bus stopped it was a mad rush on and off and there was no way I was getting a seat. So as we pulled away again I took my spot standing next to Jordana, I was perfectly happy here, standing seemed preferable to sitting on a narrow hard seat. “I told you to find a seat! Why did you not?” The bus guy snapped at me. I politely said, “I couldn’t find one.” I wanted to say, “Did you miss the rush of pushing people armed with chickens, fish and whatever else is aboard?! How the heck was I going to get a seat when I was being trampled you fool!? And another thing, can you please turn off the 50 Cent already!” Soon after the stop we managed to get two seats together and squished in. We also realized that the bus worker was just a rude inconsiderate guy. When we moved a lady sat in the single seat Jordana had been in. The bus guy told her no she couldn’t sit there. Why not you ask? So he could sit his lazy ass down while she stood.

Late afternoon we arrived in the busy town of Mzuzu. It was a hot, tight and annoying ride. I lost count but we heard the entire 50 Cent album at least 3 times. The bus station in Mzuzu was a smaller version of Lilongwe’s grand station. We decided to spend the night and continue on in the morning, according to our guidebook there was a decent place to stay within walking distance. As we walked out on to the road men yelled out at us, “Muzungu! Taxi?” I approached one man and said, “No thanks but if you want to be a nice guy can you point me and the right direction of Flame Tree Guesthouse.” He gave us directions and we easily found the street which had a sign pointing the way. We walked towards the guesthouse which was in a residential part of town. We passed many people who stared at us and when we smiled and said hi they just looked away blankly. Flame Tree was a actually a nice spot with a good sitting area around a large stand of bamboo. The room was a bit cellar-like but clean enough.

Before the sunset we walked to an ATM and to find dinner. A young man stopped us on the street and asked us where we were from and the general questions a tourist gets. I foolishly thought he just wanted to talk but then he pulled out some art work he was selling. It was good stuff so we bought two pieces from him. There was nothing wrong with him selling his work to us but we both commented how we’ve noticed a difference between Malawi and Zambia. In Zambia often times someone would just want to talk for the sake of chatting with someone different, in Malawi it seemed people were only nice to us if they were selling something. We walked around the town searching for a restaurant without much luck. Then we came across a pizza place run by two woman who made pizza in a wood burning oven. It was pretty good if a little weak on toppings, a nice surprise in this small Malawian town.

We finished the night reading outside of our room surrounded by burning mosquito coils. The peacefulness was a nice change from continuous 50 Cent on the bus today. Jordana and I talked about how Malawi was the so called “Warm heart of Africa”, we were beginning to wonder if the warm heart had grown cold.

Day 259 I'm trying to think of a nice thing to say about Lilongwe, but its tough to come up with one. I like cities and can usually come up with at least one thing that I enjoy about a ... [Continue reading this entry]

Day 258 Up again at the break of dawn, this time to catch a bus to Lilongwe, Malawi. It seems like we've been up before 6am everyday for the last 10 days. There were always taxi drivers waiting for ... [Continue reading this entry]

Day 257 The heavy rain that fell overnight helped both of us have restful sleeps, unfortunately it turned the much of the city into a muddy mess. Lusaka has a population of over 1 million but it looked more like ... [Continue reading this entry]

Day 256 We were up at 5:30am, an hour that has become quite common for us to rise at. Our bus to Lusaka left at 7am and lucky enough it was a 500 meter walk from the hostel. We ... [Continue reading this entry]

Day 254 One of the great things about Jolly Boys is they have a free shuttle to the falls for the first 14 people who sign up each day. Its only one way but saves about 25,000 Kwacha ($7 CAD) ... [Continue reading this entry]

Day 253 It felt a bit strange going to the airport, its only the 3rd flight we've used to get somewhere on the trip. Strange but good as well. In South America we had a clear goal, overland from ... [Continue reading this entry]

Day 252 Besides being a comfortable room with a fantastic view one of the biggest benefits of staying at the Monte Carlo hotel was the location. Our Translux bus to Jo'burg left just up the street, a 5 minute walk ... [Continue reading this entry]

Day 251 Getting up at 3:30am doesn't seem right. I could hear people coming back from partying the night before, it shouldn't be an hour to start your day. Then again the benefits of a 4am bus are plenty. ... [Continue reading this entry]